There has been a lot of talk in the office about "our generation" vs. "their generation". Our being the twenty and thirty somethings vs their parents. Awhile back, I read this article about how the young, just starting to work in the real world generation of today views hard work, dedication and vacation time very differently than the parent generation. The article went on to explain how our generation watched our parents work hard, putting in full-time and over-time at one or sometimes multiple jobs. Our parent generation sees a "hard-earned" dollar and that work ethic took a toll on their family life and personal life in general. Therefore, when people of our age go in for a job, we focus on how long our work day will be, what type of vacation time do we get, and how much of our personal lives will need to be sacrificed. It was general concensus that both perspectives have valid points, but at what point does it all balance out?
One point that was made said that the graduates of today, undergrad, graduate, Ph.D, etc., feel that he or she is entitled to a higher position, simply because of the degree that came from their education. What happened to working your way up the ladder? What happened to putting in the time, the effort, the dedication to earn the CEO status? Do we have to get both the advanced education and climb the proverbial ladder?
Today's discussion stemmed from Jeffrey Lazslow's 2 articles "Blame it on Mr. Rogers: WHy young adults feel so entitled" and "The Entitlement Epidemic: Who's really to blame?". His articles suggest that children of today have been raised in an environment that encourages all children, an environment that maintains that each and every child is special. This "special-ness" sometimes takes in all behavior like a big blanket of special things. When a kid is running a race or swinging the bat, whether they win or lose, that kid is something special, just for being whoever they are. Well, if every kid is special than no kid is special, they are all the same sub-par little people with no competition to encourage them to differentiate from one another. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule and culture plays a distinct role in psychological processes. There will be that kid who thinks he is the best because that kid actually is the best and there will always be the low self-esteemed kid who missed that week's "you're special" speech and is subsequently okay with mediocrity.
Overly postive parenting, then, leads to direct results of an over-nurtured, expectant generation of people who believe they are entitled to a certain status due to a sense of "special-ness". In general, there needs to be a better sense of praise for that which deserves praise and encouragement to work harder to earn what you aim for, rather than simply praising all efforts in any direction.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
Cirque du Hooray!
Ryan's birthday surprise weekend went beautifully. We stayed at a gorgeous (and massive) hotel. I booked the special gourmet breakfast, not realizing that since it was a Disney hotel, there would be characters wandering around saying hi to all the guests. I spent my breakfast trying to dodge the creepy petting of Minnie, Goofy, and Pluto. I was rather unsuccessful.
Circque du soleil was absolutely breath-taking. Ryan and I got all dressed up for the show. I decided this trip that I wasn't going to overpack. So I packed exactly as many shirts, socks, etc that we would need for the weekend. Well, that was the worst idea ever. On the way in to Orlando, it was pouring rain, so when we got to the hotel, we only brought out of the car what was necessary. We left our dress shoes and our snacks in the car, thinking we'd just grab the shoes on our way out to the show. It was still raining right before we left, so Ryan rolled up his pants and ran to the car to get the shoes. He accidently rubbed up against something and got his light khaki dress pants (his only dress pants that got packed, mind you) dirty across the front. We had to trek back to the hotel room where I hand washed the spots and then blow-dry-ed/iron-dry-ed the pants. And then, at long last, with blisters and wet clothes we arrived at the big tent.
I was so tense during some parts that I was holding my breath, silently willing the performers to land their jump, catch the bar, stay on the high wire, etc. Of course, they are very capable and everyone landed safely. All of their flips and throws and jumps seemed so unbelievable and impossible. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, live and in person, I'm not sure I would believe all the stunts.
All in all, the weekend was a blast. It's a little disappointing to be back in the daily grind. Looking forward to cruise week!
Circque du soleil was absolutely breath-taking. Ryan and I got all dressed up for the show. I decided this trip that I wasn't going to overpack. So I packed exactly as many shirts, socks, etc that we would need for the weekend. Well, that was the worst idea ever. On the way in to Orlando, it was pouring rain, so when we got to the hotel, we only brought out of the car what was necessary. We left our dress shoes and our snacks in the car, thinking we'd just grab the shoes on our way out to the show. It was still raining right before we left, so Ryan rolled up his pants and ran to the car to get the shoes. He accidently rubbed up against something and got his light khaki dress pants (his only dress pants that got packed, mind you) dirty across the front. We had to trek back to the hotel room where I hand washed the spots and then blow-dry-ed/iron-dry-ed the pants. And then, at long last, with blisters and wet clothes we arrived at the big tent.
