This was my first year actually making some part of Thanksgiving dinner. One year my mom let me make the gravy. When that failed utterly, she sent me out of her kitchen. My duties since then have not gone past preperation per her specific instructions. This year, since I made my goodies in my own kitchen then plopped them on her table, there wasn't much she could say to stop me. Sweet potatoes are not a huge thing in my family. My 2 cousins and brother had never had sweet potato casserole. I watched their faces turn from apprehensive to delightfully surprised as the yummy goodness reached their tastebuds. My aunts took all of the casserole leftovers home and my cousin asked me to make extra for Christmas dinner! I think my mom might let me back in her kitchen now; she might even let me do more than just chop the vegetables or tell her when the pot is boiling.
After dinner, I perused the 5 pound stack of Black Friday ads and planned "The Route". My alarm went off at 4:15 am (I went to bed at a reasonable 1:00am) and we were on the road by 4:35am. My cousin Jay joined us. He recently joined the Air Force and by the end of the morning he was comparing his level of exhaustion to a week in boot camp. We went eco-friendly and brought our own bags to fill rather using the store bags. It worked really well to not have 15+ plastic bag handles digging into your palms.
Around 12:45pm my sister and cousin were falling asleep during the drives between stores, so I offered to drop them off at home before going on by myself. I spent another hour or so out and about getting last minute things. After helping my brother and sister-in-law move some things to their new apartment, my mom and I went back out shopping. I was tickled by the fantastic deals I got on some really great things. I only have to get one more present and I can check everyone off of my list. My sister and I split the loot in half to save time on wrapping.
By the end of the day, I was utterly exhausted. It was completely worth it. I really enjoyed being with my family, eating with them, laughing with them and shopping with them. I am so thankful for all that I am surrounded by. We are all in good health, good homes and have good relationships. We know just how lucky we are to be where we are today and this weekend we sat back and enjoyed taking it all in together. Could Thanksgiving weekend have been any more perfect? I think not.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Hello Holidays!
We are well into the week of Thanksgiving. I have no work until next Monday and lots to do in the time I have. I'm heading home for Thanksgiving with my family. Then Black Friday shopping. Saturday we put up the Christmas decorations. And Sunday, I'm home again.
Ryan and I put the tree up the other day. Lights, ornaments, stockings, holiday clock. It's starting to look like Christmas around here. Now the hunt for boxes begins. In my family, we're big on disguising the contents of wrapped boxes. We add plastic containers of beads to add sounds, heavy items like bars of soap or lots of socks to make a box seem heavier or fuller. We put DVD's in obnoxiously large boxes. It isn't rare to unwrap a present only to find a cereal box with something fancy like an Ipod inside. One year, my sister was really hoping for this one movie that had one of those sleeve covers over the actual DVD case. I slipped the movie she wanted out of the box, then put in another movie and convinced her that I borrowed the sleeve from someone else who owned the movie. I hid the actual movie at the very bottom of her stack of presents so she didn't figure it out until way later. I love tricking her, probably a little too much.
Black Friday is seriously one of my favorite days of the year. I know a lot of people hate the agressive shoppers with seemingly permanent scowls on their faces or can't stand the mad dash for the "It" toy" or gadget of the season. For me, I love getting up at the crack of dawn, armed with my list of stores to hit and specific items to find, quietly making my way through the crowds of frantic people. I've had my disappointments where I've just missed the last item on the shelf, but then I've also had my triumphs in getting amazing deals on hot products. I just love it. We leave around 4:30am and are finished by around 10:00am, at which time I go back to bed. I can only handle this type of shopping with my sister. She and I shop very well together; she moves as quickly as I do and keeps her eye on the goal. After we get all of our stuff, we take turns standing in line while we check out the other deals around the store. By the end of that shopping time, I usually don't have many more presents to buy. In the end, I trade weeks of shopping and agonizing over where the perfect gift could be for a ridiculously early morning drving all over town trying to get the best deals. Not too shabby I think. Then, I get to spend the weekend after wrapping presents and we get to look at a lovely tree inundated with presents. Love it.
