Like a kid in a candy store

Run with you heart

2012-01-17T20:33:00.003-06:00

My new year's resolution was to run in a 5k, a 10k and a 15k this year. It seemed like a nice progressive plan of 3 major runs in a year. Little did I know... those runs are several miles long!

There is no plan for my running, I just go and see how the run feels. I told myself not to have crazy high expectations and to listen to my body. Running has been a slowly building process in which I work hard every time and get better and better results each run.

Late December, I jogged for a full mile straight. Last week, I finally made it up to jogging for 2 full miles. I know that may seem like small potatoes for some people, but it was a pretty big accomplishment for me. I texted my sister afterwards that I had never run that long or that far, nor had ever thought about even trying much less actually doing it. When the nice lady on my Nike GPS told me that I had "Completed 2 miles" something in me broke and my legs just stopped jogging. I tried another little jog after I walked a bit, but could not get myself to go more than a few feet. I walked a mile to cool down and marveled at how I could have just jogged so far.

Yesterday, I began my run as usual. I thought to myself, "Maybe today, I could jog 3 miles" A few times I went back and forth between "I can't" and "Yes, I can!" until somewhere along the way the nice Nike GPS lady said "3 miles completed".

My sister and I have been sending each other motivational messages and pictures since December 1st when we promised to lose 5lbs each month until we reached our goal weight. The words and pictures that we've been sending fly through my head each run. "When your legs give out, run with your head/heart" "The run never takes more than it gives back" "The only workouts I regret are the ones that didn't happen"

Running has taught me never to doubt what I am capable of doing. I had never dreamed of running 2 miles and yesterday I completed 3 miles. My new year's resolution will happen, "I can't" is no longer part of my vocabulary. My beginning motivational quote was "No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch". Now it's "PUSH YOURSELF - someone out there is warming up with your max"

New beds!

2011-12-14T20:52:00.011-06:00

Over a year ago, Ryan and I got married! Woo!

I know I know, old news. But I have a reason for bringing it up. Ryan and I finally took my parents up on their gift of a new bed as our wedding present. We have moved so many times in our relationship that we were trying to hold out until we found a more permanent home (as in longer than a 1 year lease) but the uncomfortable bed could not stay another day. After some research and budget planning, we (mostly me) decided on a sweet memory foam bed and a platform from ikea!

It only took me 5 hours to build, but I love it more every day.Also, the height works perfectly with our nightstands. We can finally stop bumping our heads and faces on the corners!

Hazel lucked out because I couldn't handle the idea of tossing out a perfectly good (and expensive) memory foam topper and our apartment is way to cramped already to store it. So something had to be done with it.

We set up her cage,
but she has since grown out of her yellow bed from when she was a sick puppy.

A new bed was in the cards for her and I seized the opportunity to get crafty. I was still feeling on a high from the wallet, so I went for it full steam ahead.
Hazel wanted to be a part of every step of course. She wanted to be sure mom's lines were straight and that the cushion was, ya know, cushy enough.
I hardly had it in place before Hazy jumped in to test out her new digs. She approved!

fun things: my new wallet

2011-12-14T20:31:00.005-06:00

Ever since I found this website: craftgawker, I have been trying to get around to all these projects that I've "oooohed" and "aaaahed" over but never actually attempted. Prior to my recent artsy-craftsy period, the most I had ever done was some straight line sewing of curtains. I haven't scrapbooked in a very long time, so it was a really good feeling to get into the crafting mode again.

First things first: a sweet little wallet you can find here. This wallet that fits perfectly inside my cute purse from etsy.

It took a few tries and since I'm new to the idea of cataloging my crafts, I only have pictures of the finished product. The first wallet took me about 4 hours and the second that I made for Nina took about half and hour! I am extremely excited about the results!

I'm hoping that blogging my craft adventures will help inspire me to continue starting AND finishing projects. More to come!

I am officially a teacher!

2011-01-15T09:57:00.003-06:00

On Wednesday, January 5, I accepted a position as a 2nd grade teacher. Several years ago, I graduated from UF completely unsure of what I would do with my degree. After 2 years of searching and thinking, I observed in a 2nd grade classroom and decided right then and there that I was called to be a teacher. It took much struggling and many tearful and stressed out moments to get me to this point. I never dreamed of getting a job immediately after graduation, especially not in the grade I had always wanted to teach.
In order to get officially certified as a teacher, I had to forge past a couple of small mountains. It seems that not changing my name officially and having graduated too recently was causing problems. I have been praying for nothing but strength and patience. A moment before losing hope and patience, I realized something. I was wearing the same shirt on the day I observed years ago that I wore at my interview and was offered the position. This was completely unintentional, but it taught me something very deep inside. Aside from the fact that I obviously don't update my wardrobe very often, I realized that my prayers had come full circle. God had shown me that I truly was meant for this position and that I only needed to follow the path He laid out for me. So what if my transcripts didn't come through right away or that my name change slowed the process considerably? Who cares that I had to get hired as a sub for a day before I could be hired as an official teacher? Did it make a difference at all that I wanted these things to happen faster? In the end, God knew it would work out and He knew that I would need to learn patience and perseverance in order to become a truly good teacher.

Monday of this past week was my first day of school as a second grade teacher. It took everything I had to make it through this week! The first 4 days, I counted my blessings that even though we didn't get through all of the lesson plans and I only remembered to check their homework folders once, at least there was no blood or broken bones. Then Friday comes around. Just when I thought I was going to make it through the week, a bloody-mouthed child walked up to me near to tears. He had slipped in the bathroom and hit his already loose front tooth. His mouth was bloody and his eyes were teary. Fortunately, we were in mid-transition and all the other students were on their way out the door to other classrooms. I was able to walk him up to the capable and experienced hands of the angels in the front office.

In all other ways, my first week as a teacher was a complete success. Every day got better and better. The students are still testing the waters to see what they can get past the young, new teacher, but all-in-all we are all making the best of the transition. One dad said to another teacher, " I heard my kid's new teacher is hot, where is she?" =) I guess I'm in with the parents already!

I told Ryan that it was part of his husbandly duties to help his wife set up her very first classroom. I explained that it was part of the contract and it was signed, sealed and delivered when he said, "I do" and kissed my face. Unfortunately, he was incredibly sick that weekend and could barely bring himself out of bed. He was so sick, in fact, that he took his first sick day in about 3 years. I excused him from his duties and took the rain check for the weekend before my second week of school. Just as good I suppose. I promise to take pictures and share my new classroom once it is truly set up.

I must say that being a teacher is incredibly rewarding and apparently incredibly exhausting. I have been going to bed anywhere between 7:30 and 9:30 every night. Last night I had to work my second job and I could barely stay on my feet until closing. My very kind boss has offered to allow me to stay active on payroll by scheduling me one day per pay period. I only have to work 2 nights a month, get to keep my discount and have a back-up plan in case I don't get picked up right away for the following school year. She literally said the words, "We'd do anything to keep you. Any one of the other managers would hate to see you go." I was completely flattered and my job satisfaction climbed to new heights.

Things are working out better than I ever imagined. I am truly blessed and thankful.

Oh baby!

2010-12-14T18:00:00.003-06:00

Subbing in kindergarten is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get. I've had experiences in Kindergarten that have made me want to leave the teaching profession altogether and never look back. But then there are days like today when I have the sweetest, cutest bunch of kids that leave me not only wanting my own classroom, but also wanting to have my own little babies!

For now, I will settle for a classroom of my own. The Lord may be answering my prayers after the holidays, though. I found out on Monday that a teacher at my school may be moving away. The first person she thought of to replace her in her classroom was ME! It is still on the down-low that she is leaving, so they are not interviewing or posting the job, but the assistant principal has been making arrangements to observe me in a classroom when I am subbing. Some of the other people on the hiring committee have made it known that they fully support me and my abilities as a teacher. I am so excited at the opportunity and the support! My mom and sister are already putting in their prayers for me and I am fervently praying myself!

New look...

2010-12-09T16:19:00.003-06:00

It was apparently time for a new look. I finally had a minute to explore the blog design options. The controls have changed quite a bit since the last time I changed the look, much easier to use.

So it seems wasting time has not been my strong point. While I have been watching Sex and the City, it is more of a background thing while I work on other things. When Ryan and I were first discussing how much I should work each job to make a reasonable amount of money without breaking my back, I figured at least 5 sub days a month (you never can tell when you'll be needed as a sub) and then 20-25 hours a week at Target. As soon as I spread the word that I was subbing, I got about 5 jobs in the first hour. Now, teachers search for me in the various classrooms and schedule sub-days here, there and everywhere! I am so blessed to get so many jobs that I don't have to worry about how many hours Target schedules me. My sub calendar for the month was full by December 7 and I am still getting random phone calls from other schools and teachers! I have reserved 1 day a week to spend time in my internship classroom because I loved those kids and my cooperating teacher so much.

Being in different classrooms everyday hasn't been easy. The morning starts off with establishing myself with 15-20 students as a credible teacher worth listening to for a minute or two. Then we spend the day trying to get through the lessons and deciding when the kids are telling me the truth about what Ms. or Mr. Normal Teacher "usually does". I am, however, really enjoying getting to learn how each teacher sets up his or her classroom. I have learned so many tiny little things that make the classroom run smoothly and keeps it organized. Also, I am getting tons of experience teaching the new (nearly impossible) math standards that everyone is having trouble with teaching. It is very difficult to pick up the math lesson for the day and try to teach it to the kids. Most of the time, I am clueless as to how much of the previous lessons that the students understood. I just have to pray that they understood enough to make it through the next lesson that I have to teach. I'm glad that I am getting to go to different grade levels because the more exposure to the new math, the better prepared I'll be when I have my own math lessons to teach!

As far as the apartment looks, you wouldn't be able to tell that I have had much time off. Technically, I haven't since I've been subbing during the day and working target some nights and every weekend. The dishes have been caught up and the laundry is less of a mountain and more of a normal looking pile. There is still work to be done, so off I go!

Wastin' Time Day 3

2010-12-04T10:26:00.003-06:00

I never knew just how much time I could waste, until I had time to waste it! I turned in the last of my assignments on Wednesday, the first day of the month and the first night of official free time!

While I will not feel completely and totally unstressed until I get my actual grades and degree, I am feeling like a 3 story brick building has been taken off my shoulders. Just in time for full-blown Christmas relaxing. Well, that's not entirely true. As soon as I finished my internship and classes, I immediately picked up as many sub-jobs as possible and increased my availability at target by 300%. Even so, there is no greater feeling than coming home from my job(s) completely free to do anything.

Lately, Ryan has been asking me, "What have you been up to?" periodically throughout the day. I find it hard to answer that question. Hours pass and I have no idea what I have done. I'll probably start feeling guilty about not getting anything accomplished eventually, but as of now, I am enjoying the lazy-time that I have earned.
By day 3, I have wrapped up Christmas presents, washed a few dishes and hung a few clothes. I have started checking off items from me "Freedom List". This includes re-watching all of the seasons of Sex & the City - I'll round-off that item by watching both movies. Also on the list - read a magazine cover to cover. I've got issues from August that haven't even been touched! There are about 6 books on the list that I have been dying to read. I've found several art and sewing projects that I would love to try, too.

I figure by day 5 I will be ready to whole-heartedly tackle the things that actually need doing such as the laundry or the dishes or or changing my last name or calling my mom (just kidding, I did that on Day 1 - moms are important!)

In the meantime - pictures!
Our first Thanksgiving dinner as husband and wife: meatballs, ham, broccoli casserole and steamed green beans.

Homemade pumpkin pie for dessert:
After the meal, we put up the tree!Cheesy picture! Hanging our first ornament together

All decorated:

Masters Degree - Elementary Education Comprehensive Exams

2010-11-07T22:43:00.002-06:00

3 weeks.

3 questions.

3 research papers.

3 weeks starting 2 days after Ryan and I got married.

3 questions related to the Accomplished Practices of Professional Teachers.

3 in-depth research papers which must be in perfect APA style and use peer-reviewed articles from within the last 10 years.

I PASSED!!!

Love my cookbook!

2010-09-07T16:17:00.002-05:00

Give me 2 days off in a row and I can get so much accomplished...except when I wake up on the first of the two days with a stuffy nose and a headache. We are now at day 3 of being a sicky. Tylenol for the headache, decongestion medicine for the nose and my cookbook for the soul.

Ever since the bridal shower, I have had my nose stuck in the cookbook at least twice a week trying out new recipes. My spices cabinet has pretty much doubled in size! This week we are trying a beef stew, rosemary chicken with wild rice and beef stroganoff. Yum!

I am so excited about all the new kitchen gadgets too! I remember shopping for my brother's weddding. I kept thinking, "If I buy this for them, I am certain they will never use it." That is not the case in my kitchen! I never knew what a pastry blender was until I started devouring the cookbook and now I am on the hunt for one!

I love my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook! Thank you to Ryan's beautiful parents for thinking of such a lovely gift!

Send me to the kitchen!

2010-05-10T23:20:00.004-05:00

Tonight, for the first time since December 2009, I have no homework! Spring semester really, really kicked my ass. My hard work paid off as I finished off the semester with 3 A's and a Satisfactory in my pass/fail class. Woohoo!

On a whim, Ryan and I stopped by Borders after having a celebratory dinner and ice cream. As I shopped, I found a cute little lemon print apron on clearance. I have been thinking about making or buying an apron for a couple of months now, but haven't found anything terribly desirable. The apron was a bit too long, but I bought it anyway because it was just cute enough. Something about it inspired me. As I showed it to Ryan I realized that with a bit of effort I could trim off the lengthy bottom and use the excess fabric to create pockets. Sold! I am aware that the project is a minor one to any seasoned seamstress; for me, it was an honest-to-goodness sewing project!

When we got home, I set right to work. It took some re-acquainting with the wonderfully mysterious contraption (at least for me) that is the sewing machine. There was also some trying and re-doing involved as always with me and my sewing projects. However, I did not give up! I now have my very own semi-homemade lemon print apron, complete with pockets! Enjoy:

Buried under homework!

2010-04-22T17:07:00.002-05:00

While I should be doing homework, I am updating the blog in hopes of building some momentum to write my paper that is due by midnight tonight.

There is so much homework due this week and I cannot seem to bring myself to complete it! This semester has been quite a struggle. I had to complete 80 hours of observation in addition to working at least 10 sub days (around my classes and other job). I am embarassed to say that I have yet to finish 25 hours - all that must be logged by the end of next week.

Due this week:
1. Strand Assignment - Oultine all of the Next Generation/Sunshine State Standards from Kindergarten - 8th grade on one strand of Mathematics. Then find 3 hands-on activities for each grade level. My strand is about Geometry. I had completed about 1/3 of this gargantuan assignment, took a break and came back to find that all of my work had been lost! I considered dropping out of school at this point.

2. Position paper on my personal Philosophy of Discipline - Choose and support my choice for which discipline plan works best for my future classroom. Align my discipline model with one of the researchers we have discussed this semester and detail some of the strategies I plan to use. I am actually interested in writing this semester. The class has been my favorite by far because the information I learn is applied directly when I substitute. Some of the theories actually work, can you believe it?!

3. Complete 2 more Math problem sets - Design at least 3 "good problems for students" and provide evidence of their work. Complete 3 activities on the National Library of Virtual Manipulatives, provide evidence. (This one is easy, but tedious).

4. Comprehensive Unit - Write a 10 day unit for a grade level of your choice on the topic of your choice. I chose 2nd grade subtraction to include basic subtraction, subtraction with regrouping, and multi-digit subtraction. The unit must have sunshine state standards listed and complete lesson plans.

5. Paper on Accomplished Practices - Following my almost finished 80 hours of observation I must write a discussion on 8 of the 12 Accomplished Practices of Educators. Using the Key indicators I have to discuss how the accomplished practices helped to shape the outcome of successful learning in a 4th and 2nd grade classroom.

These 5 things don't seem like such big monsters when I list them. However, this past weekend I had such a good time relaxing in Tampa with friends that it was hard to get back into the swing of my academic life. On top of that, the father of one of the teachers I have been observing passed away. She asked me to sub for her as many days as I could this week so that she could take care of everything and to help her get through this sad time. Between her classroom and the other school I sub at, I have subbed every day this week and will be subbing tomorrow. This included a half day immediately following my morning class on Wednesday. I am just happy that I only had to work 1 night this week at the other job. Early mornings have been rough this week and that does not make it easier for my brain to pump out accomplished practices or geometric activities or classroom management strategies!

Enough procrastinating...if you can't find me, just dig underneath the pile of books near my computer - I'm under there somewhere!

if I had time to blog...

2010-03-12T23:59:00.003-06:00

I would:
1. Tell you all about my wonderful birthday which we celebrated almost a month ago!
2. Say thank you to all the people who sent me lovely cards
3. Talk about how difficult it is to pick a new app or ringtone for the iPhone with all the fantastic itunes/app store money I have been gifted with!
4. Talk about my new title and raise (woohoo!) at work
5. Regail you with details about all the wedding plans that are falling neatly into place
6. Post pictures
7. Talk about how the wedding is just barely over 6 months away!
8. Say how much I'm going to miss the cold, snuggle-inducing weather which has been replaced with rain and hot and humidity
9. Say "Happy Birthday Marcy" (it's not past midnight in my timezone, does that count?)
10. and, finally, I would talk about how I am back on track to get down to my fighting weight with Ryan's help!