I was so tense during some parts that I was holding my breath, silently willing the performers to land their jump, catch the bar, stay on the high wire, etc. Of course, they are very capable and everyone landed safely. All of their flips and throws and jumps seemed so unbelievable and impossible. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, live and in person, I'm not sure I would believe all the stunts.
All in all, the weekend was a blast. It's a little disappointing to be back in the daily grind. Looking forward to cruise week!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Oh the places you'll go
I have an itch to travel again. I've been to Canada (woohoo), 48 states, Australia, Fiji, the Philippines, Spain and Morocco. Yes, I realize that I have a cruise planned in the unbearably faraway future (120 days away) and I should be grateful for the fact that I can take the trip, but it has now been over a year since I've left the country. I miss the fun of planning a trip, catching planes and entertaining myself during layovers. I miss the excitement of a new city and the joy that is a homecoming. Paris? Italy? Great Britain? When will we meet?
In 8 days, Ryan and I will be off to a faraway land called Orlando. Yippee! Orlando for me is just a crazy world of lost people searching for Mickey Mouse. Despite it's low level (or absence) on the exotic scale, I am quite excited about it. If I am successful, it will be the first time I conjured up a surprise for Ryan and actually held my tongue until the point of actual surprise! I'm looking forward to the 2 hours on I75 armed with SoBe's, yummy snacks and some quality get-to-know-you time. I love our little stop in Okahumpka, getting lost every single time we come into Orlando no matter how many times we've come through (maybe a little out of tradition) and then lounge around once we land in the hotel.
In 28 days, my family and I sans my brother and his wife, will be leaving for our annual family vacation. A tradition that has held firm since 1994. I don't even want to think about how old I was in Nineteen Ninety-four, but that is how long I have been stuffed into a car, lived out of a tightly packed suitcase and got to know who the people in my family are. I've stood behind many a photo encouraged by my mother-ever the photo opportunist, I've rushed alongside my family members from one tourist trap to the next under my father's militant travel itinerary and shopped til I dropped in nearly every shopping mall, strip mall and tourist shop across the nation. You name the "USAopoly" location on the board, I have been there or will have been there soon. Huge redwoods? been there. Mammoth Cave? done that. Grand Canyon? Seen it, thrice.
In 120 days, I am on my way to the Western Caribbean! That's the big trip, nearly 2 whole years since my last escape from the states. I've tried to distract myself from the growing excitement, planning the Orlando trip, dreading the fam vacay, and wallowing in self pity. But the truth is, the end of the year holds so many more exciting things than the summertime! Seriously, the cruise, me and Ryan's 3 yr anniversary, Christmas!, and New Years. Summertime hardly stands a chance in comparison.
Now I just need someplace between 28 days and 120 days...google maps, here I come.
In 8 days, Ryan and I will be off to a faraway land called Orlando. Yippee! Orlando for me is just a crazy world of lost people searching for Mickey Mouse. Despite it's low level (or absence) on the exotic scale, I am quite excited about it. If I am successful, it will be the first time I conjured up a surprise for Ryan and actually held my tongue until the point of actual surprise! I'm looking forward to the 2 hours on I75 armed with SoBe's, yummy snacks and some quality get-to-know-you time. I love our little stop in Okahumpka, getting lost every single time we come into Orlando no matter how many times we've come through (maybe a little out of tradition) and then lounge around once we land in the hotel.