Ryan and I put the tree up the other day. Lights, ornaments, stockings, holiday clock. It's starting to look like Christmas around here. Now the hunt for boxes begins. In my family, we're big on disguising the contents of wrapped boxes. We add plastic containers of beads to add sounds, heavy items like bars of soap or lots of socks to make a box seem heavier or fuller. We put DVD's in obnoxiously large boxes. It isn't rare to unwrap a present only to find a cereal box with something fancy like an Ipod inside. One year, my sister was really hoping for this one movie that had one of those sleeve covers over the actual DVD case. I slipped the movie she wanted out of the box, then put in another movie and convinced her that I borrowed the sleeve from someone else who owned the movie. I hid the actual movie at the very bottom of her stack of presents so she didn't figure it out until way later. I love tricking her, probably a little too much.
Black Friday is seriously one of my favorite days of the year. I know a lot of people hate the agressive shoppers with seemingly permanent scowls on their faces or can't stand the mad dash for the "It" toy" or gadget of the season. For me, I love getting up at the crack of dawn, armed with my list of stores to hit and specific items to find, quietly making my way through the crowds of frantic people. I've had my disappointments where I've just missed the last item on the shelf, but then I've also had my triumphs in getting amazing deals on hot products. I just love it. We leave around 4:30am and are finished by around 10:00am, at which time I go back to bed. I can only handle this type of shopping with my sister. She and I shop very well together; she moves as quickly as I do and keeps her eye on the goal. After we get all of our stuff, we take turns standing in line while we check out the other deals around the store. By the end of that shopping time, I usually don't have many more presents to buy. In the end, I trade weeks of shopping and agonizing over where the perfect gift could be for a ridiculously early morning drving all over town trying to get the best deals. Not too shabby I think. Then, I get to spend the weekend after wrapping presents and we get to look at a lovely tree inundated with presents. Love it.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Hello Kindergartners...
Yesterday, I spent half a day in a 1st grade classroom and by the end of the day, my voice was practically gone from asking them to be quiet, close their mouths and sit down on their bottoms. They weren't a bad group of kids, but it felt like they should have known better for their age.
Today, I spent a full day in a kindergarten classroom. I once again nearly lost my voice from asking them to please, please be quieter, sit down, and no hitting! For some reason, the kindergarten behavior, though much rowdier and louder, didn't bother me as much as the 1st graders. I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed kindergarten. Here I thought I was on a straight road to 2nd grade, but instead might be taking a detour in kindergarten or even pre-k. I think I was expecting very young children who would be unable to care for themselves in any way. Some of the pre-k kids could read and the rest were destined to be reading well before the end of the school year. The kindergartners I worked with today were a very smart bunch. Each of them knew the routine and behaved like responsible little adults.
They behaved until we went outside for a guest speaker - Mr. Paul, the karate teacher. He taught them that karate was about respect and discipline, then moved right on to punching and kicking. The rest of the day was spent telling kids to keep their hands to themselves and no punching. What can you expect though? The guy was dressed in his gi and was doing some neat things. Of course the kids would want to be like him.
I had great help from the more experienced teachers and found great comfort in meeting a teacher younger than me who is in her first year. They both looked like pros and helped keep my class in line. You could hardly tell that one had less experience than the other.
Substitute teaching has been fantastic. I know the kids are not on their best behavior because their normal teacher is out, so I also know that eventually I'll have my own classroom full of kids who know me. Thursday I'm going to be in a 4th grade classroom. This grade scares me, especially after being told that I'm getting a notoriously rambunctious class. I've seen the 4th and 5th graders in the cafeteria and some of those kids are as tall as I am. I realize it isn't a very difficult thing to beat 5'2", but when it's a 9 year old looking at the top of my head, I get a bit antsy. Time to find my most comfortable pair of heels (if there is such a thing).