Instead, I am exhausted from work and making a list of what I need to post about. As tired as I am right now, I am actually quite satisfied. Funny how a little raise can make the hours that much more worth it. It also helps that a lot of big details are set in place for the wedding. Goodnight!

A Full Cup

2010-02-12T23:08:00.002-06:00

Last night, I got a call to substitute for a full day today. I immediately took the job for several reasons:
1. The school/teachers at the school prefer to use the same subs over and over because they learn the routine and the students and the students get to know the sub. Basically - the better sub you are, the more exclusively they call you.
2. The teacher calling has a pretty varied day and only works with small groups of children in Kindergarten and 5th grade - good variety.
3. Better pay day the more sub jobs I take.
4. It's the Friday before Valentine's Day and it's known that there is almost always a party - hello candy and treats!

So I got up early and got ready for the day ahead. The morning started off really easy. I had about 4 kids in a reading group and I really felt like a teacher. I used multiple strategies to try to teach the kids about autobiographies and biographies. I had a good handle on behavior despite the fact that the kids were very excited about their upcoming party. Next, I had a group of 8 or so for math. We talked about patterns and I really think I taught them something! It was a really good feeling.

After math, I went to a Kindergarten classroom. We colored and passed out Valentines. I watched 2 of the cutest little girls in the world read a story to me. They were almost reading better than some of the 5th graders I had earlier that morning. Some of the little ones gave me little valentines treats and sweet little hugs. 5th grade science came after Kindergarten. I just had to walk around and check their notes to make sure they were able to study them for their test on Tuesday. More candy and treats were passed out - yum!

My day ended at 11:30 when the big kids went to lunch. Their holiday party was after lunch and then they go to special area - neither of which I had to be present for. Sweet - still got paid the full day.I took advantage of the free afternoon and made my way over to the elementary school where I'm doing my 80 hours of observation. I made it just in time for them to pass out their Valentines and have their party. I helped the 2nd graders decorate cupcakes and passed out the other party treats. This class is just about the best behaved group of kids I have ever seen. They were so polite to each other and so excited about all their goodies. We played heads up 7-up and 4 corners to get some of their sugar-energy out and then my day there was over. I didn't log those hours as observation because it wasn't really academically informational. I mostly just wanted to see how a good teacher runs her class on a holiday.

I headed home to have a late lunch with Ryan before he headed off to work. We played our computer game for an hour and then I took a nap after he left. At 6:30 I had to go to work at Target. boo. It wasn't terrible though for a change. I was in a good mood from my sub job and observation. I felt well-rested after my nap.
I absolutely cannot wait to become a teacher and have my own classroom. For now, I'll settle for the mini-highs of teaching as a substitute and observing a great teacher in action. Overall, today was busy but very fulfilling.

Why I'm marrying him - Reason #925

2010-02-06T23:44:00.003-06:00

Most weekend nights Ryan and I are working. We've been trying to avoid eating out just for the sake of eating out, so I regularly pack our lunches. So the other day I was getting my lunch and Ryan's lunch together. I made our sandwiches as usual and gathered all the fruits and granolas bars that serve as sides/snacks as we go through our night. I poured some light sweet tea into a bottle for Ryan and added it to his lunch. He's been trying to stay away from diet sodas lately and has replaced soda with lots more water. I know water isn't his favorite drink so I threw in the sweet tea. Upon noticing the new addition to his lunch, he looked down at me, held me in his arms and said, "This is why you're going to be a good mother. You're so conscientious when you pack my lunch. Our kids are going to have great lunches. You're gonna be a great mom." I swear to you, I was positively glowing! I have always wanted to be a mom and have also always worried (like most moms) about doing a good job. Hearing the man I love tell me that I'm going to be good was just about the sweetest moment in our engaged lives.

Most people I work with have asked me about my relationship with Ryan. Several of my co-workers have been through a divorceor two. When I tell them that we have been together for over 5 years and our engagement means the world to me, the response is usually "you guys are doing it the right way, so many people just rush into it and get it wrong." I know this and have known it for quite some time. Too often these days, people aren't taking marriage seriously. Marriage has almost become the modern version of "going steady". People rush into marriage and rush into divorce and hop right back into another marriage like they're replacing their car. Ryan and I are getting married because we literally want to spend the rest of our lives together. We thought carefully about what it means to be married and thought carefully about future together. We did things our way such that our relationship is strong and trusting. And moments like when he tells me I'm going to be a good mom solidify in my mind and my heart that, yes, we are doing it the right way.

New semester, new year, new attitude

2010-02-02T11:58:00.003-06:00

(Yes, I know it's been awhile...)

This semester started off at a running pace! I was so relaxed and stress-free during the Christmas/New Year break, so I was completely unprepared for the break-neck speeds of my classes! I was thinking that since 2 of my 4 classes are hybrid (some classtime, but mostly online work), it would be a breeze. Not!

This semester I am taking a Math class which has completely tedious, "busy-work" type of assignments. My teacher is very sweet, but wants a lot of hands-on work from us. It took me a couple of weeks to get into the groove, but I think I am caught up at last.

I'm also taking an ESOL class with another very sweet teacher. This is the second class I've had with the teacher, so I thought I knew what to expect. However, since its the sequel class it is much more in depth (read: more work!). But after getting through the tough weeks, I am back on track!

My third class is Classroom Management/Organization. We had a pretty big paper/presentation due in the 3rd week which is the cause of most of my disorganization and poor planning. This class was sort of the wake-up call that told me, "Get organized!". The teacher is very nice and we only have to actually go to class once a month. The rest is discussion board posting and responding. We have another major project due in April and I am already planning ahead!

The last class I'm taking is strictly observation in the field. I have to spend a total of 80 hours observing and writing about my observations. It sounds like a lot, but I'm looking at it as the constant reminder of how rewarding my future career will be. This is just the little step that I have to take to get there.

Today was my first observation day and I almost completely dropped the ball. I've been working really hard to go to bed early and get up well before Ryan so that I have time to do my homework. This morning Ryan had to be at work at 10:00, so I rolled out of bed just before he left to get his lunch together and then get my day started. I was lounging around in my pj's, eating breakfast and checking the usual websites before doing homework. Ryan texted me at 10:18 asking what my plan for the day entailed. As I'm detailing my lovely quiet morning at home, I suddenly realize that I'm supposed to be at the school for observation at 10:30! Fortunately, the school is about 4 minutes away from the apt, so I knew I could make it with some serious rushing. Also fortunately, my wake-up call from the rough start of the semester had prompted me to get prepared ahead of time. I brushed my teeth, got dressed in record time, grabbed my notebook and ran out the door. I made it right on time, but my teacher was held late in a meeting. The 10 minutes of waiting gave me time to collect myself and slow down again.

It must be my lucky day today because I ran into one of the girls in the program. I had been trying to get in touch with another teacher at the same school with no luck. She introduced me to the teacher and voila! I have my observation hours ready to go with the 2nd teacher! I'm positively glowing from my frantic yet very productive morning. Being around amazing teachers and working in their classrooms makes it very hard to go back to the retail job, but it's a means to an end and I'll get where I need to be eventually.

Wedding Progress

2009-11-14T16:30:00.002-06:00

Ryan and I have been engaged for about a month and a half now. Woot! Despite school and work obligations, we have managed to get some details worked out. It always helps me to have lists to see how far I've come and how far I have to go!

1. Centerpieces chosen - 1/2 the materials gathered (we're slowly gathering the pieces as we get the 50% coupons at Michael's - hooray for wedding on a budget!)
2. Wedding favors chosen - my mom's doing some serious baking the week of the wedding
3. Favor boxes ordered
4. Stationary purchased: Invitations, programs and thank you cards
5. Bridesmaids chosen
6. 1/2 the Groomsmen chosen
7. Colors picked (yellow for Ryan, pink for me)
8. Guest List finalized (I hope! We haven't added anyone in over a week, good sign)
9. Gift registries set up - www.thehoneymoon.com and www.target.com
--Please feel free to use these as gift ideas for Christmas and birthdays to come.... =)
--That was a fun day at Target. Ryan didn't let me use the gun at all! He said if he had to shop for this stuff, he got to be the gun holder. The second time we went, he let me use the gun because he's fair like that.
10. Wedding website in progress (stay tuned for links) - We just have to add some pictures and little bit of Ryan's flare to the website and it'll be up and running.

We're still workling out the wedding venue choices. We've seen some places that have pieces of what we want, but no one place has it all. There are a few more choices we're looking into, but I think I know which we'll choose if the last places come in over budget. We mostly just want a place where no one will feel cramped. We found place that has all the space we need at a good price, but all the decorations will have to be brought in ($$$). We found a place that has all the beauty for a bit over budget, but the room is sort of divided and some tables might feel separated from the party (no good).

And now it's time to do homework. Blah. The semester is over Dec 4 and that's right about the time Christmas shopping will be in full swing at work. No rest. But it's all worth it.

Weekend Away

2009-11-05T22:56:00.003-06:00

This weekend will be half vacation and half wedding planning. Ryan and I will be galavanting about Jacksonville meeting with different reception location possibilities and spending time with my family.
After a very special email from Ryan's sweet mom and an attempt to put things into perspective, I have come off the cliff. I cannot control how others act, but I can control how I react to others.
We'll be traveling to Jacksonville tomorrow ready for a busy weekend of planning and hopefully a bit of relaxation.

In other news, I am buried in school work at the moment. One of the things that has always helped me to get things under control is making a list of everything that I have ahead of me. Once I finish an item on the list, I take a red pen and mark through it triumphantly. The list is quite long at this point, but I had the joy of crossing off 2 things this week. I have found my stride in this semester, at last. It helps to put the wedding stuff aside every now and then, even if it is just to do homework.
Ryan and I have decided that it might be best for me to slow down on school a bit. I'll be extending my program plan by one semester. This way, we will be able to actually take our honeymoon right after the wedding instead of 3 months later when my internship is over. Also, I won't have to take so many classes at once. We haven't had as much time together lately to really enjoy one another's company. What little time we do have is spent buying groceries, cleaning the apt and running errands. This weekend is much needed. Four whole entire days together is exactly what we need to keep the balance.

Expectations, Obligations and Entitlement

2009-11-03T17:06:00.003-06:00

I have always thought that wedding drama was overrated. In my pre-engaged mind, I could not for the life of me figure out what could be so dramatic or stressful. Sure, there are several hundred details that could be hashed out in making your "Big Day" the most special day possible. I just couldn't see how picking out colors or menu items could be stressful. Didn't the idea of marrying the man you love with all your heart oblilterate any possibilities to have stress in planning how to make the marriage happen?
Budgeting is just about the only detail that I could see as a stressful matter. But Ryan and I are so close in thought when it comes to budgeting, I figured we'd skate past that detail easily.

I never once realized that the number of family members you have is exponentially related to the amount of stress and drama you experience. I am Philippino with Catholic roots. Basically that means in this equation I am screwed. My father has 7 brothers and sisters. My mother has 6 brothers and sisters. Each of those aunts and uncles of mine has children and some of those children have children of their own. While there are several family members that still live in the Philippines (Thank you Jesus!), there are quite a few who live in the States.

I have an aunt who feels that simply because she is my aunt and I am getting married, she is entitled to be a sponsor in the wedding. I have a cousin who has a daughter who feels that I should be obligated to have said daughter be the flower girl, possibly because I was in her wedding. I have a parent who is getting hoity-toity about whose side of the family is more represented in the wedding, my mom's side vs. my dad's side. I am expected to have my sister as my maid of honor. This is the only detail that my family has imposed on this wedding that I feel is appropriate and appreciated.

When I think of all of the things that my family wants and compare it to what Ryan and I want, I just want to scream or hide under the covers and wait until September 26, 2010 comes around. There are people in my extended family who have declared that they are not coming to the wedding because of a tactless Facebook comment made by another family member. I am suspicious of the full reasoning behind this declaration. It may be because I have not chosen my cousin's daughter as a Flower Girl and because I have not asked my aunt to be a sponsor. Either way, they are trying to make this declaration of non-attendance as a statement of anger and to make a strong point of how hurt their feelings are.
In all selfishness on my part, I do not care. It doesn't hurt my feelings in any way, shape or form that they are choosing not to come. I see their absence as 4 less people that I have to supply dinner for.

These people that I call family are being ridiculous, plain and simple. If it comes down to it, we won't have any bridesmaids or groomsmen or sponsors or flower girls or ring bearers. Ryan, using his best manager voice, will just have to tell them all too SUCK IT! (Hi, my name is Bridezilla...)

In the grand scheme of things, does the flower girl or ring bearer or sponsor or bridesmaid or groomsmen or usher have any impact on whether or not Ryan and I are married at the end of the day? In a word, NO!

And that's not even mentioning the fact that Ryan has family members as well. He has sisters, and nieces, and nephews and parents and cousins and aunts and uncles just the same minus about 100. It may be that he is protecting me from drama on his side, but I'm thinking it's more along the lines of the idea that there is no drama coming from his side. My cousin doesn't stop to think that maybe Ryan has a niece that would look lovely carrying a basket full of rose petals down the aisle. Which he does and she would, by the way. All she sees is that her daughter is not included and that must mean I hate their family. Obviously. On that subject, however, it is a well known fact in my family that this cousin and I have not always been BFF. She was probably the last person to be told, and that wasn't a coincidence. Knowing this, why would she feel I would want her bad attitude in the wedding party at all?

All I have left to say is, don't be surprised when instead of getting an invitation to the wedding, you get an announcement of our marriage with pictures of me in a huge Princess ball gown standing in the front of a courthouse with Ryan. Just don't be surprised.

who knew?

2009-10-30T18:48:00.003-05:00

I feel like I just stepped into the new age of technology (about 5 years late). I have been thinking for awhile that I would like to have a new laptop. After about 2 months of thinking and thinking about it, I finally went out and bought one. I found a laptop for half the price of the last laptop I purchased 5 or 6 years ago.

This laptop has a built-in webcam. I didn't even know that was an option. It was pretty reasonably priced, and since the wedding costs are pretty much taken care of, I don't feel too bad about buying one. My major reasoning for buying one now was that I need a reliable, fast-working portable means of studying. I get very distracted in the apartment, so I very rarely get more than 30 minutes of studying done at any one time. I envisioned myself studying in the library for hours at a time or sipping coffee at panera while typing up lesson plans and other projects that require some serious planning.

So far, I have used my new technology to take a picture of my new haircut. See?

I am actually sitting in Panera, sipping coffee. So I guess now would be an appropriate time to crack open the 10lb book about teaching little kids to read. Oh yeah, and study for the science extra credit quiz to make up for the one I bombed last week!

Mid semester

2009-10-18T11:35:00.004-05:00

This past week I had 2 midterms. One midterm went beautifully and the other felt like a scary disaster. Taking 3 classes in my undergrad felt like a breeze, midterms were never particularly hard and life was so much different. Taking 3 classes in Grad school is a bigger undertaking than I ever expected!

Following midterms, the bulk of my major assignments are due. We have a lesson plan to write, present to a group of students, record on video said presentation and write a report on the lesson plan experience as a whole. On top of that, we had to conduct an extensive reading assessment on an emergent reader and write a report on that interview. Aside from these assignments, we have to write weekly journals based on the readings (100+ pages sometimes) each week. The journals take about 5 hours to complete, no exageration. These are just for one class!

For my other classes, I have to write 3 more lesson plans and take 2 finals. The other classes are less intense, but still need attention.

There was a time when I was really feeling spread too thin. I was subsitute teaching and working at Target, pulling doubles across the 2 jobs. Studying for midterms and preparing for papers. Taking piano lessons. Trying to plan a wedding. Trying to spend time with my fiance. Trying to fall asleep at night after long, mentally and physically exhausting days and feeling unsure as to whether I would be able to keep my head above the water.

Things have calmed down quite a bit, mostly because I was about to break. I bought a planner and got organized, cut back on substitute teaching only on days when I don't also have to work at Target, my last piano lesson is on Tuesday (sad), and I'm taking the wedding planning in manageable chunks. A little organization goes a long way! Of course, I am always behind on the laundry and the apartment is in a constant state of disarry. We always have clean underwear and food to eat, so something must be going right!

Mid semester means I am running down the homstretch. I can't allow the homework and busy schedule become a mountain that I am afraid to climb. One week at a time, keeping a weather eye on what's coming up, but celebrating the little gains. I can do this without losing it.

Done!

