In true Daddy’s little girl fashion, I am here on this RV trip for my dad. This trip is the one thing, I believe, that my dad looks forward to every year. He wants the whole family, Jason, Jenn, Nina, Mom and Pop to be on this trip. He wants us to get along, see what nature the US has to offer and to have a fun time together, so much fun, that we all look forward to next year. Unfortunately for my dad, it rarely happens that way and each year, we all grudgingly pile into the van (this year it’s the RV) and get along as best we can.
Traveling with people can be a very difficult thing. You have to know a person well enough to know their limits, be courteous enough to respect those limits and patient enough to allow for your limits to be pushed every now and then. Sometimes you have to give a little more than you want to and look away from things that bother you. The more people you add to your list of traveling companions the more difficult it gets to keep everyone happy.
I reached my limit of patience about 2 days into the trip. I can tell by the insolent, impatient stubbornness that eeks it’s way into my voice and my reactions to my family. Every annoying act causes me to lash out in an irrational, yet unstoppable way. My mother, with her ever constant nagging and pushing, has been the most difficult to bear.
I’ve been trying in vain to find a way to balance the patience and unkindness with peace and friendliness. The obstacle is this, without Ryan, I am at my worst. When I leave him for days on end or on the rare occasion that he leaves me, my nerves become frayed. There is something about being around Ryan that calms me and makes me a nicer person. He helps to bring perspective to situations that would otherwise bring my temper to a hot boil. While its true that he can frustrate me to no end, he can also pinpoint the parts that frustrate me, walk me through them and talk me off the cliff. He also helps with the sexual frustration that has been building since last Friday. As independent and self-sustaining as I’d like to think I am, I really do need to be around Ryan to be at my best.
This morning has been the most difficult so far. No seems to understand that to close the door to the RV, you don’t have to slam it. Every step shakes the whole RV and every sound is heard. People come in (slamming the door behind them) shouting and stomping about at 6:45 in the morning is quite horrible. My mom complained about how hot it was in the RV (after she went for a f*cking run) and cranked up the AC to make it a chilly 65 degrees. My sister started in on how bored she was and my dad simply came quietly into the RV with his coffee to sit on the couch. He didn’t ask me any questions and he didn’t try to get me out of bed. Wide awake, I had no choice but to face the music. I plopped on the headphones, found a relaxing song and drowned it all out. To no avail. “Are you hungry?” “What do you want to do today?” “Are you hot?” “Are you cold?” Headphones do not seem to matter. I am now outside with the music as loud as I can stand, trying to center myself so that I am not an unbearable person for the rest of the day.
I’ve got an entire week to go before I can be back in Gainesville. The RV is getting smaller every day and the boredom grows thick. I have finished the book I was reading when I left and am now about 375 pages into my next book. I have one more book with me and thankfully there is internet. wish me luck.
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