Today, I spent a full day in a kindergarten classroom. I once again nearly lost my voice from asking them to please, please be quieter, sit down, and no hitting! For some reason, the kindergarten behavior, though much rowdier and louder, didn't bother me as much as the 1st graders. I was very surprised by how much I enjoyed kindergarten. Here I thought I was on a straight road to 2nd grade, but instead might be taking a detour in kindergarten or even pre-k. I think I was expecting very young children who would be unable to care for themselves in any way. Some of the pre-k kids could read and the rest were destined to be reading well before the end of the school year. The kindergartners I worked with today were a very smart bunch. Each of them knew the routine and behaved like responsible little adults.
They behaved until we went outside for a guest speaker - Mr. Paul, the karate teacher. He taught them that karate was about respect and discipline, then moved right on to punching and kicking. The rest of the day was spent telling kids to keep their hands to themselves and no punching. What can you expect though? The guy was dressed in his gi and was doing some neat things. Of course the kids would want to be like him.
I had great help from the more experienced teachers and found great comfort in meeting a teacher younger than me who is in her first year. They both looked like pros and helped keep my class in line. You could hardly tell that one had less experience than the other.
Substitute teaching has been fantastic. I know the kids are not on their best behavior because their normal teacher is out, so I also know that eventually I'll have my own classroom full of kids who know me. Thursday I'm going to be in a 4th grade classroom. This grade scares me, especially after being told that I'm getting a notoriously rambunctious class. I've seen the 4th and 5th graders in the cafeteria and some of those kids are as tall as I am. I realize it isn't a very difficult thing to beat 5'2", but when it's a 9 year old looking at the top of my head, I get a bit antsy. Time to find my most comfortable pair of heels (if there is such a thing).
Friday, November 14, 2008
They call me "Miss Jenn"
"They" are the students and today I was the teacher, a substitute teacher, but a teacher nonetheless. I can't even begin to explain the feeling I get when I stand in front of the children and try to teach them. I actually watched little pre-schoolers learn. It's every bit as satisfying as I imagined.
On Thursday afternoon I received confirmation of my Substitute Teacher Certification for the local school county. On Thursday night I received a call from the school I work at to be a sub in a Pre-K classroom for Friday! Not only does this mean I have a great feeling of pressure released from the tightness of my budget lately, but that I can clock 7 more hours of classroom experience THAT I LOVED! I knew a couple of the kids from extended-day already, and the rest I got to know quickly. The classroom feels so natural for me. In a Pre-K classroom there is almost always a teacher and an assistant. The teacher was out for the day in this particular classroom, so the assistant led the class and I assisted her. There wasn't a ton of stuff for me to do, but I was definitely picked up better classroom management skills and had great exposure to a wonderful teacher who really knows how to interact with the children.
We moved from one activity to the next smoothly. The kids really seemed to enjoy me being in their classroom and the teacher even said at the end of the day, "Now, I want you in my classroom all the time!" Knowing how comfortable I felt in the classroom and how much I enjoyed being with the kids makes it all the more satisfying to be working toward my masters in Early Childhood Education.
I am so happy to be able to substitute teach now. I'm anxious to get into different grade levels and experience those classrooms. I'm excited for the extra income. I'm excited to work with the kids and develop my teaching skills. I'm excited that things are falling together, on God's time and not mine, at last. I'm thankful that I am so blessed with support from my friends and family.
On Thursday afternoon I received confirmation of my Substitute Teacher Certification for the local school county. On Thursday night I received a call from the school I work at to be a sub in a Pre-K classroom for Friday! Not only does this mean I have a great feeling of pressure released from the tightness of my budget lately, but that I can clock 7 more hours of classroom experience THAT I LOVED! I knew a couple of the kids from extended-day already, and the rest I got to know quickly. The classroom feels so natural for me. In a Pre-K classroom there is almost always a teacher and an assistant. The teacher was out for the day in this particular classroom, so the assistant led the class and I assisted her. There wasn't a ton of stuff for me to do, but I was definitely picked up better classroom management skills and had great exposure to a wonderful teacher who really knows how to interact with the children.