In 28 days, my family and I sans my brother and his wife, will be leaving for our annual family vacation. A tradition that has held firm since 1994. I don't even want to think about how old I was in Nineteen Ninety-four, but that is how long I have been stuffed into a car, lived out of a tightly packed suitcase and got to know who the people in my family are. I've stood behind many a photo encouraged by my mother-ever the photo opportunist, I've rushed alongside my family members from one tourist trap to the next under my father's militant travel itinerary and shopped til I dropped in nearly every shopping mall, strip mall and tourist shop across the nation. You name the "USAopoly" location on the board, I have been there or will have been there soon. Huge redwoods? been there. Mammoth Cave? done that. Grand Canyon? Seen it, thrice.
In 120 days, I am on my way to the Western Caribbean! That's the big trip, nearly 2 whole years since my last escape from the states. I've tried to distract myself from the growing excitement, planning the Orlando trip, dreading the fam vacay, and wallowing in self pity. But the truth is, the end of the year holds so many more exciting things than the summertime! Seriously, the cruise, me and Ryan's 3 yr anniversary, Christmas!, and New Years. Summertime hardly stands a chance in comparison.
Now I just need someplace between 28 days and 120 days...google maps, here I come.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
august 1
That is the first day of my new lease. The remarkable thing about this new lease is that it will be the first time i've ever renewed a lease in Gainesville. So, techinically it isn't a "new" lease, but who cares. I'm actually not moving this fall, which means I didn't spend the first 2 months of this year frantically searching for the! perfect! apartment! This is because I am happy with my current apartment, roommate and location. It's strange to not be packing or coordinating a move with work schedules and all that jazz. It's a new feeling.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
changing perspective
I started this blog to catalog my life, so that when I wonder how I got to where I will be in 10 years, I will have some record of where I've been and how I felt as I "grew up". So, to continue the story tonight...
I finished It's a Wonderful Lie tonight. I definitely found it to be an eye opening a read. Just as I suspected, it gave me a renewed sense of excitement toward life in my twenties. I could picture a friend in her twenties who is living nearly every experience outlined across the novel. There was a piece of the life I'm living in each of the stories, too. I'm the girl who loves to travel, the one who is not satisfied with her job, the girl in love, the girl who wants to get out of the town that she knows like the back of her hand in search of something new and exciting, the girl who wants to get married and the girl who in a very small part of her heart wonders what it could be like to be single again. I am just a girl in my twenties, fumbling through my experiences, thriving in my triumphs and learning from every place I've been, emotionally, physically and mentally.
I remember that once I had this dream of living in a tiny 1 or 2 bedroom apt, making it easily on my modest salary, decorating shabby-chic room and exploring a big, exciting city. My dream now is mostly the same, except now it includes Ryan.
I am finally coming to terms with my current job because there is a closer promise of moving away, moving out of Gainesville. I am not stuck being a secretary, I am waiting for the next big thing. I didn't become a secretary just because, I became a secretary because I desperately needed to get out of banking. I met a bunch of fun people and I mostly enjoy my work days. My hours are decent and my weekends are fabulous and relaxing.
Now that my book is done, I am actually looking forward to going back to reading The Wheel of Time series.
I finished It's a Wonderful Lie tonight. I definitely found it to be an eye opening a read. Just as I suspected, it gave me a renewed sense of excitement toward life in my twenties. I could picture a friend in her twenties who is living nearly every experience outlined across the novel. There was a piece of the life I'm living in each of the stories, too. I'm the girl who loves to travel, the one who is not satisfied with her job, the girl in love, the girl who wants to get out of the town that she knows like the back of her hand in search of something new and exciting, the girl who wants to get married and the girl who in a very small part of her heart wonders what it could be like to be single again. I am just a girl in my twenties, fumbling through my experiences, thriving in my triumphs and learning from every place I've been, emotionally, physically and mentally.
I remember that once I had this dream of living in a tiny 1 or 2 bedroom apt, making it easily on my modest salary, decorating shabby-chic room and exploring a big, exciting city. My dream now is mostly the same, except now it includes Ryan.
I am finally coming to terms with my current job because there is a closer promise of moving away, moving out of Gainesville. I am not stuck being a secretary, I am waiting for the next big thing. I didn't become a secretary just because, I became a secretary because I desperately needed to get out of banking. I met a bunch of fun people and I mostly enjoy my work days. My hours are decent and my weekends are fabulous and relaxing.