2009-10-16T14:09:00.001-05:00

Regimental Commander

Astropath

Officer of the Fleet

And a Space Marine for Jenn*

Planning a Wedding

2009-09-28T17:37:00.004-05:00

The initial "ohmygodisthisreallyhappeningtome" is slowly starting to become "ohmygodthisreallyishappening!" I had no idea there would be so much that goes into a wedding.
We have a LOT of details to figure out. Fortunately, Ryan is very patient and easy-going. He lets me talk my through my thoughts out loud and isn't set on anything in particular.
We have yet to decide if we are going to have the wedding in Jacksonville (where my big family is) or Gainesville (where lots of Ryan's family is and where we have spent the majority of our relationship). I always thought that a wedding was supposed to happen in the girl's hometown, but I guess that's a detail that's changed over time. I have found 3 or 4 locations in each place that are serious possibilities. We are planning to make some phone calls and schedule some tours within the next month or so. Picking the location seems to be a good starting point. We'll let the rest of the details flow after the location is settled on.

There are some details that I am set on, but so many more that I don't even know where to begin.
1. Should we get a videographer?
2. What should the centerpieces be?
3. Where/when will we go on a honeymoon?
4. How much can we do ourselves and how much do we pay to have things done for us? Invitations? Wedding favors?
5. What should the wedding favors be?
6. I have no idea what kind of wedding dress I want!

Help! If you have any tips or trick up your sleeves, please share them!

September 25, 2010 - Save the Date!

2009-09-23T22:04:00.005-05:00

Ryan and I are ENGAGED! Despite the fact that I have been thinking about this nearly constantly for the last 4 or so years, it still feels wonderful and exciting. He picked the most beautiful and most perfect ring.

We have this running joke that if I go broke, he doesn't mind being my sugar daddy, he just won't fund my IRA. When he proposed, he said to me, "So, I was thinking that you know I am unwilling to fund your IRA, but I would be happy to fund our IRA." Then he pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him! Of course the answer was yes and we had a little romantic moment as we basked in our new engagement.

We went out to dinner to celebrate. My phone has 6% battery life left in it because I have been on the phone for so long!

I am so in love with Ryan. He is everything in my life that makes me happy. When things are sad or happy or exciting or boring, I only want to share it with him. This engagement isn't just the necessary next step, it is simply what he and I are meant to do. We love one another, we share interests and we support each other's separate interests and hobbies. Our relationship is important to us and therefore we work at it every day to be sure that we continue to love and support each other.

In order to take the pictures, I had to invade Ryan's craft space because it has the best lighting situation for up close pictures. Since my fiancé is ever-obliging, he simply worked around me girly foolishness.

Here is the ring up close. So pretty!

And as a toll for borrowing the workspace, this is Space Marine standing with my newly ringed finger.

And here we are! Engaged! In love!

September 25, 2010 is the day that we hope to celebrate our wedding. So mark your calendars, people. It's going to be a sensational Saturday.

Ugh.

2009-09-21T18:15:00.002-05:00

Today, we went to walmart to see if they had a game that was recently released. I very much try to avoid walmart at all costs, and not just because of where I work. Ryan' describes trips to walmart as completely depressing, and I am inclined to agree. One of the major things that bothers me is the fact that walmart cashiers are consistently resistent to the idea that I would like to make my purchase and walk away without getting a bag. We usually bring our reusable bags to publix and target, but when we forget, we never get any trouble for choosing not to use a bag. On one shopping trip to crapmart, one cashier actually got mad at us for not wanting a bag.

This trip we had 4 items, 2 cans of spray paint and 2 packages of Heroscape figures (toys), easily carried by two capable individuals without getting an unnecessary plastic bag. The cashier rudely informed us that "you can't just walk out of the store without this stuff and no bag, it'd be different if you had a package of gum but this is completely different." To which I replied, "Even with a receipt?" Crapmart cashier insisted, "No. I have to put it in a bag. You can recycle the bag at the door, but I can't let you walk away without a bag." The aforementioned recycling bin was inside of the store, so you'd have to empty your bag before you exited which means we would walk out of the store with products and no bag!" The situation mostly annoys me because I just don't get why the cashiers seem to take it personally that I choose not to waste plastic bags. It also wouldn't have been so bad if the cashier wasn't so rude about it. She was so angry that we didn't want a bag for our merchandise. So angry. I'm just going to have to start bringing my Target reusable bags each of the very few times that I shop at that store.

I'm just saying...

Far, far away

2009-09-18T23:22:00.001-05:00

Wow. I didn't realize it has been so long since I last posted.

Since I got back from vacation, things have been kind of crazy. I'm taking 3 classes this semester which isn't terrible. It is taking quite a bit of effort to keep up with it all, though. Between working at Target, substitute teaching and going to class, I'm stretching myself a little thin. All of my classes require a substantial amount of reading and I'm proud to say that I have been keeping up pretty well.

Also since I got back from vacation, I have had this overwhelming feeling of isolation. I went from being in an RV surrounded by my mom, dad, sister, brother and sister-in-law to apartment living with just Ryan. Here in Panama City, we haven't really made any friends. There are people that I talk to at Target and maybe once in a blue moon I'll spend time with one of them outside of work. Literally, in actuality, I mean once on a blue moon night, I went to dinner and then shopping with a girl from work. I think we did that about 2 months ago.

We might not have gotten along perfectly well on the RV trip, but it was really nice and really fun to be surrounded by my family. I genuinely miss them all. Since moving out of my parents house waaaay back in 2002, I haven't really had that feeling sink in so deeply. Living in Gainesville meant that my family was only an hour and a half away. I never missed anyone's birthday and never worried about making it home for the holidays. Ryan's family was just around the corner and that meant more family and more fun. Panama City is only between 4 and 6 hours away from it all, but somehow that seems too far.

I missed my sister's birthday last week and it was pretty much heart-breaking to hear about how she had about 30 people (mostly family) came to her house to celebrate with her. I'm not even sure I'm going to make it home for Thanksgiving since I now work in retail. That is truly depressing.

I very much miss being close to family and friends.

Up...kind of a downer

2009-07-07T23:37:00.002-05:00

Ryan and I took advantage of a common evening off by going to see the new Pixar movie "Up". It's about this old man who decides to use a million or so ballons to fly his house to South America. Only...the previews don't really mention that it's a rather depressing path that leads him to the whole house-flying decision. It is an animated film by a company who has a history of making excellent children's films, but Up isn't exactly along the same happy-go-lucky theme as, say, Monsters Inc, Finding Nemo, Cars, etc.

I'm not going to say it was a bad movie and I won't give anything away, but I will say that it wasn't the happy fun date movie we had hoped for.

IN OTHER FANTASTIC NEWS! I splurged. I bought an iphone! I am in awe of all the wonderful things it can do and I've only discovered half of it. I had been planning on buying an itouch for several months now. I mentioned as much to my brother who promptly convinced me that an itouch was simply a iphone without the phone capabilities, and if I was planning on buying both a new phone and a new ipod by the end of the year I might as well get the iphone (I apologize for the run-on sentence). I thoought to myself, "I can never justify in my mind paying for a wildly expensive phone, breaking my current phone contract and paying ridiculous amounts for a data plan." Again, my brother directed me down the right path. Apparently, all I needed was to buy an iphone through craigslist on the cheap. Another problem arose at this point, living in a relatively small tourist town means that there are slim pickens on Craigslist. Jacksonville, however, has options galore. After a few calls, a quick trip to meet a guy with a phone and a fedex delivery (delayed by a holiday weekend), I am a proud owner of an iphone for a lower-than-market-average price!

And now I'm going to play with the fanciest gadget I have ever owned.

Date Day

2009-06-28T21:13:00.002-05:00

Lately, since my schedule and Ryan's job in general have been so stressful and exhausting, we have been hard-pressed for quality time together. By the time we have a day or even just an evening off together we are too exhausted to do anything but sit around the house.

Last week, I worked the closing shift 7 nights in a row in electronics, followed by a day shift as a cashier. The consecutive nights were those leading up to and during Father's Day. Everyone and their child wanted to buy some sort of electronic gadget for their dad. I can't tell you how many GPS thingies (yes, I'm very technical) we sold or how many cameras. Every night the store was an absolute mess and we had to stay until midnight or later every night. The night before Father's day I didn't make it home until after 2am! Needless to say, there was not much energy in me to clean up around the apartment. I was washing and drying the laundry, but instead of folding and putting it away, I was piling the clothes neatly in a corner of the bedroom. Dishes were piling up as well. Fortunately, following my 8-day stretch I was lucky enough to have 2 days off in a row (Ryan had neither of the days off). In my 2 days off, I beat back the laundry pile and Ryan found time to get the dishes cleaned up.

Before the 8 day stretch, we had a common day off and took the opportunity to go out to eat and watch a movie (The Hangover, very funny). Today, we decided to have another date day in celebration of another day off together (twice in one month! shocking.). We enjoyed dinner at Carrabba's and then watched Transformers. It was a very good movie, though I do not recommend drinking lots of water at dinner and then lots of soda during the movie. Date days have been few and far between lately which makes them all the more special.

now that's a deal

2009-06-15T22:18:00.003-05:00

Ryan and I have been throwing around the idea of buying one of those fancy HDTV flat screens for quite some time. We've researched online and checked store ads weekly, but for some reason could never justifying buying a new tv when our current tv's were working out just fine.

One of the main reasons we've been wanting a new tv is so that we can hook up mutiple accessories at once. The last time I actually got a new tv was on Christmas back in 1998. Yes, that's right, NINETEEN NINETY-EIGHT! Eleven years ago. I'm not sure when Ryan acquired his 2 tv's, but I can tell you they probably weren't much younger than my tv. The tv from 1998 has a fairly large screen so it's been our main, living room tv in about every apartment I've ever lived in. The large screen however comes with a large body behind it, meaning it's a pain in the neck (mostly my dad's or Ryan's neck...) to get upstairs or moved around as much as we've moved. It's other major downfall is the fact that it only has one RCA hook-up. We could only have either our game console or the dvd player hooked up at one time. It would be fine if the Wii played DVD's, however that is not the case with the Wii.

Lately, Target has been sticking me back in Electronics where I have picked up a fact or two about tv's and other assorted electronics. Working in electronics also gives me first dibs on tv's that go on sale or on clearance, provided I can snatch it up on my break before a guest buys it first. We decided last night that the best deal on the 32" tv we wanted was indeed at Target, my 10% discount tipped the scale. So, I made my way back there to see if we had any in stock. And then! I found (read: Jacob a.k.a "Mr. Electronics Guy" showed me) a clearance 37" tv. I received 30% off for buying the display plus 10% off for my Team Member discount. This means that Ryan and I got a 37" tv that normally runs for $579.99+tax for the low, low price of $337 and that's with the tax included! Less than we were planning to spend on the 32"! Woohoo! It looks like it's worth it to work in retail every now and then.

After 11 years, it doesn't feel like too much of a splurge to spend $337 to upgrade a bit.

Movie night anyone?

Yea for a Masters!

2009-05-28T22:04:00.002-05:00

I had my first official meeting with my FS-boo advisor yesterday. She and I worked out a grand plan to get me finished with the classes part of things by Summer of next year. After that with any luck I will get a teaching job that will also count toward my "Student Teaching" experience. Some of the perks of the program that I wasn't aware of inlcude the fact that I will be ESOL certified and my Reading Endorsement will be complete. Though the Reading Endorsement thing isn't widely accepted outside of FL, many other states will see it as a desirable credit, if not a credentialed specialization. Some of my classes will be taken at the Undergraduate level while still counting toward the Masters degree! This means my student loans will be significantly lower than I had originally planned.

Following my meeting with the advisor, I felt energized and excited to be really going back to school (again). For some reason it felt more like a chore at UCF. Maybe because the classes were online in Orlando. Meeting in actual lecture halls with teachers and other students seems to signify actually being in school for me.

Things are shaping up even more in PCB.

exhaustion

2009-05-19T14:39:00.003-05:00

Work has been kicking my butt lately. It's been awhile since I've worked random hours and random days off. It isn't quite the teaching job I am hoping to one day fill, but in its own ways it can be very rewarding. I've been moving around to different areas - Electronics (an area in which I know nothing!), Presentation Team (they clean and reset all the areas of the store, one painfully dirty section at a time), and other various things.

This week I've worked a 5am shift, a 6am shift and an 8am shift so far and I am beyond sleepy. Though I think instead of taking a nap today, I might try to unwind with a walk on the beach. Ryan's at work and the mess of the apartment is too frustrating to deal with today. I just hope it doesn't rain...

Funfetti

2009-05-17T22:03:00.001-05:00

Who can feel guilty about reading a girly book in bed while enjoying a spoonful of funfetti vanilla frosting (okay two+ spoonfuls)?

Certainly not I!

Dollars and sense

2009-04-23T23:46:00.003-05:00

Ever since Ryan's mom (Happy Birthday!!) introduced me to the world of coupons, I've been dying to get that really good deal. I've been working on holding on to coupons and checking out sales yielding small successes here and there. CVS seems to be the place to really get some good deals, but their products are not exactly items that we frequently need. I've had my eye on the Dove Skin Vitalizer thing, but it just didn't seem right to spend $13 to try a product for fun.

CVS is having an unadvertised sale according to Southern Savers and there's now a $3.50 coupon. Here's how the pros do it (bear in mind I am no pro, just having fun saving the dolla dolla bills):

Total before sales and coupons: $13.90
Total out of pocket: $0.54
Total savings: 96%

Now that's a deal that makes sense.

In other news, I have officially been "promoted" at Target. Now don't get too excited. It's a lateral move, but still a step in the right direction. I will be in charge of the cosmetics section of the store. The new position has been referred to as Cosmetics Team Captain - me being the only person on the cosmetics team. I'll take it! The key fact to note is that this change in position basically guarantees I am no longer a seasonal employee. Thank God!

honestly.

2009-04-11T00:06:00.003-05:00

There's no honesty like my mother's honesty. She will be the first to (ruthlessly) tell me when I have lost/gained weight, when I look pale or when I'm being cranky. It can be exhausting and sometimes prevent me from visiting home. The past 2 weeks I have been feeling anxious about this weekend because I am going home for Easter. I've been laying out by the pool every chance I get because I know I've gained some weight, but I'll be damned if she tells me I look pale. Especially considering I live so close to the beach now.

Work has been kicking my butt. I work all kinds of hours, usually staying later than my scheduled shift. I'm very much enjoying the change of pace, but am having trouble with the lack of a steady or predictable routine. When my day is crazy and meals are unplanned, we go out to eat and it isn't usually healthy. I have tried and tried to get back on weight watchers, but the same motivators are no longer sufficient to keep me on track. Ryan is also very stressed from his job and going out to dinner has always been a great stress reliever for us. If he suggests going out to eat, I'm there. If I'm not in the mood to cook, he's starting the car and we're headed for the nearest restaurant.
We can't keep up like this. The scale is becoming The Enemy and I have no one but myself to blame. Therefore, I've created a new system of motivation to eliminate stress-eating/endless weght gain and support (controlled) retail therapy. My new goal is to lose 15 lbs (9 to get back to where I was and 6 to get where I want to be). If When the goal is achieved, I am buying myself a new phone. I've always been conservative when it comes to phones, always choosing something simple and relatively inexpensive. The razor felt like a fancy phone to me, and it's just your basic flip phone. I'm leaning towards an iPhone. Or maybe a blackberry pearl.

In the meantime, the little weight losses must be celebrated each week also. There are a few things I've been wanting to purchase but have been holding back. This week, if I can drop 2 lbs, I'm buying a purse. I know it seems rather vain and perhaps irresponsible to buy myself presents to celebrate weight loss. The old motivators - my pants are getting to tight, I hate looking in the mirror, my mom, it's bathing suit season - just aren't cutting it. For the last 2 days, the new motivation is working. If I can just get past the first painful week, I think I will achieve my goal.

Wish me luck...

5:00 am

2009-03-29T04:39:00.002-05:00

Yes that's right. 5:00am. I am going to work. I do not believe it should be legal to schedule a person to work before the coffee shops sell coffee. Just a thought.

chicken con broccoli anyone?

2009-03-27T14:03:00.005-05:00

So among my small circle of friends, there is a lot of teasing about the fact that when it comes to food, I am very predictable. For about 5 years in a row, we celebrated my birthday at Olive Garden and I always ordered the garlic chicken con broccoli. What can I say? I really enjoy it. It's a healthier option and I know I will always enjoy it. You can overcook a steak, or salmon can be too dry. Pork can be too tough and lamb is just not my slice of meat. Chicken and broccoli just works for me.
Well, it gets worse. Whatever restaurant we go to I order some variant of chicken with broccoli. And if the entree doesn't come with broccoli, I add it or if it comes with seasonal veggies, I request to only have broccoli. Every once in a while I branch out and order different things. I've recently begun to enjoy a nice steak (with broccoli - can't branch out too far). And Bonefish makes an amazing pork tenderloin. But when it comes down to it, I go for my favorite.
AND NOW! I can make it at home. Realsimple.com sends out recipe emails once a week or so. Last week, Broccoli Alfredo came up and I decided to go for it (and add chicken). My friends. I am pretty pleased with this recipe, more than just because it is my staple entree. I can actually make it. Let's be real here. History has shown us, we know my cooking skills are not so great.