We moved from one activity to the next smoothly. The kids really seemed to enjoy me being in their classroom and the teacher even said at the end of the day, "Now, I want you in my classroom all the time!" Knowing how comfortable I felt in the classroom and how much I enjoyed being with the kids makes it all the more satisfying to be working toward my masters in Early Childhood Education.
I am so happy to be able to substitute teach now. I'm anxious to get into different grade levels and experience those classrooms. I'm excited for the extra income. I'm excited to work with the kids and develop my teaching skills. I'm excited that things are falling together, on God's time and not mine, at last. I'm thankful that I am so blessed with support from my friends and family.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Hah!
And this is why I would have sunk like an anchor if I tried to do a post every day for 30 days. I would have dropped out on the 5th day. Pathetic.
I am considering taking 3 classes next semester as opposed to 2. Both of my classes were online this semester which has been both a blessing and a curse. They seem unnaturally easy for Graduate level course because all I have to do is read and post, read and post. But at the same time, there is no interaction with my classmates beyond my (required) b.s. reply to their posted discussions. I am truly enjoying the information, though. Many of my classmates are actual teachers, looking to specialize or just get that boost in salary for having a masters. It seems to me they must have a lot to offer and seeing/interacting with them in a classroom might make some of their teacher-ness rub off on me. Yes, I said teacher-ness and I was an English major, deal with it.
My most recent assignment required an in-depth study of an early childhood program that has proven successful. I chose "Virtual Pre-K". It's a fantastic program designed to foster school, home and community involvement. It suggests at-home and out and about activities that families can do together. It is currently only available in limited areas, but I think the concepts can be taken anywhere. It encourages activities such as taking a child to the laundromat or the docotr's office to display roles and responsibilities at home and in society in action. Anyway, the information felt valuable, so the class must be doing something good - online or not.
As the semester nears its end, my final assignments are scary research papers. Should be my forte, but my procrastination skills just might thwart attempts at a good effort. So why would I be considering 3 classes? Two of them would be honest-to-goodness classes with meeting times and a lecture hall. One is required and the others seem really interesting. "Guiding and Facilitating Social Competency" and "Communicative Arts in Early Childhood Education", sounds riveting. No, really, I'm excited for these classes.
The only problem with 3 classes is that I am unaccustomed to spreading myself so thin. Hopefully by next semester I will be subsititute teaching in addition to working with extended-day. Work + school + boyfriend + life in general, can I do it? Here's hoping. It's been quite awhile since I juggled full-time schooling with the rest of my life.
I am considering taking 3 classes next semester as opposed to 2. Both of my classes were online this semester which has been both a blessing and a curse. They seem unnaturally easy for Graduate level course because all I have to do is read and post, read and post. But at the same time, there is no interaction with my classmates beyond my (required) b.s. reply to their posted discussions. I am truly enjoying the information, though. Many of my classmates are actual teachers, looking to specialize or just get that boost in salary for having a masters. It seems to me they must have a lot to offer and seeing/interacting with them in a classroom might make some of their teacher-ness rub off on me. Yes, I said teacher-ness and I was an English major, deal with it.
My most recent assignment required an in-depth study of an early childhood program that has proven successful. I chose "Virtual Pre-K". It's a fantastic program designed to foster school, home and community involvement. It suggests at-home and out and about activities that families can do together. It is currently only available in limited areas, but I think the concepts can be taken anywhere. It encourages activities such as taking a child to the laundromat or the docotr's office to display roles and responsibilities at home and in society in action. Anyway, the information felt valuable, so the class must be doing something good - online or not.
As the semester nears its end, my final assignments are scary research papers. Should be my forte, but my procrastination skills just might thwart attempts at a good effort. So why would I be considering 3 classes? Two of them would be honest-to-goodness classes with meeting times and a lecture hall. One is required and the others seem really interesting. "Guiding and Facilitating Social Competency" and "Communicative Arts in Early Childhood Education", sounds riveting. No, really, I'm excited for these classes.