Now that my book is done, I am actually looking forward to going back to reading The Wheel of Time series.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
More than meets the eye
Ryan and I went on a date last night. We had dinner, a movie and then got ice cream. It was quite lovely.
The best perk of dating a theater man is free movies and free popcorn. Our free movie last night was Transformers. I had been hearing that it was amazing since the day it came out and was very excited to see it. Not only was I not disappointed, but I was in shock as to how excellent the movie was. It was funny, action packed, not cheesy, good eye candy and held my attention from start to finish. Usually, when movies get talked up too much I find I'm not as thrilled as I hoped. But Transformers really blew me out of the water. It's definitely one that I am buying as soon as it's out on DVD.
The best perk of dating a theater man is free movies and free popcorn. Our free movie last night was Transformers. I had been hearing that it was amazing since the day it came out and was very excited to see it. Not only was I not disappointed, but I was in shock as to how excellent the movie was. It was funny, action packed, not cheesy, good eye candy and held my attention from start to finish. Usually, when movies get talked up too much I find I'm not as thrilled as I hoped. But Transformers really blew me out of the water. It's definitely one that I am buying as soon as it's out on DVD.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
blast to the past
A long, long time ago, I was a freshman in college. I was so excited to load up my explorer and move into the dorms with 2 random roommates. My whole life fit into a few boxes and and would be cramped up in the room that was in Reid Hall (the only dorm I saw on campus back during Preview that I said looked sad and dingy). I learned to love living in that tiny space.
I enjoyed the little accomplishments that came with living "on my own" for the first time. For example, I remember the first time I realized I had run out of clean clothes. I sat down on the dorm floor and tried desperately to remember my mom's laundry words of wisdom. My much more experienced roommate, Maggie, looked at me laughingly and asked, "Had I really never done my own laundry?!" And seriously, apart from moving clothes from washer to dryer, the laundry world was an unknown land of mystery to me. "Is an orange gator shirt a dark or a light?" "Do I have to do something special to keep my bras in good shape?" "How do you wash a striped shirt?".
I remember how excited I was when I could claim that I had used an entire tube of toothpaste from start to finish, all by myself ! I loved doing my own laundry, pretending I could cook in the dorm kitchen, using my own toothpaste and running off at all hours of the night to get ice cream at the union.
My roommate taught me much more than which clothes were dark and which were light. She taught me the beauty of wearing a thong, sat with me during my first beers (on her birthday) and showed me how to put make-up on. Before college, the only alcohol I'd ever had was the wine at church.
I remember dreaming of law school and how I would dress fashionably beautiful and impress the jury and judges and win lots of cases. I figured out which classes I had to go to and which I could skip and still pass. I did crosswords with Rachel during Calc 2 lecture and paid highly focused attention during TA class.
Somewehere between the 5 apartments and 12 roommates I had during my college years, law school lept out of the picture, the ideas teaching, nursing and motherhood crept in and out and then I graduated. I lost the explorer (to a relatively harmless incident with lots of speed and a gaurd rail on I-175) and switched to a more sensible car that would take me into the years after college and could suit the needs of the possiblity of children. There was a period between my junior and senior year when I realized that I was doing it all way! too! fast! I met a boy and we fell in love. I took off for Australia for a couple of months to slow the pace of college and the impending graduation that carried with it an enormous amount of pressure.
I am now sitting in my 5th apartment in the same city. I am elbow deep in disapppointment with the career path I am stumbling on now. Working the front desk at the hotel was easy enough, the Alligator was fun but stressful, I loved working at the chocolate store, and then I was ready to move on. I always assumed I would just have a fabulous job that would pay me lots of money and I would be extremely happy. Turns out, I am happy but simultaneously dissatisfied. I still enjoy doing laundry, and now I share my tubes of toothpaste with my ultra sweet boyfriend. I still wear thongs and have developed a strong obsession with shoes and purses. I drink very occassionaly. I wish I had more friends or was at least better at keeping up with the small handful of friends I do have.