All by myself, I cooked up some Chicken con Broccoli! It looks good, it tastes good, it smells good - I may never have to go to Olive Garden again...

Moving Mayhem

2009-03-13T00:18:00.007-05:00

I have moved many, many times in the years since I first left my parents house. It was mostly within Gainesville and roughly the same sized apartments. Leaving Gainesville meant going from a 3/3 to a 2/2 in Orlando. We downsized a lot. It felt good to clean out some of the things that we don't use and it was very entertaining to have out stuff magically disappear from beside the dumpster in a matter of hours.

The move to Panama City Beach seemed daunting because of the six hour drive. For a frequent mover like me, collecting boxes, recruiting my parents and packing quickly are not terribly scary anymore. Only in my dreams would a move involve actual movers and moving truck drivers. Well, folks, my boyfriend and his fancy company hired a company to get our goods from Orlando to PCB in 2 days flat. The majority of the packing was done by myself and Ryan in the early stages of the move. Boxes were stacked high and the apartment was in a general state of chaos.

In the midst of it all, Ryan found ways to keep things light-hearted and romantic. He constantly gave me little hugs and kisses and reassuring reminders that someway, somehow we'd get through the move happily.

On Monday afternoon, we drove down to Orlando to get the rest of the apartment packed. We were exhausted physically and mentally by the time we hit the sack that night around 2:00am. We had more packing to do, but exhaustion prevailed. The movers were scheduled to arrive sometime between 8-10am so we planned to be up and packing around 7am. I have never used a moving company before so I had no idea what to expect. At about 9 a knock on the door announced the arrival of the movers (a.k.a - our new best friends). 2 guys would haul the loot into the truck and 1 lady would do the rest of our packing for us. They told us the best thing for us to do is grab a cup of coffee and sit down somewhere out of the way. All of the miscellaneous knick knacks would be swept into boxes without any help from me or Ryan. Who knew about this amazing thing? I always operate under the mindset that if I can do it myself, why pay for it? Why? Why? Movers and their amazing skills make me rethink my position.

We decided to leave them to their work. We went all around town wrapping up our last minute errands and taking one last trip to Ikea (duh!). When we got back the apartment was completely empty. Shocking. Wonderful. Effortless. Love it. Tuesday we checked out of the apartment without difficulty. That night we were only lucky enough to get about 5 hours of sleep before we had to drive out to the apartment to meet the movers. Once again, they came through and did all the work. They put things where we directed, insisting all the while that we not help at all. Fine by me.

Our lives in a moving truck:

Before the storm:

After the truck exploded:

I'm very excited about the apartment. Once all the boxes were crammed into the space, my heart began to sink a little as the space seemed smaller and smaller. As we sort through the boxes and uncover the rooms, I feel less and less claustrophobic.

And finally, a growing stack of empty boxes: (don't worry we'll be taking them to the local recycling place!)

Day 325 in a hotel...

2009-03-06T19:47:00.004-06:00

~~We have run out of rations and entertainment. I am ready to hang myself on the shower curtain road.~~

Okay so I'm being a bit dramatic. It has only been 10 days in the hotel for me and 12 for Ryan. What I am really trying to convey here is that hotel life is getting old. Thankfully, Ryan's family has been kind enough to visit. First Jacqui and Luke came through town. The hilarity that ensues when you put the four of us together is unpredictable and quite enjoyable. I'm not sure we ever really stopped laughing, well maybe during Slumdog Millionaire. Beyond that though, we had a fabulous evening.

This weekend Ryan's parents are in town. The visits are really helping to break up the monotony that is hotel living. I am attaching myself to them (poor guys, they had no idea I was about to lose my mind from boredom). They have lovely plans that I fit neatly into.

In the 9 days that I have been here I have:
1. Secured a job
2. Found a real place to live
3. Experimented with black nail polish
4. gone shopping 3 times
5. Seen Slumdog Millionaire
6. watched a LOT of HBO1, 2 and 3
7. slept a lot
8. completed a 1000 piece puzzle (without looking at the box)
9. played a new board game with Ryan a few times
10. read a Real Simple magazine cover to cover
11. gone out to eat more times than any healthy person ever should
12. not gone to see the supposedly amazing beaches (not sure why it's panned out that way)

I really shoudln't be complaining. I could be living in Orlando until the lease ends which would mean that I would be by myself jumping and hiding from miscellaneous sounds and shadows. Instead of hanging out with my beloved every moment he's not at work, I could be hanging out with boxes. Not ideal or even comparable.

This weekend is really the final stretch. Ryan's parents (a.k.a - Jenn's playmates and entertainment) are in town for the weekend. Then on Monday morning we move out of the hotel, sign our lease and head back to Orlando to get the rest of our goods. We'll be back here by Tuesday night, the transition phase will be over and our new life officially begins. I am infinitely excited about making this new apartment a home. We plan to be here for a couple of years and don't plan on jumping from one apartment to the next during this time. I will put up custom made curtains, picture/poster frames will go up and we may purchase some updated and matching furniture to fit the new space. There are several goodwill/consignment shops around here, so hopefully it won't be hard on the budget or the environment to spice up the looks of our home.

Lucky Thursday

2009-02-26T18:27:00.002-06:00

Today was a whirlwind kind of day. I drove up to Ryan's hotel last night. It's a long drive and I came up with the following poem as I drove past Tallahassee: Seminoles are ay-holes. I think it's worthy of an award.

Anyway. Ryan and I woke up bright and early to enjoy a lovely continental breakfast together. Afterward, I went to my interview with Target. I had a first, second and final interview across about an hour and a half. Before I realized what was actually happening I had a job. I'm considered a seasonal employee, though I am pretty confident I will prove my worthiness of a full hire fairly quickly.

We had planned to spend the rest of the afternoon checking out places to live. We visited one place, but the leasing agent was so busy that we decided to come back later for a tour and discussion of prices. Based on a billboard (advertising works!) we visited another place that we both fell in love with. Completely against my usual over-planning, over-researching habits, we applied for the apartment and gave them a deposit. All in one day, I have a job and an apartment. I am so thankful for how smoothly this process is going. To be honest, I'm still sort of in shock.

Depending on when my orientation is and when the moving truck will be collecting our belongings to move, I may or may not even be going back to Orlando at all. It doesn't make a lot of sense to drive 300+ miles, pay for gas and tolls, just to work a couple of days then drive back. Especially since Ryan will have to drive back separately to meet the moving truck and help me finish cleaning/packing. It looks like the best plan is for me to stay here until we can both ride back to Orlando together (a trip which Ryan's job will pay for gas and tolls), meet the moving truck, load things up, clean up, check out of current lease/apt and head back. We'll be living in a hotel for a couple of weeks. We're going to think of it as an extended vacation. I love staying in hotels anyway. The only glitch in the plan is that I didn't pack enough clothing for myself. Not exactly the end of the world.

In other news, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO DA CHEZ AND ISAAC.

Interview!

2009-02-24T11:09:00.002-06:00

I have a job interview on Thursday! I am very excited that things could be settled a lot quicker than I ever imagined. I feel a little overwhelmed at how quickly and smoothly things are moving.
We spent Thursday and Friday cleaning and packing as much as humanly possible due to the incoming surge of friends on Saturday/Sunday. One day there was a mountain of things that still needed to be accomplished - curtains to take down, holes to fill, boxes to pack - and then the next day we were surrounded by full boxes and spackled walls. I'm in the midst of paring down the things that I will need in the next couple of weeks and things that can be tossed.

Thursday thru Sunday will take me away from the sea of boxes and into a time of apartment searching, job interviewing and meeting with advisors for the dreaded FSU. I will be an FSU student. It still hurts me deep inside to say that, to even think it. I am a GATOR inside and out. I have trouble even considering the fact that a degree from FSU could be valid and worth something. Obviously it is a wonderful school, accredited and all that jazz, but when you're a Gator trying to reconcile yourself to a Seminole degree, lines start to get blurred.

Either way, we're counting our many blessings. Things may not have been ideal in Orlando and may not be perfect in the new place, but you can bet that I'm thankful for all that I have in my life however hard it was to get here.

Perfection

2009-02-14T19:40:00.003-06:00

My day began at 7:10AM when my phone started buzzing every 20 minutes for about 3 hours straight. When the first text message came in, I thought to myself, "Seriously people, my birthday is the entire day, why start so early?"

Truly though, I am blessed with a HUGE family and many friends who love me very much. My brother called and sang a very interesting rendition of "Happy Birthday to you" which ended in his wife begging him to stop singing. My mom and dad called me and sent their love. My sister called a little past the crack of dawn and my aunts each sent me lovely picture text messages. It's an amazing feeling to feel this special and I am so thankful to be surrounded by such love.

Of course, nothing beats the day that I am having with my Ryan. We planned to go to PF Chang's for lunch, then go see "He's just not that into you" afterward. PF Chang's didn't work out because we had a slow start to the morning and wouldn't be able to make the movie if we waited to be seated. So we wandered around the Winter Park shopping plaza and found this lovely restaurant that neither one of us has ever been to called "Brio - Tuscan Grill". We sat out on the patio with the most perfect weather that anyone could ever dream of! Our table was in the sun at first, but we were able to move under the shade of a big umbrella. There was a light breeze with a temperature of about 72 degrees. We had a slow and decadent meal. My exact idea of perfection. Words cannot even begin to describe my levels of elation at this time and the day isn't even over yet.

Thank you to everyone for their birthday wishes and thoughts of love and friendship. I hope everyone is feeling as loved as I am right now!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

L-O-V-E

2009-02-04T18:38:00.004-06:00

Wednesday was a very long and challenging day. Substitute teaching can be rewarding, but challenging expecially when you introduce clinically diagnosed mental illnesses. It was a one-on-one day that just about absorbed all of my patience for the month! I texted as much to Ryan toward the end of the day. Being the sweet boy that he is he agreed to meet me at one of our favorite restaurants, Chili's, for a relaxing dinner out. We talked about just about everything for the entire dinner, after 4 years dinner out still felt like a first date.

Valentine's Day is rapidly approaching which means 2 things - I'm turning 25 and we all get to celebrate love of family, friends and life. I am deeply in love with my Ryan and from the way he looks at me, the feeling is mutual. I have nooooooo idea what I want for my birthday. I never know what I want for presents though. Mostly, I just like to go out and have a nice dinner. Maybe some flowers. But after that, I don't have a book or a purse or a movie that I've just been dying to have. If he just promises to love me forever, I will have everything I want for my birthday and Valentine's Day. I'm such a corny sap.

Because so much has happened...

2009-01-31T13:21:00.010-06:00

Since pictures can summarize things better... Here is how the last couple of months have been.

Ryan and I got out the tree right after Thanksgiving. We put it together:

Then, we decorated it and stood beside it proudly.

Also in December, Laney got married to Dennis:

She was such a gorgeous bride and we were so happy to be there for her wedding!I caught the bouquet! She actually threw it at me, but however it happened, it's mine! After the wedding, there was Christmas in Jacksonville:

I got old at some point and had to get glasses:

We got all dressed up so we could take our holiday card photo (very late) and only sent one card out...We celebrated the New Year at home in our PJ's with raspberry champagne: And finally, since I've gained a bunch of weight through all the holdiay madness, I got one of these from my sister as an early birthday present:

We'll be heading to Jacksonville and Melrose tomorrow to celebrate birthdays and a late Christmas, so there's more to come!

Success!

2008-11-30T17:07:00.004-06:00

This was my first year actually making some part of Thanksgiving dinner. One year my mom let me make the gravy. When that failed utterly, she sent me out of her kitchen. My duties since then have not gone past preperation per her specific instructions. This year, since I made my goodies in my own kitchen then plopped them on her table, there wasn't much she could say to stop me. Sweet potatoes are not a huge thing in my family. My 2 cousins and brother had never had sweet potato casserole. I watched their faces turn from apprehensive to delightfully surprised as the yummy goodness reached their tastebuds. My aunts took all of the casserole leftovers home and my cousin asked me to make extra for Christmas dinner! I think my mom might let me back in her kitchen now; she might even let me do more than just chop the vegetables or tell her when the pot is boiling.

After dinner, I perused the 5 pound stack of Black Friday ads and planned "The Route". My alarm went off at 4:15 am (I went to bed at a reasonable 1:00am) and we were on the road by 4:35am. My cousin Jay joined us. He recently joined the Air Force and by the end of the morning he was comparing his level of exhaustion to a week in boot camp. We went eco-friendly and brought our own bags to fill rather using the store bags. It worked really well to not have 15+ plastic bag handles digging into your palms.

Around 12:45pm my sister and cousin were falling asleep during the drives between stores, so I offered to drop them off at home before going on by myself. I spent another hour or so out and about getting last minute things. After helping my brother and sister-in-law move some things to their new apartment, my mom and I went back out shopping. I was tickled by the fantastic deals I got on some really great things. I only have to get one more present and I can check everyone off of my list. My sister and I split the loot in half to save time on wrapping.

By the end of the day, I was utterly exhausted. It was completely worth it. I really enjoyed being with my family, eating with them, laughing with them and shopping with them. I am so thankful for all that I am surrounded by. We are all in good health, good homes and have good relationships. We know just how lucky we are to be where we are today and this weekend we sat back and enjoyed taking it all in together. Could Thanksgiving weekend have been any more perfect? I think not.

Hello Holidays!

2008-11-25T21:03:00.002-06:00

We are well into the week of Thanksgiving. I have no work until next Monday and lots to do in the time I have. I'm heading home for Thanksgiving with my family. Then Black Friday shopping. Saturday we put up the Christmas decorations. And Sunday, I'm home again.

Ryan and I put the tree up the other day. Lights, ornaments, stockings, holiday clock. It's starting to look like Christmas around here. Now the hunt for boxes begins. In my family, we're big on disguising the contents of wrapped boxes. We add plastic containers of beads to add sounds, heavy items like bars of soap or lots of socks to make a box seem heavier or fuller. We put DVD's in obnoxiously large boxes. It isn't rare to unwrap a present only to find a cereal box with something fancy like an Ipod inside. One year, my sister was really hoping for this one movie that had one of those sleeve covers over the actual DVD case. I slipped the movie she wanted out of the box, then put in another movie and convinced her that I borrowed the sleeve from someone else who owned the movie. I hid the actual movie at the very bottom of her stack of presents so she didn't figure it out until way later. I love tricking her, probably a little too much.

Black Friday is seriously one of my favorite days of the year. I know a lot of people hate the agressive shoppers with seemingly permanent scowls on their faces or can't stand the mad dash for the "It" toy" or gadget of the season. For me, I love getting up at the crack of dawn, armed with my list of stores to hit and specific items to find, quietly making my way through the crowds of frantic people. I've had my disappointments where I've just missed the last item on the shelf, but then I've also had my triumphs in getting amazing deals on hot products. I just love it. We leave around 4:30am and are finished by around 10:00am, at which time I go back to bed. I can only handle this type of shopping with my sister. She and I shop very well together; she moves as quickly as I do and keeps her eye on the goal. After we get all of our stuff, we take turns standing in line while we check out the other deals around the store. By the end of that shopping time, I usually don't have many more presents to buy. In the end, I trade weeks of shopping and agonizing over where the perfect gift could be for a ridiculously early morning drving all over town trying to get the best deals. Not too shabby I think. Then, I get to spend the weekend after wrapping presents and we get to look at a lovely tree inundated with presents. Love it.

Hello Kindergartners...

2008-11-18T20:00:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, I spent half a day in a 1st grade classroom and by the end of the day, my voice was practically gone from asking them to be quiet, close their mouths and sit down on their bottoms. They weren't a bad group of kids, but it felt like they should have known better for their age.

Today, I spent a full day in a kindergarten classroom. I once again nearly lost my voice from asking them to please, please be quieter, sit down, and no hitting! For some reason, the kindergarten behavior, though much rowdier and louder, didn't bother me as much as the 1st graders. I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed kindergarten. Here I thought I was on a straight road to 2nd grade, but instead might be taking a detour in kindergarten or even pre-k. I think I was expecting very young children who would be unable to care for themselves in any way. Some of the pre-k kids could read and the rest were destined to be reading well before the end of the school year. The kindergartners I worked with today were a very smart bunch. Each of them knew the routine and behaved like responsible little adults.

They behaved until we went outside for a guest speaker - Mr. Paul, the karate teacher. He taught them that karate was about respect and discipline, then moved right on to punching and kicking. The rest of the day was spent telling kids to keep their hands to themselves and no punching. What can you expect though? The guy was dressed in his gi and was doing some neat things. Of course the kids would want to be like him.

I had great help from the more experienced teachers and found great comfort in meeting a teacher younger than me who is in her first year. They both looked like pros and helped keep my class in line. You could hardly tell that one had less experience than the other.