The only problem with 3 classes is that I am unaccustomed to spreading myself so thin. Hopefully by next semester I will be subsititute teaching in addition to working with extended-day. Work + school + boyfriend + life in general, can I do it? Here's hoping. It's been quite awhile since I juggled full-time schooling with the rest of my life.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Pleased and disappointed
Phantom of the Opera - Everything I wished it would be, and so much more!
Electoral Results - Please don't let amendement 2 pass, Florida. Please. We all deserve the right to marry, no matter who it is.
Electoral Results - Please don't let amendement 2 pass, Florida. Please. We all deserve the right to marry, no matter who it is.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Focus, Focus, Focus
I have a tall order in front of me in terms of what needs to get done, t-o-d-a-y. Here is how that plan flew right out the window...
Item 1: Wake up by 9:30 - Failed miserably and slept in until 11:00am.
Item 2: Workout - did half the elliptical time I usually do, but then did ab/arm work at home to make up for it.
Item 3: Go to work, be patient and helpful - check!
Item 4: Come home from work and get straight to work on assignment that's due by midnight - Epic failure, took a nap after eating a bowl of ice cream.
Item 5: Make dinner, bring it to the theater and have a nice, healthy meal with Ryan - Colossal failure, ate General Tso's chicken and noodles, but only half so as not to consume 1500 calories in one sitting
Item 6: Clean the apartment after dinner to avoid severe embarrassment when guests arrive tomorrow - can't clean until Item 4 is complete
Item 7: Get to be early enough to try again tomorrow - pending Items 4 and 6
Oy.
Item 1: Wake up by 9:30 - Failed miserably and slept in until 11:00am.
Item 2: Workout - did half the elliptical time I usually do, but then did ab/arm work at home to make up for it.
Item 3: Go to work, be patient and helpful - check!
Item 4: Come home from work and get straight to work on assignment that's due by midnight - Epic failure, took a nap after eating a bowl of ice cream.
Item 5: Make dinner, bring it to the theater and have a nice, healthy meal with Ryan - Colossal failure, ate General Tso's chicken and noodles, but only half so as not to consume 1500 calories in one sitting
Item 6: Clean the apartment after dinner to avoid severe embarrassment when guests arrive tomorrow - can't clean until Item 4 is complete
Item 7: Get to be early enough to try again tomorrow - pending Items 4 and 6
Oy.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
No bedtime, no alarm clocks
Since we have moved here, I have gotten out of control with my sleep schedule. For a couple of weeks, I had things under control, not going to bed too late and not sleeping in like a lazy kid. Lately though, I go to bed anywhere between 11:00pm and 4:00am. Last night was one of those super late nights which led to sleeping in until noon.
I tried to go to sleep at midnight with big dreams of getting up around 9 and hitting the gym. I was even in bed by 11:30. The problem was that after dinner Ryan and I stopped by Starbucks where I specifically said I wanted a DECAF Pumpkin Spice latte. Around 2:30am when I realized my brain was still not shutting down, I was cursing the barista for screwing it up! I was still wide awake at 3:15 when Ryan came home. He made it less of a predicament by setting up one of our new favorite board games "Ticket to Ride". It is a very simple and quick game, but very entertaining. After kicking his butt twice in a row, we tried the whole "going to sleep" thing again. At. four. thirty. AM. and that's after we turned the clocks for daylight saving time people.
I am surprisingly not tired though and my brain hasn't felt as sluggish as I hurry through the 3 days of "homework is due by midnight"! I just prefer my caffeine in the morning.
In other news, November is NaBloPoMo. I have not chosen to officially participate, but I certainly enjoy the daily posts of those who do! I am not nearly as prolific as many, nor is my life as interesting. Good luck to those crazy bloggers who are going for it though!
I tried to go to sleep at midnight with big dreams of getting up around 9 and hitting the gym. I was even in bed by 11:30. The problem was that after dinner Ryan and I stopped by Starbucks where I specifically said I wanted a DECAF Pumpkin Spice latte. Around 2:30am when I realized my brain was still not shutting down, I was cursing the barista for screwing it up! I was still wide awake at 3:15 when Ryan came home. He made it less of a predicament by setting up one of our new favorite board games "Ticket to Ride". It is a very simple and quick game, but very entertaining. After kicking his butt twice in a row, we tried the whole "going to sleep" thing again. At. four. thirty. AM. and that's after we turned the clocks for daylight saving time people.