I was looking at some pictures from someone's facebook (a site that is addicting and somehow marks either the level or lack of achievement I've cultivated vs what other people my age are doing) and I came across a picture of a friend who went to grad school and moved to Texas to be with the man she loved right after. She went to school for elementary education and got a job right smack in the thick of exactly what she wanted to do. She was sitting in between a huge group of fourth graders with a huge smile on her face, saying how much she loved her kids. I thought to myself, "I could do that". Laney just got a fairly decent paying job as a high school english teacher, Marcy works at high school in gainesville teaching. Other English majors did it, why can't I? Frankly, I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid I will discover I don't like it, the way I discovered I didn't like banking and the way I'm finding I don't much care for being a secretary.
Do I really want to invest more time and more money into an education only to find that I'm not really sure I want to take my life in that direction shortly after entering that career field? There isn't really a fabulous wardrobe associated with being an elementary school teacher, pumps are almost flat out of the question. The idea of dealing with parents freaks me out. Yet, I always, always find myself toying with the idea of teaching.
Reading the Wonderful Lie has really got me thinking about what I really want to do and wondering how long it will take to get to the point of knowing. The only thing that so far seems to be working out is the fact that I am still in love.
I enjoyed the little accomplishments that came with living "on my own" for the first time. For example, I remember the first time I realized I had run out of clean clothes. I sat down on the dorm floor and tried desperately to remember my mom's laundry words of wisdom. My much more experienced roommate, Maggie, looked at me laughingly and asked, "Had I really never done my own laundry?!" And seriously, apart from moving clothes from washer to dryer, the laundry world was an unknown land of mystery to me. "Is an orange gator shirt a dark or a light?" "Do I have to do something special to keep my bras in good shape?" "How do you wash a striped shirt?".
I remember how excited I was when I could claim that I had used an entire tube of toothpaste from start to finish, all by myself ! I loved doing my own laundry, pretending I could cook in the dorm kitchen, using my own toothpaste and running off at all hours of the night to get ice cream at the union.
My roommate taught me much more than which clothes were dark and which were light. She taught me the beauty of wearing a thong, sat with me during my first beers (on her birthday) and showed me how to put make-up on. Before college, the only alcohol I'd ever had was the wine at church.
I remember dreaming of law school and how I would dress fashionably beautiful and impress the jury and judges and win lots of cases. I figured out which classes I had to go to and which I could skip and still pass. I did crosswords with Rachel during Calc 2 lecture and paid highly focused attention during TA class.
Somewehere between the 5 apartments and 12 roommates I had during my college years, law school lept out of the picture, the ideas teaching, nursing and motherhood crept in and out and then I graduated. I lost the explorer (to a relatively harmless incident with lots of speed and a gaurd rail on I-175) and switched to a more sensible car that would take me into the years after college and could suit the needs of the possiblity of children. There was a period between my junior and senior year when I realized that I was doing it all way! too! fast! I met a boy and we fell in love. I took off for Australia for a couple of months to slow the pace of college and the impending graduation that carried with it an enormous amount of pressure.
I am now sitting in my 5th apartment in the same city. I am elbow deep in disapppointment with the career path I am stumbling on now. Working the front desk at the hotel was easy enough, the Alligator was fun but stressful, I loved working at the chocolate store, and then I was ready to move on. I always assumed I would just have a fabulous job that would pay me lots of money and I would be extremely happy. Turns out, I am happy but simultaneously dissatisfied. I still enjoy doing laundry, and now I share my tubes of toothpaste with my ultra sweet boyfriend. I still wear thongs and have developed a strong obsession with shoes and purses. I drink very occassionaly. I wish I had more friends or was at least better at keeping up with the small handful of friends I do have.
I was looking at some pictures from someone's facebook (a site that is addicting and somehow marks either the level or lack of achievement I've cultivated vs what other people my age are doing) and I came across a picture of a friend who went to grad school and moved to Texas to be with the man she loved right after. She went to school for elementary education and got a job right smack in the thick of exactly what she wanted to do. She was sitting in between a huge group of fourth graders with a huge smile on her face, saying how much she loved her kids. I thought to myself, "I could do that". Laney just got a fairly decent paying job as a high school english teacher, Marcy works at high school in gainesville teaching. Other English majors did it, why can't I? Frankly, I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid I will discover I don't like it, the way I discovered I didn't like banking and the way I'm finding I don't much care for being a secretary.