Substitute teaching has been fantastic. I know the kids are not on their best behavior because their normal teacher is out, so I also know that eventually I'll have my own classroom full of kids who know me. Thursday I'm going to be in a 4th grade classroom. This grade scares me, especially after being told that I'm getting a notoriously rambunctious class. I've seen the 4th and 5th graders in the cafeteria and some of those kids are as tall as I am. I realize it isn't a very difficult thing to beat 5'2", but when it's a 9 year old looking at the top of my head, I get a bit antsy. Time to find my most comfortable pair of heels (if there is such a thing).

They call me "Miss Jenn"

2008-11-14T17:52:00.004-06:00

"They" are the students and today I was the teacher, a substitute teacher, but a teacher nonetheless. I can't even begin to explain the feeling I get when I stand in front of the children and try to teach them. I actually watched little pre-schoolers learn. It's every bit as satisfying as I imagined.

On Thursday afternoon I received confirmation of my Substitute Teacher Certification for the local school county. On Thursday night I received a call from the school I work at to be a sub in a Pre-K classroom for Friday! Not only does this mean I have a great feeling of pressure released from the tightness of my budget lately, but that I can clock 7 more hours of classroom experience THAT I LOVED! I knew a couple of the kids from extended-day already, and the rest I got to know quickly. The classroom feels so natural for me. In a Pre-K classroom there is almost always a teacher and an assistant. The teacher was out for the day in this particular classroom, so the assistant led the class and I assisted her. There wasn't a ton of stuff for me to do, but I was definitely picked up better classroom management skills and had great exposure to a wonderful teacher who really knows how to interact with the children.

We moved from one activity to the next smoothly. The kids really seemed to enjoy me being in their classroom and the teacher even said at the end of the day, "Now, I want you in my classroom all the time!" Knowing how comfortable I felt in the classroom and how much I enjoyed being with the kids makes it all the more satisfying to be working toward my masters in Early Childhood Education.

I am so happy to be able to substitute teach now. I'm anxious to get into different grade levels and experience those classrooms. I'm excited for the extra income. I'm excited to work with the kids and develop my teaching skills. I'm excited that things are falling together, on God's time and not mine, at last. I'm thankful that I am so blessed with support from my friends and family.

Hah!

2008-11-09T21:57:00.003-06:00

And this is why I would have sunk like an anchor if I tried to do a post every day for 30 days. I would have dropped out on the 5th day. Pathetic.

I am considering taking 3 classes next semester as opposed to 2. Both of my classes were online this semester which has been both a blessing and a curse. They seem unnaturally easy for Graduate level course because all I have to do is read and post, read and post. But at the same time, there is no interaction with my classmates beyond my (required) b.s. reply to their posted discussions. I am truly enjoying the information, though. Many of my classmates are actual teachers, looking to specialize or just get that boost in salary for having a masters. It seems to me they must have a lot to offer and seeing/interacting with them in a classroom might make some of their teacher-ness rub off on me. Yes, I said teacher-ness and I was an English major, deal with it.

My most recent assignment required an in-depth study of an early childhood program that has proven successful. I chose "Virtual Pre-K". It's a fantastic program designed to foster school, home and community involvement. It suggests at-home and out and about activities that families can do together. It is currently only available in limited areas, but I think the concepts can be taken anywhere. It encourages activities such as taking a child to the laundromat or the docotr's office to display roles and responsibilities at home and in society in action. Anyway, the information felt valuable, so the class must be doing something good - online or not.

As the semester nears its end, my final assignments are scary research papers. Should be my forte, but my procrastination skills just might thwart attempts at a good effort. So why would I be considering 3 classes? Two of them would be honest-to-goodness classes with meeting times and a lecture hall. One is required and the others seem really interesting. "Guiding and Facilitating Social Competency" and "Communicative Arts in Early Childhood Education", sounds riveting. No, really, I'm excited for these classes.

The only problem with 3 classes is that I am unaccustomed to spreading myself so thin. Hopefully by next semester I will be subsititute teaching in addition to working with extended-day. Work + school + boyfriend + life in general, can I do it? Here's hoping. It's been quite awhile since I juggled full-time schooling with the rest of my life.

Pleased and disappointed

2008-11-04T23:29:00.004-06:00

Phantom of the Opera - Everything I wished it would be, and so much more!

Electoral Results - Please don't let amendement 2 pass, Florida. Please. We all deserve the right to marry, no matter who it is.

Focus, Focus, Focus

2008-11-03T20:25:00.003-06:00

I have a tall order in front of me in terms of what needs to get done, t-o-d-a-y. Here is how that plan flew right out the window...

Item 1: Wake up by 9:30 - Failed miserably and slept in until 11:00am.
Item 2: Workout - did half the elliptical time I usually do, but then did ab/arm work at home to make up for it.
Item 3: Go to work, be patient and helpful - check!
Item 4: Come home from work and get straight to work on assignment that's due by midnight - Epic failure, took a nap after eating a bowl of ice cream.
Item 5: Make dinner, bring it to the theater and have a nice, healthy meal with Ryan - Colossal failure, ate General Tso's chicken and noodles, but only half so as not to consume 1500 calories in one sitting
Item 6: Clean the apartment after dinner to avoid severe embarrassment when guests arrive tomorrow - can't clean until Item 4 is complete
Item 7: Get to be early enough to try again tomorrow - pending Items 4 and 6

Oy.

No bedtime, no alarm clocks

2008-11-02T18:25:00.006-06:00

Since we have moved here, I have gotten out of control with my sleep schedule. For a couple of weeks, I had things under control, not going to bed too late and not sleeping in like a lazy kid. Lately though, I go to bed anywhere between 11:00pm and 4:00am. Last night was one of those super late nights which led to sleeping in until noon.

I tried to go to sleep at midnight with big dreams of getting up around 9 and hitting the gym. I was even in bed by 11:30. The problem was that after dinner Ryan and I stopped by Starbucks where I specifically said I wanted a DECAF Pumpkin Spice latte. Around 2:30am when I realized my brain was still not shutting down, I was cursing the barista for screwing it up! I was still wide awake at 3:15 when Ryan came home. He made it less of a predicament by setting up one of our new favorite board games "Ticket to Ride". It is a very simple and quick game, but very entertaining. After kicking his butt twice in a row, we tried the whole "going to sleep" thing again. At. four. thirty. AM. and that's after we turned the clocks for daylight saving time people.

I am surprisingly not tired though and my brain hasn't felt as sluggish as I hurry through the 3 days of "homework is due by midnight"! I just prefer my caffeine in the morning.

In other news, November is NaBloPoMo. I have not chosen to officially participate, but I certainly enjoy the daily posts of those who do! I am not nearly as prolific as many, nor is my life as interesting. Good luck to those crazy bloggers who are going for it though!

Recipe for disaster

2008-11-01T00:42:00.008-05:00

The other day, I was looking through the pantry to see what types of stuff we had on hand. For some reason or another we have accumulated a lot of ingredients for a variety of things, not many of which can be combined together for something tasty. What is "cream of tartar"anyway? And how did we end up with 3 things of cinnamon spices or 3 things of lemon pepper? Ryan doesn't even like lemon-flavored foods. What on earth will we do with a pound of corn starch or 48 ounces of canola oil? We even have rice vinegar in case we ever want to make sticky rice for sushi. Yeah. Right. Like that's going to happen anytime soon!

I started reading through the labels, checking for expiration dates and maybe a hint as to what I could do with them. Some of these random ingredients have recipes on the back. Also, somewhere in my reading I learned that corn starch can sometimes be used in place of flour. On the back of the box of the spare vanilla extract (yes, we have 2 little bottles for some unknown reason), there was a recipe for sugar cookies.

As I read the ingredients, I realized we had everything but the butter and baking soda. So, industrious little me went to Publix, acquired the missing ingredients, enlisted Ryan's help and set to baking. We replaced 2 1/3 cups of flour with a little over 1 cup of corn starch, mixed all the other ingredients together as directed, placed the mix into the fridge, waited 2 hours for the dough to firm and then got it ready for the oven. The timer was set for 10 minutes and we waited impatiently, anxiously awaiting our sure-to-be-delicious sugar cookies. What we found when the timer went off and opened the stove was pure disaster:
That looks nothing like delicious, fresh baked sugar cookies! Apparently, I cannot be trusted in the kitchen. Unfortunately for Ryan, I also cannot stay away from baking endeavors.

Needless to say our carmelized sugar and slowly burning batter set off the fire alarm:
Turns out, you can only replace flour with corn starch when you are using it to thicken sauces and gravies. Hence the overflowing sugar gobs and fire alarm. And to make things even more entertaining, I later found a HUGE-MONGOUS box of baking soda.

Silver lining? The stove received a very thorough cleaning. We finished one bottle of vanilla extract and half the container of cream of tartar, though I am still not sure what it does.

We tried again today and the results were decidedly better:

Next week, we're going to try making pecan pie...

Randomness

2008-10-28T21:17:00.005-05:00

I have to say it: I love my job. It is challenging every day to keep my patience and maintain some semblance of sanity amidst the sea of 100+ children for 3 hours a day Monday through Friday, but somehow it fits me well. Of course, I am only in my 4th week, so things are still new and different, yet the fact that every day is somewhat different from the day before makes me think that it won't get old super fast.

Unfortunately, the school is undergoing construction, which means there is no playground accessible. This seems tragically unfair because what school day is complete without expending a little bit of energy on the swingset or the monkey bars? Enter the challenging aspect of my job: No outdoor playtime = cabin-fever Pre-k thru 5th graders. Eek! It's also a shame because the weather has taken a turn for the lovely here in Florida these last couple of days. A beautiful cold front has brought bright, sunshiny days, a cool breeze and a cool temperature of 65-70 degress. It would be great to play outside in this weather!

Fall is my favorite season, hands down. Hot chocolate, warm, fuzzy slippers, hoodies - who doesn't look good in one? The always-funny trick of placing icy cold fingers on your beloved's back is also a perk of fall.

And now, here is a bug:

We found this big guy by the mail boxes the other day. Also in the picture is Ryan's lovely hand as a size comparison. If you can, click on the picture and check out the intricate details of the moth's wings. It was really incredible.

Thank you. Goodnight.

2008-10-13T20:48:00.006-05:00

Wahooo! I finished my homework and turned in my assignments on time!

In other news, I am utterly exhausted. Last night I was up until the wee hours of the morning, tossing and turning. Mostly, I was just stuck inside my own head, worrying. Apparently for me, the terrorists aren't foreigners threatening the safety of our nation, but locals who seem not to care about people in general. I received an email the other day from UCF - one of those general letters to students about safety. It spoke of an armed robbery that happened last week, not 10 miles away from where I live. 2 men held another man at gun point, forced him to drive to an atm, withdraw money and then drop them off at another point. He only received a sharp blow to the head when the robbers first got to him, but the stress of the situation must have been through the roof! Of course, there will be violence wherever I choose to live, it is inescapable. But sometimes, the fear of that type of situation, especially so close to home (literally), can really shake my world.

Ryan's suggestion is to "just think about something else". Easier said than done my friend, easier said than done. My efforts to think of something else had me watching a show about "Amazing Cakes" at 4am. Clearly, that is not conducive to a good night's sleep.

Now let's see...

2008-10-12T17:43:00.003-05:00

venti coffee - check
homework - check
books - check
motivation - missing, last seen before the cruise. If anyone has any information regarding its whereabouts, please contact me immediately.

I an no longer worhtless!

2008-10-07T17:33:00.002-05:00

Ladies and gentleman, I finally have a job. I got a message from Seminole County Public Schools while I was on the cruise. We got in touch today and she said I can start today if I wanted to. I am officially an extended-day care "Child Care Provider". Holla.

My first day was interesting. There were about 100 or so kids and 6 adults. Some of the women working there were kind of terrifying, think tall, large women shouting at children to sit down and be quiet for the first 20 minutes. I chose a more quiet, and somewhat more effective method of pacing the tables and asking them to quiet down. I'm not sure that I would be happy with my kid getting screamed at if I were a parent. I think in some ways it was necessary to get control over the large group of children, but the shouting was a bit excessive.

It'll be good experience. We spend about an hour helping the kids with their homework by age group and then playing games and doing small activities. I was assigned to work with the 2nd graders which couldn't have been more perfect for me. I'm trying to learn as much as I can about that particular age group, so going over their work and looking at the activities/homework helps me see what level they're working on.

Everyone I work with seems friendly and the kids, though rambunctious, seem manageable. I am so thankful to be employed! It has really eased my mind.

Welcome Home!

2008-10-04T19:01:00.006-05:00

We're back! We had a fantastic time sailing the Caribbean, visiting Key West, Cozumel and Belize. The food was delicious and the company was even better. Dinnertime was everyone's favorite part of the day. What other time will you have 2 people serving you anything you ask for? Guilly and Bahadir a.k.a. John Travolta always remembered our drinks, Mike's allergies and they were always so friendly! The weather was absolutely gorgeous. There were a couple of days on the boat where we could really feel the waves, but for the most part it was smooth sailing.

Some nights after dinner, Ryan and I played Scrabble. One day, Ryan, his mom and I played Monopoly. Ryan beat us handily, though he hit some hard times with taxes on his plethora of hotels and houses.

We went on a cave tubing excursion in Belize. There was a 35 minute hike down to the river, followed by a slow ride through a couple of caves. We made a human chain on our tubes and used our headlights to see through the dark caves. I was kind of creeped out by the darkness and the bats nestled above us. It was an interesting experience. The water wasn't terribly cold, except when it dripped down on us from above which added to the creepiness.

Anywya, we had a great time and here are the pictures to prove it:

Me and Ryan in the Solarium.

The first day we had lunch in the Windjammer Cafe.

Ryan's mom won the first night's raffle! A huge bottle of rum.

The nightly shots with special shot glasses. There was a different color for every night. Nina's shot glass had pineapple juice and cranberry juice. Mine was something way too strong for my taste. Ryan downed it for me.

Here we are on formal night.

Now it's back to the every day life in Florida for all of us. We will definitely have to plan another trip soon!

Farewell!

2008-09-29T08:09:00.003-05:00

Home for the next week. Bon voyage!

Fall in love

2008-09-25T10:17:00.008-05:00

Today is me and Ryan's 4 year anniversary! After all these years together, it still melts my heart to look into his eyes and see how much he loves me. We had a spectacular day just hanging out together.

We started a tradition of going to Stonewood Grill and Tavern for our anniversary dinners every year. We always order basically the same thing, he gets a steak, I get the porkchops and then I'm always jealous of his steak. You'd think I would learn to just order the steak, but not yet. I ordered the chops again this year and envied his steak the whole time. And why doesn't Stonewood have regular, good ol' fashioned broccoli? They have some weird relative of broccoli which is nowhere near tasting good. I'm just saying.

This is us on our 1 year anniversary:

2 years together:

We didn't have pictures from the actual day in 2007, so here's a picture of us on our first cruise. We were, together, a full 42 pounds heavier! 3 years:

For our anniversary last night, I made a second attempt at baking. I chose to use a metal pan instead of a glass one as a precautionary move. This time the cake actually made it into the oven. See?

And finally, here we are with our lovely cake. Strawberry supreme with butter creme icing. The lettering is supposed to be red, but apprently it takes a million drops of red food coloring to make icing the red I wanted. I settled for that shade of pink.
On a side note, whenever I make a card or anything artsy for our anniversary, I always spell "anniversary" wrong. I spelled it wrong on the cake this time...I shouldn't have been an English major.

Anyway, we are happily in love.

disaster in the kitchen

2008-09-23T17:09:00.005-05:00

I've never exactly been a great cook. I put together very simple meals for Ryan and I, not venturing too far out in recipes. I frequently miss an ingredient there, burn something a little here, just little things that don't exactly ruin a meal, but don't make them gourmet either.
Today, I was making a blueberry bread out of the mix instead of the run of the mill muffins. I was even going to try a new glaze to go over it. It was going to be so tasty and I was very excited.
Ryan was standing behind me washing the dishes. I had used pretty much all of the very limited counterspace we have to work on the bread. The oven was preheating and I was trying to get at a piece of tape. The box for the muffin mix was taped close at some point, the tape landed on the counter and then got stuck to the baking dish. And then the whole glass dish filled with blueberry goodness (which was completely ready to go in the oven) slipped out of my hands and shattered on the tile floor. My pants were covered in blueberry goo and there was glass and the rest of the mix everywhere. All I could do was stand there and stare at the mess. All hopes of a new vanilla glaze atop a fresh take on blueberry muffins were out the window. I can't remember a time when I have broken a dish like that. It was my mom's loaf baking dish, too. I've had it for years, but somehow she can always walk into my kitchen and point out what used to belong to her.
Anyway, we cleaned up the mess and headed to Publix because I was still craving something sweet. We ended up with a slice of key lime pie, a boston creme something and buy one get one free cake mixes. In the next couple of days, I will try the whole baking thing again. Strawberry supreme cake with a light vanilla glaze sounds scrumptious. We have family coming in on Sunday night, so we can all take off for the cruise together on Monday. They can help us eat the yumminess if it doesn't land on the floor.