I am surprisingly not tired though and my brain hasn't felt as sluggish as I hurry through the 3 days of "homework is due by midnight"! I just prefer my caffeine in the morning.
In other news, November is NaBloPoMo. I have not chosen to officially participate, but I certainly enjoy the daily posts of those who do! I am not nearly as prolific as many, nor is my life as interesting. Good luck to those crazy bloggers who are going for it though!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Recipe for disaster
The other day, I was looking through the pantry to see what types of stuff we had on hand. For some reason or another we have accumulated a lot of ingredients for a variety of things, not many of which can be combined together for something tasty. What is "cream of tartar"anyway? And how did we end up with 3 things of cinnamon spices or 3 things of lemon pepper? Ryan doesn't even like lemon-flavored foods. What on earth will we do with a pound of corn starch or 48 ounces of canola oil? We even have rice vinegar in case we ever want to make sticky rice for sushi. Yeah. Right. Like that's going to happen anytime soon!
I started reading through the labels, checking for expiration dates and maybe a hint as to what I could do with them. Some of these random ingredients have recipes on the back. Also, somewhere in my reading I learned that corn starch can sometimes be used in place of flour. On the back of the box of the spare vanilla extract (yes, we have 2 little bottles for some unknown reason), there was a recipe for sugar cookies.
As I read the ingredients, I realized we had everything but the butter and baking soda. So, industrious little me went to Publix, acquired the missing ingredients, enlisted Ryan's help and set to baking. We replaced 2 1/3 cups of flour with a little over 1 cup of corn starch, mixed all the other ingredients together as directed, placed the mix into the fridge, waited 2 hours for the dough to firm and then got it ready for the oven. The timer was set for 10 minutes and we waited impatiently, anxiously awaiting our sure-to-be-delicious sugar cookies. What we found when the timer went off and opened the stove was pure disaster:
That looks nothing like delicious, fresh baked sugar cookies! Apparently, I cannot be trusted in the kitchen. Unfortunately for Ryan, I also cannot stay away from baking endeavors.
Needless to say our carmelized sugar and slowly burning batter set off the fire alarm:
Turns out, you can only replace flour with corn starch when you are using it to thicken sauces and gravies. Hence the overflowing sugar gobs and fire alarm. And to make things even more entertaining, I later found a HUGE-MONGOUS box of baking soda.
Silver lining? The stove received a very thorough cleaning. We finished one bottle of vanilla extract and half the container of cream of tartar, though I am still not sure what it does.
We tried again today and the results were decidedly better:
Next week, we're going to try making pecan pie...
I started reading through the labels, checking for expiration dates and maybe a hint as to what I could do with them. Some of these random ingredients have recipes on the back. Also, somewhere in my reading I learned that corn starch can sometimes be used in place of flour. On the back of the box of the spare vanilla extract (yes, we have 2 little bottles for some unknown reason), there was a recipe for sugar cookies.
As I read the ingredients, I realized we had everything but the butter and baking soda. So, industrious little me went to Publix, acquired the missing ingredients, enlisted Ryan's help and set to baking. We replaced 2 1/3 cups of flour with a little over 1 cup of corn starch, mixed all the other ingredients together as directed, placed the mix into the fridge, waited 2 hours for the dough to firm and then got it ready for the oven. The timer was set for 10 minutes and we waited impatiently, anxiously awaiting our sure-to-be-delicious sugar cookies. What we found when the timer went off and opened the stove was pure disaster:
That looks nothing like delicious, fresh baked sugar cookies! Apparently, I cannot be trusted in the kitchen. Unfortunately for Ryan, I also cannot stay away from baking endeavors.Needless to say our carmelized sugar and slowly burning batter set off the fire alarm:
Turns out, you can only replace flour with corn starch when you are using it to thicken sauces and gravies. Hence the overflowing sugar gobs and fire alarm. And to make things even more entertaining, I later found a HUGE-MONGOUS box of baking soda.