Do I really want to invest more time and more money into an education only to find that I'm not really sure I want to take my life in that direction shortly after entering that career field? There isn't really a fabulous wardrobe associated with being an elementary school teacher, pumps are almost flat out of the question. The idea of dealing with parents freaks me out. Yet, I always, always find myself toying with the idea of teaching.
Reading the Wonderful Lie has really got me thinking about what I really want to do and wondering how long it will take to get to the point of knowing. The only thing that so far seems to be working out is the fact that I am still in love.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Babies can wait. Thank you.
I have been toying with the idea of not having babies for a couple of months now. It was mostly caused by the fact that kids have those breakdown moments of screaming, crying, kicking, punching and overall brattiness all because they have to go to bed, horror of all horrors. Thanks to my baby-sitting years, I have put down many a child; sometimes they screamed as I tried to gently explain to them that I would love for them to go to sleep and tell me all about their dreams the next day. For the most part, it was easy to stay mostly calm as the child I was baby-sitting for screamed and wailed in my face. This calmness rested firmly on the fact that I could leave the child in his or her parents care at the end of the night. It's easy to like a kid when you get to return it. I am truly afraid to have children.
The thing that scares me the most about having kids is that one day, there will be a very real person who will go from depending upon me and my husband for everything, to challenging every word that comes out of my mouth, to spitting my mistakes in rearing them in my face, to asking me for money and material things, and then might walk away from me, as I did to my parents, thinking that I know nothing about what it's like to be young. Yeah, yeah, I know there are many upsides to having children, i.e. macaroni Christmas ornaments, beautiful childish laughter and smiles, the possibility of a grandchild (who I can return at the end of the day), and many other things that I have yet to experience.
But think with me for a second about what married life could be like without a little person that I would have to raise. I could take after Miss Carrie Bradshaw and throw an "I'm not having a baby shower." (Carrie made a wedding registry when she claimed to have married herself). I could still get presents, I would even register for things for my husband (no need to be excessively selfish). I wouldn't spend countless dollars on diapers, clothes that take all of 3 weeks to grow out of, pounds of food, education and who knows what else. I wouldn't lose my jet black hair to worry and anxiety on what the little person is doing or will do or won't do, only to be replaced by non-flattering, dull grays.
There will be no issue of baptism or whose turn it is to feed the baby or who is going to be the bad guy.
Maybe one day my opinion on this matter will change. Tonight, babies can wait a long while more before they can become part of my plan for the future (because that plan was going so well to begin with....or not).
Anyway, go see Knocked Up. It's hilarious.
The thing that scares me the most about having kids is that one day, there will be a very real person who will go from depending upon me and my husband for everything, to challenging every word that comes out of my mouth, to spitting my mistakes in rearing them in my face, to asking me for money and material things, and then might walk away from me, as I did to my parents, thinking that I know nothing about what it's like to be young. Yeah, yeah, I know there are many upsides to having children, i.e. macaroni Christmas ornaments, beautiful childish laughter and smiles, the possibility of a grandchild (who I can return at the end of the day), and many other things that I have yet to experience.
But think with me for a second about what married life could be like without a little person that I would have to raise. I could take after Miss Carrie Bradshaw and throw an "I'm not having a baby shower." (Carrie made a wedding registry when she claimed to have married herself). I could still get presents, I would even register for things for my husband (no need to be excessively selfish). I wouldn't spend countless dollars on diapers, clothes that take all of 3 weeks to grow out of, pounds of food, education and who knows what else. I wouldn't lose my jet black hair to worry and anxiety on what the little person is doing or will do or won't do, only to be replaced by non-flattering, dull grays.
There will be no issue of baptism or whose turn it is to feed the baby or who is going to be the bad guy.
Maybe one day my opinion on this matter will change. Tonight, babies can wait a long while more before they can become part of my plan for the future (because that plan was going so well to begin with....or not).
Anyway, go see Knocked Up. It's hilarious.
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