I am the QUEEN of homework and job applications

2008-09-08T21:44:00.004-05:00

I have never in my life been such a good student. I created an organized outline of all of the things that I need to do just this week for school. There is so much to do! It was all sitting in the back of mind like a living, breathing blob resting on my brain. I had to get it out, hence the organized outline where I could see it broken down by day and not feel so bogged down. I actually got ahead of schedule yesterday, which prompted serious slacking off tonight. Other areas of slacking off include working out and charging my phone (::goes to plug in phone to end the disruptive beep-beep of said dying phone::).

I filled out several applications today. I have my stats memorized so throroughly I could read them to you in my sleep. Though I am slightly stressed about the job situation, I somehow feel like it will really all work out in the end. At least my homework is benefiting from all the free time lately.

In better news, we leave for the cruise in 21 days. My life can't be that hard, right?

One Month

2008-09-03T19:43:00.004-05:00

I have been unemployed for one full month as of yesterday. I think I am going to really lose my mind pretty soon. I have been working on keeping some sort of structure to my days; trying not to go to bed too late or sleep in too much. I've gotten into a good rhythm of getting up early-ish every morning, working out every other day or so. The apartment is looking cleaner than any apartment I've ever called home.

School started last week (thank goodness). I am still anxiously awaiting a book in the mail. I have a lot of reading to do once that gets here. I'm not usually an over-the-top kind of student. I do what I need to do to get a decent grade, but I think the topics are increasingly more interesting this time around. The classes I'm taking are semi-overlapping one another which is helpful and confusing when I'm doing short anwer quizzes. It's all about how children perceive their surroundings, how it influences them, how researchers study child behaviors in certain situations and who plays a role in a child's development. For some that may be boring, for me it is very interesting. I wanted to say it's fascinating, but I think that would put me in the "big dork" group for being so interested in school. Except that I do find it fascinating. Oh well. Big dork it is.

I had a job interview last week. I haven't heard from the guy, so I'm thinking I haven't been chosen. I am currently going through the application process to become an extended-day care assistant. At least that would put me a classroom or at least in charge of a group of little people. Eventually, things will come together for me to start substitute teaching. I am anxious to see what it's like to stand in front of a group of children, without the help of a teacher who actually knows what he or she is doing. Anyway, I need a job and I need it soon.

Coloring book anyone?

2008-08-31T21:03:00.002-05:00

When I was a kid, I loved my crayons. I hated when Nina would break them or lose them. My favorite color was cerulean. Do you think you know your crayons?

http://www.crayola.com/promos/64boxBirthday/colorQuizzer.cfm

There are some new colors that I couldn't identify. Those kids choice colors aren't named as well as good ol' Granny Smith Apple or Robin's Egg Blue. What kind of color is "Best friends"? Seriously? Good luck.

back and back again

2008-08-26T18:45:00.003-05:00

I'm back from my first vacation and I'm back in school, all on the same day.

My family and I safely returned from our cruise yesterday afternoon. We took a 3-day adventure to the Bahamas in lieu of our usual 2 week cross country driving trip. We simply could not find 2 consecutive weeks for all of us to get together. So, we opted for a short trip. The goal was to bring us all together and we accomplished just that. I must say, I had a fantastic time. We all got along really well. My parents loved it! The food, the activities, the relaxtion -- it was all top notch!

The first day we were in Nassau. We did a segway excursion for about 2.5 hours. Nina's face in all of the pictures was sheer terror. It was all about balance and trusting the segway which Nina could not seem to grasp all at once. She said she had fun, but was just a bit nervous. Understandable. My sister-in-law (poor girl will never live it down) crashed her speeding segway into a flag pole and threw herself off. It took her awhile to feel steady on her feet again, but she was alright. All in all we had a blast. Pictures to follow once they've all been compiled.

The second day we walked around the beaches of Great Stirrup Cay. We played around on kayaks and did a little shopping at the market. It started to rain halfway through the day, but by that time we had had our fill and were ready to head back to the boat anyway.

Tropical storm Fay did little more than keep us cooled off throughout the whole trip. It was rainy, but not stormy, wet but not unbearable. Whenever the sun would beat down on us, the clouds would roll in and cool everything off. The rain never got in the way of anything we wanted to do and we couldn't have asked for better conditions. We all want to do it again next year and that's more than I can say for the usual driving trip. I am so thankful to my parents for working so hard to get us together every year, no matter what it takes. I took it for granted growing up. Now, I can see why it's so important. Every trip creates a cache of memories that will keep us together in the years to come.

Monday was the first day of school. It's weird to be enrolled in school again, after feeling so free when I finished the first time. I am looking forward to being a student again. I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm already working out how I'm going to get a good amount of studying time into my life combined with work, family, friends and me time.

Things are starting to line up neatly. It hasn't been easy getting to this point; patience and Ryan's help got me through.

P.S. On the drive to the cruise port, I finally had the opportunity to talk to my family about what happened with my aunt. My mother was furious that my aunt confronted me the way she did. My dad said that he never cried over it as my aunt claimed he did. They are in no way devestated by the way I live my life. My aunt had not even talked to my parents before talking to me, so there was no way for her to know what they were thinking or feeling about it all. They all (brother, sister, mom and pop), in their own way, told me that they loved me and that they know who I am and are proud of me as I am. I couldn't be any more thankful for my family's support.

and another thing...

2008-08-16T23:54:00.002-05:00

I tried very hard to hold in my thoughts to spare you all the long and boring rant of ideas that have been scrolling through my head for the past 4 days. But this I could not hold in.

I came from a Catholic home. I once held true to those values that my aunt tried to impress upon me. I did once believe that it was very important to get married before living with a man, before having sex, before having babies. I didn't believe in birth control and I whole-heartedly believed that my salvation was based on living without sin and following the Bible. Living with Ryan has not torn all hope of religion and salvation from my mind and heart. I still believe that spirituality is important, but look more closely at the essence of what values are meaningful to me.

I once belonged to Gator Christian Life - GCL - and felt like I had found lasting friendship and a wholesome faith. I am a believer and yet I still have questions about faith and all that it entails. During my time with GCL, I attended several bridal showers. The focus of these bridal showers seemed to be "you're getting married so you can have sex!" They seemed to have lost all sense of what it means to be married, believing that being marriage just unlocked the box of forbidden fun. No one talked about having a partner for life or celebrating the start of a new journey with someone that you love. I realize that all sounds idyllic and cheesy, but through watching them do it the "holy and sinless" way took away some of the wedding glory.

I left GCL not too long after I joined. I did not leave my faith, however. Living with Ryan has opened me up to see the important things that build the foundation for a significant relationship. I haven't made the choices I made to disappoint my family and I can understand why my deviation from the religious norm has caused them worry. What choices I've made have been to look seriously into what I want my future to look like and to have actual experience to base future decisions.

le sigh.

2008-08-16T20:42:00.004-05:00

This past week, we had family from Canada come to visit. Since it is so cold up there, they are always excited to come to Florida once every 2 years or so. They are from my dad's side of the family; his cousin, Auntie Baby, her husband Uncle Rodel and their kids, Leyna, Larissa, and Laramie (ages 25, 26, and 28). They are particularly religious, well beyond the super-Christians group and into the super-Catholic category. For that reason, I was very adamant not to bring up the fact that I live with Ryan.

I am not sure who told or how/why it came about, but they found out somehow. I went to visit them at their hotel late on the one night they were in town. The girls and I, plus Mike and Nina talked for hours beside the pool. At the very end of the night when we were saying bye, my aunt pulled me aside and lectured me at 2:30am about how it is a sin to live with my boyfriend. She didn't just stop there, oh no, like every "good Catholic" she laid on the guilt. She basically said that my family was devestated about my living situation and that just because I think I'm so in love doesn't mean it's going to last forever. She said my parents were hurt that I had left home and that my cousins who "used to look up to me" are no longer sure of my character. She said that I am still a nice girl, but that I need to change my life. Her solution to the "problem" was to encourage Ryan to marry me, as if I am some marred person that no one else will accept. I told her I feel comfortable with the decision to move in with Ryan and that I do not feel I am doing anything wrong. I do not feel that other people's opinions of my "situation" should have any affect on how I live my life. At the end, I was trying to get away from her as she pulled me gently back by the arm and said she hoped she hadn't offended me. The conversation had brought me to tears and I walked away from her quickly without saying goodbye to the others.

She offended me on a grand scale.

I am who I am and will not make apologies for it. For days, her words tore my heart apart. I felt the need to justify my choices, to confront her and tell her to get to know me before judging. That will not change her opinion or her judgement. This is something between Ryan and I and her opinion matters not.

Cabin Fever

2008-08-12T09:41:00.004-05:00

I officially don't know what to do with myself. There are clearly things I could be doing (writing thank you notes, cleaning, unpacking, working out...) It has been 10 full days for me in this place. My theory is, I haven't yet come to appreciate it the way a working person might appreciate their home. I haven't yet had to be some place else that would make me want to be home. Every outing with Ryan is a mini-escape. Poor boy, he comes home to me ready to run out the door when all he really wants to do is sit down to paint or go on the computer. We've seen 2 movies, Batman: The Dark Knight (excellent movie) and Pineapple Express (very entertaining), gone on many, many errands, even taking out the trash is like an outing since the distant trash compactor is such a trek.

We have finally gotten the majority of boxes out of the apartment, there are 2 boxes left. They sit in the bedroom mocking me. Today they will meet their death! Other than that, there is just a lot of crap lying around without homes. We took 3 boxes and a couple of bags to Goodwill yesterday. It felt good to be rid of so much stuff.

I still haven't found a job, though I am still hopeful. This stay-at-home-mom thing works better when you have a kid. As I stand now, I am a stay-at-home-nothing. Exciting. I think I'm going to take my exciting self to the pool now. Fortunately, I found my headphones the other day. Hello, Ipod.

goodbye.

Risk by candlelight

2008-08-08T21:25:00.004-05:00

A lightning storm knocked out our power. Under normal situations, it would feel like an inconvenience. Tonight, however, we whipped out some candles and played Risk by candlelight. The power came back about half-way through the game, but we decided it was quite fun to play by candlelight. We singed a few arm hairs and Ryan handily wiped me off the board, but it was definitely a fun night.

boxes, boxes and more boxes...

2008-08-05T19:40:00.008-05:00

I have left the colossal task of unpacking and decided to slack off. Job hunting was today, cross your fingers that one of the applications goes through successfully!

Ikea shopping also happened today. For those of you who don't know, my wonderful co-workers (the ones that I liked) all pooled together and gave me a very, very generous gift card to IKEA as a farewell present. I have never felt so grateful and loved at that place, but on my last day there they made it all worth it.

Here are some of my purchases:
Ignore the state of unpacking as seen in the mirror, it's the flowers artfully placed on the mirror. I love them! The double mirrors are a bit intense in the small room, so I made them a little snazzier with the flowers.

My other purchase today was:

This is a fairly large canvas wall art thing. I have been eyeing it for months and it went on sale (twice). It was a steal at $30, that's $50 off regular price!
I picked up a few other things, but those are my favorites. Once we have confirmation that we are or are not moving to Seattle, I will move forward with decorating and nesting. For now, we are saving boxes and making the living space, well, live-able.

Welcome to Oviedo

2008-07-29T09:28:00.002-05:00

Ryan and I spent our first night in our new apartment on Saturday night. I only got to spend one night there b/c I had to trek back to Gainesville for one last week of work.

We didn't get all of our deposit back from the old aparmtent. I am bitterly sad about that b/c my mom, Ryan and I put our blood, sweat and tears into cleaning that place. I touched a toilet in places I've never wanted to even look at. Toilets are so not my job! I re-caulked 2 bathtubs and mopped floors on my hands and knees. Ryan worked his cleaning magic on 2 of the toilets. In short, there was a whole lote of work that went into that place. I won't say that the apt. complex manager was unfair. I definitely saw the spots that she was saying were dirty, but it was heartbreaking to see things that we could have taken care of if the move had gone down more smoothly. The good news is, we will get at least some of the money back and the whole mess is over now.

I'm camping out in my friend's living room for the week while Ryan lives by himself in our cute little apartment. We are far from unpacked, but already I am in love with the place. Stoneridge was a place to live, we kept our stuff there and it worked for what we needed. The new place in Oviedo is so adorable, so comfortable, and so much better fitted to us. It is strange to think that I am no longer a Gainesville resident. I've been whining forever about how I want to get out and suddenly I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. There is a mountain of boxes to climb through before I'm on the other side, but nonetheless, my new life has already begun.

My plans for Monday are to lay out in the sun beside the pool (sans 20 pounds). I have not yet had a chance to enjoy my new bathing suit. It has been a very long time since I've not had a job and no major responsibilities and I'm looking forward to relaxing for a day. Of course, bright and early on Tuesday morning, I will begin the serious job hunt. I've been looking online and applying for school jobs, but it will be much easier when I am actually in town.

And now I leave you with some tips for moving: bring toilet paper to the new place, leave some nail polish where it is easily found (your toes will thank you later), and remember to thank your parents for thinking to cook you food for the moving days.

The Wandering Game

2008-07-20T20:21:00.004-05:00

Lately Ryan and I have been playing what I like to call the "Wandering Game". You get a box all ready for packing, put the few main things in that you set up the box for in the first place, and then you spend the next 15 minutes wandering around the apartment finding things to fill the rest of the box up. Each night usually ends with one box that isn't quite full. This late in the game though, it gets harder and harder to find things to fill boxes.

The other game we play is to put stuff out beside the dumpster and then see how quickly it disappears. It's dumpster diving season in Gainesville. I always thought that people could be so wasteful, but then I realized that the community is completely aware of the massive moving of apartments that goes on every July. People drive around with trailers, truck or SUV's from one dumpster to the next. It's worked out really well for Ryan and I to have the dumpster right outside our back door. When we first moved in, there was a blue rocking chair by the dumpster. I swiped it in the hopes of restoring it. It ended up in a closet for the entire 2 years that we lived here. It went back out to the dumpster and was gone in less than an hour.

We have gotten rid of so much stuff. I'm anxious to see how all the rest of our stuff will fit into a much smaller place. I'm hopeful that we will be approved for the new apartment early in the week. Tomorrow is Monday again, it is the start of my last two weeks. I can't tell you how excited I am to be moving on!

Maybe tonight I will finish that box in the kitchen...

22 days!

2008-07-05T22:01:00.004-05:00

On my iGoogle homepage (love it!), I have 2 countdowns. One counts down to the day that Ryan and I have to be out of our apartment and the other counts down the days until our 2nd cruise with my sister, Mike and Ryan's parents. In 1 hour, the countdown will tell me that there are only TWENTY-TWO days until move-out date and 85 days until cruising time. Now, normally this would be a post about how I don't know where I"m moving too so I'm really worried about not having a place to live, blah, blah, blah...In the past week, somehow I have come to peace with the idea that we don't know where we'll be in a month. How this was accomplished, I have no idea, but I'm enjoying the break from the constant worry.

Today, in light of having helped move my sister out of her apartment yesterday, I am more concerned with how we have to pack 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen into neat little, move-able boxes. Oy! Not only that, wherever we end up, the place will definitely be much smaller (i.e. 2 bedrooms or less). So, we're cleaning out the closets of clothes we don't wear, don't like or don't fit into. We're dumping dishes that are not whole and trinkets that are useless. All of the cleaning out has thus far lead us to several bags to salvation army and several more to the dumpster and, still, it looks like we are very much settled into this apartment. Ryan has been working for days on cleaning up his crafting area and I have been packing up all the little things and scrubbing and cleaning what can be cleaned. It's a big project and I'm curious to see how the final days of moving pan out.

We didn't do anything special for Fourth of July celebrating. Not to say that I don't appreciate what the holiday represents, but we all celebrate in our own ways. I spent the morning helping my dad and sister clean out some of her apartment. Then we (+ Ryan) all had lunch at Olive Garden. Afterward, Ryan and I spent the rest of the afternoon at home. It was a perfect day to be honest. I read on the futon will Ryan packed up his Warhammer loot. We cooked dinner together and went to bed happy. I couldn't have asked for a better start to a 3 day weekend.

Italian night

2008-06-27T06:53:00.003-05:00

For months some of the girls at work and I have been talking about getting together more often as a morale boost and a chance to get to know each other. Awhile ago, we all went out and saw Sex and the City together (free of charge thanks to my love!). Last night, Lisa hosted an Italian themed dinner. We had an Italian salad, smoked mozarella fonduta, pasta, lots of cheeses, red wine and a lot of laughter. We all decided to make something and bring it over. I made the smoked mozarella fonduta. True to my nature, I messed up the recipe a little bit and forgot one of the cheeses, but it still tasted delicious. There was also tomato/caper/other topped pasta, wine, salad and homemade tiramisu (soooo good).