Silver lining? The stove received a very thorough cleaning. We finished one bottle of vanilla extract and half the container of cream of tartar, though I am still not sure what it does.
We tried again today and the results were decidedly better:
Next week, we're going to try making pecan pie...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Randomness
I have to say it: I love my job. It is challenging every day to keep my patience and maintain some semblance of sanity amidst the sea of 100+ children for 3 hours a day Monday through Friday, but somehow it fits me well. Of course, I am only in my 4th week, so things are still new and different, yet the fact that every day is somewhat different from the day before makes me think that it won't get old super fast.
Unfortunately, the school is undergoing construction, which means there is no playground accessible. This seems tragically unfair because what school day is complete without expending a little bit of energy on the swingset or the monkey bars? Enter the challenging aspect of my job: No outdoor playtime = cabin-fever Pre-k thru 5th graders. Eek! It's also a shame because the weather has taken a turn for the lovely here in Florida these last couple of days. A beautiful cold front has brought bright, sunshiny days, a cool breeze and a cool temperature of 65-70 degress. It would be great to play outside in this weather!
Fall is my favorite season, hands down. Hot chocolate, warm, fuzzy slippers, hoodies - who doesn't look good in one? The always-funny trick of placing icy cold fingers on your beloved's back is also a perk of fall.
And now, here is a bug:
We found this big guy by the mail boxes the other day. Also in the picture is Ryan's lovely hand as a size comparison. If you can, click on the picture and check out the intricate details of the moth's wings. It was really incredible.
Thank you. Goodnight.
Unfortunately, the school is undergoing construction, which means there is no playground accessible. This seems tragically unfair because what school day is complete without expending a little bit of energy on the swingset or the monkey bars? Enter the challenging aspect of my job: No outdoor playtime = cabin-fever Pre-k thru 5th graders. Eek! It's also a shame because the weather has taken a turn for the lovely here in Florida these last couple of days. A beautiful cold front has brought bright, sunshiny days, a cool breeze and a cool temperature of 65-70 degress. It would be great to play outside in this weather!
Fall is my favorite season, hands down. Hot chocolate, warm, fuzzy slippers, hoodies - who doesn't look good in one? The always-funny trick of placing icy cold fingers on your beloved's back is also a perk of fall.
And now, here is a bug:
We found this big guy by the mail boxes the other day. Also in the picture is Ryan's lovely hand as a size comparison. If you can, click on the picture and check out the intricate details of the moth's wings. It was really incredible.
Thank you. Goodnight.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Wahooo! I finished my homework and turned in my assignments on time!
In other news, I am utterly exhausted. Last night I was up until the wee hours of the morning, tossing and turning. Mostly, I was just stuck inside my own head, worrying. Apparently for me, the terrorists aren't foreigners threatening the safety of our nation, but locals who seem not to care about people in general. I received an email the other day from UCF - one of those general letters to students about safety. It spoke of an armed robbery that happened last week, not 10 miles away from where I live. 2 men held another man at gun point, forced him to drive to an atm, withdraw money and then drop them off at another point. He only received a sharp blow to the head when the robbers first got to him, but the stress of the situation must have been through the roof! Of course, there will be violence wherever I choose to live, it is inescapable. But sometimes, the fear of that type of situation, especially so close to home (literally), can really shake my world.
Ryan's suggestion is to "just think about something else". Easier said than done my friend, easier said than done. My efforts to think of something else had me watching a show about "Amazing Cakes" at 4am. Clearly, that is not conducive to a good night's sleep.