Since I've not really had "girlfriends" since high school, I really didn't know what to expect from a group of 5 girls sitting around a coffee table, drinking wine. Little did I know, I was in for a fun night. We all come from such different places. There was Susan who tried to convince us she is from the ghetto of Durham, complete with only knowing how to "butt and grind" and being related to someone who got held up at gunpoint at the local grocery store. Then quiet Nora who dropped in a quick story every now and then, but seemed more content to sip her wine and laugh at the rest of us making fools of ourselves. Maggie the Polock put in her 2 cents with her bilingual abilities. And finally (but not the least), Lisa, our hostess. She always had a funny story up her sleeve - usually something about an awkward situation we can all relate to and how she elegantly (or embarassingly) maneuvered her way out of it.

It was definitely a fun evening. I had more cheese than I care to admit to eating, but it was worth it. Lisa's house was so lovely. It makes me wonder when I'll become a real adult, married with a nice house to nest in. I still feel like a college kid, renting and not knowing where I'll be for anything past the next year. But she had all these coordinated decorations and matching furniture; luxuries which I have yet to experience. I hope we do it again sometime soon, especially before Ryan and I move.

the best laid plans...

2008-06-26T06:54:00.002-05:00

Way, way, way back in January I made a few goals, some of which have actually been achieved. I have lost 16 pounds and counting. I took the GRE (gasp!) and did shockingly better than I thought I would (1180). Ryan and I finally decided to stop waiting on Privateer Press and moved on with our lives. We scoped out places to live in Orlando, after he finally decided on a theater to work out and picked an area that would be ideal for us to live. Then, I applied for UCF Graduate School to become a teacher, was accepted and registered for classes.

After months and months of agonizing and searching, complaining and despairing, it all seems to be coming together. Then we had to hit the breaks on our newly laid plans, to wait for one glitch. After July 11, we'll have a better idea of what will really come to fruition. I will not complain or despair this time. I'm getting really good at waiting, it's not any fun though.

GRE

2008-05-02T09:23:00.003-05:00

Last night I began my first real night of studying for the GRE. I am not very good at studying well ahead of time, preferring to procrastinate and cram last minute. However, after last night I can see that I have a long road ahead. While studying, I realized that it has been 6 full years since the last time I took a math class. It was Calculus 2, rather impressive for an English major.

I am completely ashamed of how poor my math skills have become. Square roots? Integers? Area of a triangle/rectangle/square, huh? I figure the English part will need some attention, obviously, but the Math part is going to be a real challenge.

In other news, I really want get a dog. On those stressful days at work or boring afternoons at home, it would be really relaxing and fun to go for a walk and just be happy as a puppy for a little while.

Oh yeah, and my job is still pure hell.

Patience - a virtue which I lack

2008-04-29T11:45:00.003-05:00

I am so tired of waiting. Seriously. Let's get this show on the road!

Priority 1: Privateer Press needs to make a decision.
P-2: I need to take the GRE.
P-3: Ryan and I need to decide what city we're going to live in.
P-4: I need to find a new job.
P-5: I need to go to grad school for Elementary Education.

All of those things are contingent upon priority #1!!!!!

One thing I will never understand

2008-04-22T08:00:00.003-05:00

Changing tastebuds: I've recently been experimenting with my "habit foods". By default, when I'm hungry and don't want to eat out, I eat cereal or chicken patties. For breakfast, I usually go for a bagel and cream cheese. Coffee is my main source of caffeine. Last week, I went for oatmeal, just to see if it's been "seven years" since my tastebuds decided they didn't like oatmeal. This week, I'm trying tea. So far, I've been successful in enjoying both of these things. Though, I'm still not a fan of lettuce on sandwiches or mayo in general or onions on anything.
When I'm hungry and I just have to go out to eat, I usually end up at a sushi place, Olive Garden or Sonny's. And when I go to those places I get either salmon or chicken and broccoli in some form. I've tried other meals to no avail. How do I know when it's been long enough to be able to enjoy something I never enjoyed previously?

That is all.

2nd grade

2008-04-15T16:21:00.004-05:00

Today, instead of the normal daily grind (secretary extraordinaire), I spent the day in Mrs. Oak's second grade classroom. I was the most enthusiastic and eager to learn temporary teacher's assistant there ever was! I patiently helped kids make puppets, repeated myself 30 times telling kids to sit down or help their neighbors, I led the line of 20 children to lunch and was at the end of the line running the kids in after reccess. I ate lunch in the teacher's lounge (ooooohhhh) and I helped monitor the children at a school assembly (aaaahhh).

My friend Rachel introduced me to her mom a couple of years ago and then suggested that I sit in on her classroom one day to see if I'd like being a teacher. Mrs. Oaks is very sweet and motivating. She helped answer my questions and calm most of my fears and/or nervousness I had about leading a classroom. Her curriculum, though mandated by Duval County, is presented creatively. The children admire and respect her.

There are parts of me that are still unsure about entering into an educational career and part of me that is ready to jump right in. Let's face it, I've been kicking the idea around since about a month after I graduated, but for some reason never made the decision to go for it. After wasting 2 years being a banker and a secretary, I think I may have finally found what I am truly interested in.

In other news, after hearing the devastating diagnosis from All Pro Imports that my car is worthless and will! die! very! soon! I took my car in for a second opinion at Jerry Bush Auto. I spent a fraction of the $10,000 worth of work that All Pro quoted and got everything necessary fixed with much friendlier service. The car makes NO SOUNDS!!! I'm in heaven! I can hear the radio without any extra rattles and creaks in the background. I can drive with the windows down and not be embarrassed to go over bumps! I'm somewhat broke with the still expensive cost of the repairs, but I don't have to buy a new car.
The stress of the last few days has melted considerably and I am once again hopeful and positive about the future.

a prayer

2008-04-08T10:28:00.006-05:00

Hello Lord,

It has been sometime since I have whole-heartedly, unblinkingly, without reservation given you all my thoughts, hopes, dreams and faith; and even longer still since I've felt the connection to you that once was in my heart. In the time that has passed, so much has happened that I should have turned to you for guidance and faith to get through.
Lately, I have felt more than a little lost. My life feels full of unknown variables and blurry next steps. There are things that I whole-heartedly desire and things that I whole-heartedly want to be free of once and for all. Please help me come back to you, so that I can remember what it feels like to have my life in turmoil, but my core beliefs unshakeable.

Amen.

Sara Groves always said it best.

"Hello Lord"

Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you

Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering

get this girl some alcohol!

2008-04-04T07:31:00.004-05:00

It has seriously been one hell of a week for me at work and at home. Monday was chaotic just because it was Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday, the department had a candidate visiting and I was in charge of his itinerary. I can never, ever keep up with where a candidate is at, not even in a perfect world! I spent those days in meetings and chasing after the candidate. Then Thursday I toiled painfully through a rather daunting task. It took me nearly the entire day to get through it and at 3:00 I completely pissed off the Chairman. Lovely. That day ended in some tears and frustration. I held it together the best I could and kept my head down until I waas free at 4:00.

It is now Friday. Thank you Jesus for getting me here today. I can't even begin to explain how mentally exhausted I am feeling this morning. A typical Friday consists of the bare minimum of work and a mindset of "let me just get through the day". This Friday, I am elbow deep in work that was neglected for the busyness of the past 4 days.

As far as I know, Ryan and I don't have any solid plans for the weekend and that is okay by me. If I spent the entire weekend on the couch playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl, taking naps and reading, I'd be happy as a pig in mud.

tuesday feels like monday feels like rain

2008-04-01T20:37:00.002-05:00

Me: Does anyone else feel like today has felt like a second Monday?
April: Yes! I can hardly stand one Monday, much less two!

About 2 Mondays a month, we have seriously hectic days, where it feels like someone turned the office upside down and shook it really hard before turning it rightside up again. Yesterday was one of those Mondays and today followed in its wake with just as much chaos. We had a faculty candidate coming to interview today. Like always, I arranged all of his travel, hotel and itinerary and crossed my fingers, praying that things would go as smoothly as possible. His flight got cancelled once, then delayed. His appointments all had to be rearranged. The entire office felt topsy-turvy, while I balanced his itinerary with the help of Nora and the rest of my job.

By the time I got home this afternoon, at nearly 6:00pm, I felt ragged. I'm afraid of what tomorrow holds, but I guess a fast-paced busy couple of days is better than endlessly, hopelessly slow days.

In other news, today is April 1. Ryan has officially turned in his application as of 3 days ago. I have this feeling like every day until we hear something, anything is going to be agonizingly painful. I've been thinking only positive thoughts about what could happen in the next month or so. It has been refreshing to think of something that I actually want to do whole-heartedly, rather than falling onto new places or hopes for lack of anything better to look forward to. Either way, July 28 is the last day in this apartment and we're off on a new adventure, maybe in Gainesvlle, maybe in Seattle or maybe in Orlando.

Happy Easter!

2008-03-22T22:13:00.002-05:00

Cake anyone?It isn't the prettiest duck-cake of all time, but I like it!

The Melting Pot

2008-03-20T08:02:00.003-05:00

Last night Ryan and I went to the Melting Pot with some friends. I've only ever done dessert there. We had never done the whole 4 course meal thing at this place before so we were all excited to see what it was all about.

It was nothing like the usual chain restaurants that we frequent, as in, the food was not cooked when it got to the table (and we're not talking uncooked the way sushi is uncooked!). The pot in the middle is where you put your skewered meat/fish choice in for a (random) amount of time.

Here we are with Liz and Anthony once our dinner was served. As you can see, there were about 30 different things to dip the food in. She named them all, but after she named the lobster tail and the shrimp, I was completely lost. Based on Anthony's reactions of "Hmmm, that's edible, not good but not bad either" and "Okay, that's gross", I stuck to the basic, cook the food until it isn't pink and eat it. Every item she set on the table had an explanation! " Cook this unknown meat for this long, cook that fish for that long. This sauce tastes like this and is good with that one. These take longer so throw them in early. Don't eat directly off your skewer. The spoon will get really hot" and so on. We felt like we needed little flags for each food and a timer. It was all very interesting and there was lots of laughter at our table. I'm not sure I would do it again, but it was definitely interesting to try it once.

Here's Ryan's tasty drink. Neat!
And of course, at the end of our 4-course meal came the DESSERT! Flambeed chocolate! There were strawberries, bananas, cheesecake, rice crispy treats, marshmallows, some cake thing and brownies. Obviously, we needed no assistance in naming these or timing how long to dip. The formula was simple: pick a dessert, drown it in milk chocolate mixed with Bailey's and try not to lose a single drop of goodness on the table or your shirt. If it lands on your chin, don't be wasteful!

Life does not get any better than a fabulous dinner loved ones!

thoughts

2008-03-17T08:46:00.006-05:00

Weekends are just never long enough. By the time I’ve caught up on as many sleeping hours as is possible without feeling too slothful, the weekend was halfway over. My alarm went off this morning and my first thought for the day was “Oh man, not Monday again.” I’m so positive in the morning it kills me! In an effort to start the day off on a better foot, I crawled back into bed after I was all ready for work and got my traditional extra snuggle (and snooze) before I battled the day.
Today is St. Patrick’s day! A bunch of people from work are planning to go to Beef O’Brady’s. I haven’t decided if this is a good idea or a very bad idea. I have zero intentions to drink, as I am on a bi-annual schedule for drinking; once for Rachel’s birthday every year and one other random time. I had the “one other random time” a couple of weeks ago and my stomach is still sadly remembering the vomitous affects. Considering its St. Patty’s day and my co-workers have chosen an Irish pub, I’m thinking it’s going to be a little crazy.
In other news, Ryan has been looking into a job on the other side of the country. Since I love to research trips and other cities, I have been scouring the internet for all things Washington. We played with the idea of moving to Seattle last year, but it sort of fizzled out when we realized how much would have to go into planning that kind of move. This time around, my search has been more comprehensive and now moving to Orlando just doesn’t seem as exciting as it once did. There’s an Ikea there, mountains, actual seasons, a different coast, and Seattle has become more environmentally conscious over the years. We’ve even talked about mini-vacays to Canada. I’ve never been to that side of Canada!

The trees in Florida just don't look this good.

We’ve spent weekends in Orlando more times than I can count. Though I still don’t know my way around per se, I already know what Orlando has to offer. I have loved every trip, but Seattle has an entirely different set of fun things to explore. Orlando may be the more responsible move, as it will cost considerably less to make that move, but in the long run, who cares if we spent a little extra on moving? It isn’t like that little bit extra is going to let me retire any earlier.

I think another alluring feature is city skylines. Yes, Orlando is a big city, but Seattle seems to be a taller city.

P.S. I found these pictures at Seattle Daily Photo.

FRIDAY!!!

2008-03-14T08:03:00.004-05:00

Good gosh it's finally Friday. This week I tried to bring a new attitude to work. It's helped me get through much better than I expected. The days have gone by surprisingly fast considering that it was a full 5 day week for once (I've been taking Fridays off for various reasons). I'm still not loving the job, but I'm getting through. We're halfway through March. It won't be long before Ryan and I go into full planning mode for what happens after July 28.

We had Panera for lunch today and I am absolutely stuffed. I didn't go to Panera for nearly 3 months and then I go twice in one week. When it rains, it pours, I guess. I don't have anything really interesting to say, just wanted to say something. That is all.

blue mondays

2008-03-10T10:41:00.003-05:00

Another 26 or so Mondays before this all ends. Another 26 or so Mondays of getting up and going to work after doing everything and anything fulfilling that I can possibly squeeze in before selling my soul again for the weekly grind. Working for the weekend. Gross.

140 days until my lease ends.
203 days before we depart for the cruise!
4 more hours before I get to go home again.
10 more lbs to lose before I'm anywhere close to feeling comfortable in my skin.

sigh.

2008-03-05T20:43:00.002-06:00

What if I just did exactly what I wanted to do? What if I just wasn’t afraid, wasn’t afraid of anything? That question feels so monumental, I think I’ll repeat. What if I just wasn’t afraid?

Nora convinced me to watch this show, “Quarterlife” which can be found here: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=159457533. I warn you, small circle of readers, if you are as easily sucked into the miserable lives of fake people as I am, then you will be very sucked into this show. It’s “shtick” is that you can catch an episode in just 15 short minutes. There’s this girl who pours her heart out to you in this very raw why. I love her because she’s unsure of herself. And this girl asks the question that I haven’t been brave enough to ask myself seriously. What if I just did exactly what I wanted to do and wasn’t afraid?

There are so many things that I am afraid of. And in true, jennstarme fashion, I give you people a list. A list of things I’m afraid of (other than the dark):

1.Failure
2.Being to poor to provide me and mine with the simple necessities of life (and some of the more complicated, more useless things in life)
3.Never finding the right career
4.Disappointing my family, my friends, the love of my life
5.Giving up the things I value in exchange for what I think people want me to be or to have
6.Being fat
7.Being alone
8.Having a boring life

My latest obsession is teaching. I’ve actually let the idea of quitting my job and becoming a substitute teacher. What would I do in the summertime, you ask? I don’t know.

I waver on quitting and letting it all go to hell or being responsible and saving up as much money as I can to make sure that when I do eventually move to Orlando, I'll have enough money to last while I find a job. We all know I'll do the saving money route, but damnit I'll be kicking and whining the whole way.

resolutions revisited.

2008-02-21T08:50:00.001-06:00

Always around the first week of the year, everyone talks about their New Year’s Resolutions. By the end of January, the resolutions are out of sight, out of mind. This post, I’m revisiting my resolutions/goals to see how I’ve been doing.

1. Catch up in scrapbooking: I have now scrapbooked through May of 2006. I got on a scrapbooking kick for about 2 weeks and trudged through 2005 and half of 2006.
2. Make the Australia scrapbook: Zero progress.
3. Drink more water. 4 out 7 days a week, I’m good. The other days are mediocre, but I have been making Ryan drink more water. Does that count?
4. Create a health and fitness plan that gradually builds: I spent January reasonably dedicated to one workout a week and no eating out. Then birthday and Valentine’s day madness came around and I fell off the wagon, hard. I’ve since reached an all time high in weight and then come back down off the edge of a tall cliff. I’m back on water and the treadmill.
5. Move to a new city: Orlando is looking more and more realistic.
6. Make new friends: I haven’t exactly made new friends, but I have been more active with current friends and people from work.
7. Build up my savings account: I mailed a check to my mom yesterday to be deposited in my new MM account. It has a higher interest rate. I’ve been much better about controlling the urge to eat out. I’ve cut back drastically on how often I run downstairs for a coffee or bagel. I bought creamer for when we make coffee in the office and buy regular coffee instead of the fancy stuff (twice as expensive). This has been my greatest success in terms of making new year’s resolutions.
8. Figure out my career choices: I have been switching back and forth between nursing and teaching for months now. Finally, I decided that, either way, I have to take the GRE. So I have books and notecards courtesy of Maggie and will be taking the test by the end of April.
9. Religion: Not sure where this is going yet.

As for number 8, the latest issue of Real Simple touches on our greatest decision-making problems. In this case, I have gone through every road block in deciding what career I want to pursue. I’ve waffled, procrastinated, polled people’s opinion, been over cautious, etc. I’ve now set a deadline to decide. April = GRE. June = application deadline. I will have a decision and I will pursue something. Not because of a last minute decision, but because putting it off will only keep me more miserable.

Lovely.

2008-02-14T07:49:00.003-06:00

Valentine’s Day is my second favorite holiday (Christmas is the first, of course). I love giving people chocolate and I loooooove flowers! Candy hearts are yummy (almost yummier than candy corn). Everyone is super nice to each other. It’s during the cold season, even in Florida. It’s just a lovely holiday.

Ryan and I went out to dinner on Tuesday to celebrate because Valentine’s Day is soo busy and because he’s working tonight (lame). He got me 2 of my favorite movies, the Little Mermaid and Bridget Jones’ Diary, for my birthday. Then, he got me a spa gift certificate for Valentine’s Day! Perfect. I got him a date in a box, dinner gift card for Sonny’s, dessert gift card for Coldstone, a movie – The Departed – and a snack for the movie, raisonettes. The candy is already gone, but the date night is yet to be had. He always asks me to go to Sonny’s, but I’m not quite as enthusiastic about it as he is, so I figure now we can definitely go to Sonny’s just for him.

I must say, I love the man with all of my heart! He got a haircut, trimmed his beard and shaved for our special night out. We got all dressed up and went to Bonefish Grill. He looked so handsome I could hardly take my eyes off of him! About 2 weeks ago, though, he made it painfully obvious that there was some sort of gift in the apartment that he was hiding from me. When I asked him what it was or when I’d get it, he just kept saying “I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Well, the most torturous thing you can do to me is tell me I have a surprise but not give it to me. Sooooo, last night he said I wouldn’t get to have it this mysterious thing until we moved to Orlando! That’s not until the END OF JULY! Are you kidding me?! I am not that patient! I can’t stand it! I want to tear the apartment up in search of this “perfect hiding space” of his. I like surprises, but geez, couldn’t he have kept the secret until closer to the time he was planning on giving it to me?! Oy. My life is very hard.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE! I hope your day is filled with love and romance.

this is for all the parents out there...

2008-02-04T09:12:00.000-06:00

http://yourwords.typepad.com/adventures_in_chaos/2008/02/what-youre-real.html

the good with the bad

2008-02-02T15:35:00.000-06:00

The judge had no mercy. Not only did I have to pay for the full ticket, but I was assigned to take the class to avoid any points. I was a basket case in front of the judge, a nervous mess. It is over, however. After putting myself under restriction for the last month, the cost of the ticket and the class have not at all affected my bank account. Ryan and I avoided eating out as much as possible. We have not been to Papa John's in over a month now and I did not go to Panera or Moe's at all. There were times when we got subs or sushi and 2 trips to Olive Garden. However, Ryan paid for a couple and I had a gift card for OG. I paid for a couple, but eating out twice is much improved. The fact that I can count the number of times we "slipped" is a good thing in and of itself.
All in all, it was an expensive lesson. My self discipline has paid for my moment of irresponsible driving. I'm rather proud of myself for not allowing myself to stop the growth of my savings account for a careless mistake. We are hoping to continue the trend of not eating out. With the exception of my birthday/Valentine's Day dinner and an occassional bagel, we will continue to avoid Moe's, Panera, Papa John's and Arby's. We are also meeting my brother and sister in Orlando next Friday for a double birthday celebration. We're all going to a late lunch and then to Islands of Adventure for the evening.
February is going to be a good month, especially since I don't have the ticket looming over my head anymore.

tell it to the judge

2008-01-31T10:39:00.000-06:00

This afternoon, I am going to stand in front of the judge and beg him/her to cut me some slack. I'm basically going to say that I have always taken pride in my clean record, I don't make a ton of money and I would really appreciate it if the judge could reduce the cost of my ticket and not assign points. I have the little paragraph written out. I'm not planning to "plead my case" word for word off the paper, but I will probably use it a crutch to get me through it.

I have never actually gone to court for anything, being the goody two-shoes that I am. I fully regret going the court route and wish that I had just paid the stupid thing. It will definitely be an interesting experience. This ordeal has been on my mind since the day I got the ticket. I'm sure my co-workers would love for me to just get it over with. Oy.

Everything but work

2008-01-20T13:41:00.000-06:00

I must make an effort to focus on the other side of my life, the side that has nothing to do with the day-to-day grind that comes with being a sr. secretary extraordinaire. My life is so much more than just work; I scrapbook, pretend to sew, I love to read, I'm in a wonderful relationship, good friends and I am trying to be healthier and more active.
During the menstrual days, I was dumb enough to weigh myself almost daily. I reached peaks that nearly brought me to tears! However, I kept it together long enough to watch what foods and drinks went into my mouth, not counting the comfort foods that got me through Friday, and weighed myself post-period. I have successfully backed off those horrible 4 pounds, to a more reasonable number that is basically right where I started.
Nora and I went for a 30 minute walk on Monday and then a 45 minute step-aerobic class. The step class left me sore and walking funny for a few days. I find myself looking in the mirror at my calves wondering if they are any trimmer for my efforts. I’m thinking no.
I have spent the last day and half being active, mostly through chores around the apartment and spending time with my love. Today, I have the day to myself so I’ve gotten back on the sewing wagon. Projects are small and easy to handle, yet help me get more experience in the measuring, cutting and prepping stages.
My scrapbook is now caught up through 2005 and the first 2006 pages are in progress. Once the pictures came in the mail my book doubled in size. I’m looking forward to getting into 2006. There was a trip to the Keys, family vacation, a trip to the Philippines, football games, Ryan and Jenn time and Nina and my graduation.
The apartment is looking better and better. Ryan and I have been fairly careful about keeping it presentable yet live-able. Occasionally the dishes pile up or the laundry is strewn all over chairs and the floor, but in general, with little effort, the place is guest friendly. We have been okay about my eating out restrictions. I haven’t gone to get a bagel and coffee at work at all. I have not ordered Papa John’s, nor gone to Panera. I ate once at Olive Garden, but used a gift card. We have gone to get sushi twice, but split the bill so as not to have one person spending too much money. My finances are stable and that horrible speeding ticket will soon be a thing of the past. The court date is the 31st, eleven days away. I don’t know what to expect in the least. I almost wish that I had just paid the ticket and moved on.
January is dragging. I have a lot to look forward to in February. Lots of birthdays, a trip to Orlando and no more worrying about being on food/money restriction. Hurry up February!

whining.

2008-01-17T13:33:00.001-06:00

I have definitely been keeping to my “more social” goal. I’ve been to several game nights, a workout class, a Kevorkian lecture and movie nights. Maybe these things aren’t the coolest events or the hippest socials, but definitely more getting outing of the apartment. The downside is that the more I go out, the more difficult it is for me to come to my job. It isn’t that I’m too tired or anything, it’s just the more fun I have the more time I want to spend having fun instead of being miserable at work. It’s the same story all of the time: I am not happy with my job because I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I wish that I could just sing a different song. Maybe I’m just not growing up and am fighting the 9 to 5. Maybe I’m just not cut out for the office life. I want to be proud of what I do, not mumble, secretary when people ask what I do. I toy with the idea of teaching or nursing, but never actually go for it. What am I so afraid of?

I know that my attitude has taken a serious hit at work. I’m no longer bubbly and smiley. I no longer have patience to help those I once befriended. I am negative and grumpy and I am certainly not proud of it. Somehow I have to turn it off at home, remember that it isn’t anyone’s fault but my own that my attitude is in the dumps. I want to stay at my current job until August, simply for the longevity and continuity at one job. My resume needs the help. I don’t want to stay because I hate the work.

adventures in baby shopping

2008-01-06T14:58:00.004-06:00

Today my sister and I ventured to Target so that I could purchase a baby shower gift for one of Ryan's sisters. ohmygosh, that was not fun! I printed out the list and attempted to find anything in the store. Most of the items were only available online only, and had I been organized and planned ahead, I could have had something cute and fun ordered weeks ago, but who has time for that? We spent about 45 minutes going up and down the 7 aisles matching brands, item numbers and actual items. I didn't get the things I wanted because they were not where they were supposed to be and the prices were completely off. The list said something cost $7.50 and then the store said it cost $39.99. Not helpful. None of the prices were anywhere near accurate, so I ended up just getting anything I could find on the list and in the store. When we got to the register, the items didn't scan off the list. The lovely (read: careless) cashier says "Well, maybe it'll come off eventually." Thank goodness for gift receipts. On the bright side, the mothers (and their cute little kids/babies) going up and down the aisles with me and my sister were very helpful with pointing brands or explaining what the stuff was actually used for.

The shower is on Friday, but unfortunately I can't go for dinner, I can only go to give her the presents. I am still on financial restriction (ticket, boo) and dinner at Garden is very much out of the question. Ryan and I have gone 4 days straight now without going out to eat. The entertaining part of not eating out is my pathetic attempt at cooking. I've tried a couple of dinners without taste-bud pleasing success. The food is edible, but leftovers are not appealing once we remember how tasteless the food was the first time around. I will not give up, though! A couple nights a week, I will try to learn to cook something and the others nights, well, there's nothing wrong with frozen dinners, sandwiches and/or cereal, is there? Here's hoping that January goes by fast!

happy new year!

2008-01-03T13:35:00.000-06:00

This year I will be turning 24. Yikes! The new year gives us the opportunity to start fresh, evaluate where I’ve been and where I want to go. I want to make things move in my life, so I’m compiling a list of things to work toward. 2008 Here I come!

In no particular order:
1. Catch up in scrapbooking: I’ve only scrapped up to 2005 and I already have pictures from 2008! Though it has been a fun adventure to peruse through pictures from my life 2-3 years ago.
2. Make the Australia scrapbook: Admittedly, this should be under bullet 1, but this beast is a project all its own. I haven’t even begun to sift through the hundreds of pictures from my trip to Australia.
3. Drink more water.
4. Create a health and fitness plan that gradually builds: This way my goals can change daily/weekly to accommodate my schedule. So yesterday, the goal was to just use the treadmill for a full 30 minutes. It didn’t matter how many calories I burned or how far I went, just that I was moving for 30 minutes and the time was blocked off in my head. I’m hoping to use this once a week to keep my mind set on working out regularly for a set amount of time.
5. Move to a new city: I am so done with Gainesville. Crazy drivers. Freshmen season. Bad shopping. Crazy college kids. Unappealing social activities (i.e. getting drunk) Six years is enough.
6. Make new friends: On the nights when Ryan is working or the times that we would like to just have a bunch of people come hang out, there is just no one to call. I’d like to build up a new friendship base complete with girlfriends (don’t be gross), board gamers, wine and cheese lovers, and workout buddies. Where do you find these people?
7. Build up my savings account: I did some research and found that my credit union savings account is making 7x the interest of my main savings account. I have 10x the money in my main savings account! I’ll be switching accounts to get the better interest rate, but this goal involves more than just that small change. I will be working on not eating out as often, controlling the impulse buys and conserving the energy/water we consume at home. I will also be looking for a home with lower rent starting August 1.
8. Figure out my career choices: I have no illusions in my head of finding the perfect career in the next year, but I would like to narrow my choices and head in the right direction toward my choice.
9. Religion: I would like to become more spiritually active. Currently, prayers come as an after-thought or during stressful/worrisome situations. I’d like to get back to the roots of my faith.

This year seemed to go by in such a blur. In 2007 I: filed my taxes, spent as much quality time with the love of my life as possible, was in my brother’s wedding, changed jobs, RV’ed with my family, went on a cruise, lost a little bit of weight, stayed in the same apt for a second year, donated blood, saved a little more money, went to my first black-tie event and started taking piano lessons. When making my goals, I forgot to think about all the things I have accomplished this year. I’ve done more than I thought. Here’s to a great oh-eight.

Holiday, Oooooh Holiday!

2007-12-27T22:59:00.001-06:00

Considering the fact that I have been essentially celebrating Christmas since December 15, the actual day was quite smashing! Neen and I headed out of town on Christmas eve, late afternoon. We actually talked the entire way home, and we did not argue about anything (shocking, I know)!

We stopped by big bro’s apt to help him finish up his Christmas gift to our parents. Last weekend he asked my sister and I to make a 1-2 minute video message saying how appreciative and loved we felt. While I do love my parents very much and I am very appreciative of all they have given us over the years, I do not love the video camera. Thanks to the digital age, we are capable of taking 19 shots of the same photo opportunity until we are happy with what we get. A video is a running, streaming reminder of what I look like and how I sound, I am not a big fan of that. I put it off for as long as I could, and avoided my brother’s phone calls for a few days, to no avail. We ended up doing a collective video of the four us, the originals plus the newest Jenn C. It is entertainingly and delightfully flawed. We were all happy with it. “It” was a dvd collection of our greatest pictures from the wedding, the road trips and the get-togethers.

I was honestly touched by the generosity shown by mine and Ryan’s families. I am fortunate enough to get to celebrate Christmas with his family every year (amazingly smart to celebrate Christmas a bit early to get people together!). I brought home so much fun loot and this year, there isn’t one gift that I traded to my sister or tried to figure out how to return it quietly. My new candles/diffuser are already proudly on display, my new pj pants have been sported around the apartment on several occasions, I’ve watched my secret indulgence on dvd and put up my new calendar; I’ve even re-organized my closet based on my new hangers. The gifts I gave this year were quite a hit. My brother and I got each other the same thing, a gorilla pod. We both bragged to Neen about it, it’s fantastic features and flexibility and how neat the gift was. Then she called us both and spilled the secret.
After all the celebrating and gift giving, Neen and I headed home. And that’s where the fun stops. For years I have bragged about my ticket-free driving record. Well, there is a first time for everything. I got my first speeding ticket ever in my nearly 8 years of driving. Of course, it was given to me in Waldo (grumble grumble). I have driven that road countless times in the 6 years that I’ve lived in Gainesville and have always been careful of my speed in that horrible area. I have no excuses, the police officer was fair and not rude or awful. I was speeding (because I wasn’t paying attention) and I got a ticket, a very expensive mistake. I held it together, though with shaking hands, until I got home and everything hit me and the tears spilled out. I am currently going through a self-imposed financial punishment for the month of January. No more coffee/bagel treats at work, no OG this month, no Panera soup and salad and no new clothes this month. Ouch. My ticket will definitely be a lesson learned. The fun part is, I get to plead “no contest” in a hearing to see if the judge will have mercy on me and wipe away the bad... wish me luck and think of me at 2:30 on January 31.

Happy holidays!

workouts and cocktail dresses.

2007-12-17T07:14:00.000-06:00

oy. So this morning, after having a week of 85/65 high's and lows, it was 34 degrees outside. I was struggling last night to convince myself to get up early this morning to workout, but I faithfully set my alarm and told myself, "There's no getting around this, you need to shape up, woman!" Well before the alarm went off (4:15ish), Ryan was out of bed hunting for something to help his stomach feel better and I was in bed hunting for a comfy spot despite the sudden lack of snuggle partner. After that, sleep was just all downhill. I was completely parched, but too cold to get out of bed. Working out and then going to work did not sound like fun, so I spent the last 45 minutes not sleeping, but dreading the workout. By the time I got out of bed, working out seemed a lost cause, but I at least forced myself out of bed early so as not to ruin the earlier morning routine. However, I couldn't allow the early time to be completely useless, so I prepared a healthy snack and meal, then (finally) pulled the laundry out of the dryer, folded it and started a new load.
I fully intend to take a nap this afternoon and then I will think seriously about an afternoon workout. My goal is to make up for the 15 minutes I would have done this morning by drinking lots of water, not eating all the little goodies around here and not buying coffee downstairs. Looking at pictures from the party this weekend, I'm thinking it's my efforts need to see more enthusiasm. Not bad, just need to be better.

my handsome man with me in my pretty new dress:
mags and zac:
Left to right: me, Shelly, Dr. V, Susan and Dr. Su
Dr. A and Shelly
Left to right: Zac, Nora, Maggie, Rachel, me and Ryan
Mags, Susan and me:
Mags, me and Nora:

I drank my second glass of wine pretty quickly. I was a bit giddy and by the time I got home, all I wanted to do was get to bed! The party was fun, getting all dressed up was excellent and the night overall was just lovely.

numerology...

2007-12-14T06:41:00.000-06:00

5 - # of consecutive that I have gotten my butt out of bed early enough to squeeze in a workout

50 - # of crunches done on the stability ball on aforementioned 5 days

17 - # of lbs I want to drop

6 - # of lbs I dropped in 2007 (and didn't even realize it!)

11 - # of days before Christmas

1 - # of gifts I have left to purchase

2 - # of Holiday parties this weekend

81 - today's high temp (it's December, people! come on!)

17 days before Christmas!

2007-12-08T23:29:00.000-06:00

As I've mentioned before, Christmas is my favorite time of year. This will be mine and Ryan's fourth Christmas together. How very exciting. Every year it gets better and better.

Here is a quick peek at me and Ryan's Christmas tree and presents!

http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y157/jcueva/?action=view&current=3568c1e4.pbw

i need this.

2007-12-04T08:23:00.000-06:00

and you can get it here. http://www.snorgtees.com/thisiswhyimhot-p-381.html