In other news, I am utterly exhausted. Last night I was up until the wee hours of the morning, tossing and turning. Mostly, I was just stuck inside my own head, worrying. Apparently for me, the terrorists aren't foreigners threatening the safety of our nation, but locals who seem not to care about people in general. I received an email the other day from UCF - one of those general letters to students about safety. It spoke of an armed robbery that happened last week, not 10 miles away from where I live. 2 men held another man at gun point, forced him to drive to an atm, withdraw money and then drop them off at another point. He only received a sharp blow to the head when the robbers first got to him, but the stress of the situation must have been through the roof! Of course, there will be violence wherever I choose to live, it is inescapable. But sometimes, the fear of that type of situation, especially so close to home (literally), can really shake my world.
Ryan's suggestion is to "just think about something else". Easier said than done my friend, easier said than done. My efforts to think of something else had me watching a show about "Amazing Cakes" at 4am. Clearly, that is not conducive to a good night's sleep.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Now let's see...
venti coffee - check
homework - check
books - check
motivation - missing, last seen before the cruise. If anyone has any information regarding its whereabouts, please contact me immediately.
homework - check
books - check
motivation - missing, last seen before the cruise. If anyone has any information regarding its whereabouts, please contact me immediately.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I an no longer worhtless!
Ladies and gentleman, I finally have a job. I got a message from Seminole County Public Schools while I was on the cruise. We got in touch today and she said I can start today if I wanted to. I am officially an extended-day care "Child Care Provider". Holla.
My first day was interesting. There were about 100 or so kids and 6 adults. Some of the women working there were kind of terrifying, think tall, large women shouting at children to sit down and be quiet for the first 20 minutes. I chose a more quiet, and somewhat more effective method of pacing the tables and asking them to quiet down. I'm not sure that I would be happy with my kid getting screamed at if I were a parent. I think in some ways it was necessary to get control over the large group of children, but the shouting was a bit excessive.
It'll be good experience. We spend about an hour helping the kids with their homework by age group and then playing games and doing small activities. I was assigned to work with the 2nd graders which couldn't have been more perfect for me. I'm trying to learn as much as I can about that particular age group, so going over their work and looking at the activities/homework helps me see what level they're working on.
Everyone I work with seems friendly and the kids, though rambunctious, seem manageable. I am so thankful to be employed! It has really eased my mind.
My first day was interesting. There were about 100 or so kids and 6 adults. Some of the women working there were kind of terrifying, think tall, large women shouting at children to sit down and be quiet for the first 20 minutes. I chose a more quiet, and somewhat more effective method of pacing the tables and asking them to quiet down. I'm not sure that I would be happy with my kid getting screamed at if I were a parent. I think in some ways it was necessary to get control over the large group of children, but the shouting was a bit excessive.
It'll be good experience. We spend about an hour helping the kids with their homework by age group and then playing games and doing small activities. I was assigned to work with the 2nd graders which couldn't have been more perfect for me. I'm trying to learn as much as I can about that particular age group, so going over their work and looking at the activities/homework helps me see what level they're working on.
Everyone I work with seems friendly and the kids, though rambunctious, seem manageable. I am so thankful to be employed! It has really eased my mind.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Welcome Home!
We're back! We had a fantastic time sailing the Caribbean, visiting Key West, Cozumel and Belize. The food was delicious and the company was even better. Dinnertime was everyone's favorite part of the day. What other time will you have 2 people serving you anything you ask for? Guilly and Bahadir a.k.a. John Travolta always remembered our drinks, Mike's allergies and they were always so friendly! The weather was absolutely gorgeous. There were a couple of days on the boat where we could really feel the waves, but for the most part it was smooth sailing.
Some nights after dinner, Ryan and I played Scrabble. One day, Ryan, his mom and I played Monopoly. Ryan beat us handily, though he hit some hard times with taxes on his plethora of hotels and houses.
We went on a cave tubing excursion in Belize. There was a 35 minute hike down to the river, followed by a slow ride through a couple of caves. We made a human chain on our tubes and used our headlights to see through the dark caves. I was kind of creeped out by the darkness and the bats nestled above us. It was an interesting experience. The water wasn't terribly cold, except when it dripped down on us from above which added to the creepiness.
Anywya, we had a great time and here are the pictures to prove it:
Me and Ryan in the Solarium.
The first day we had lunch in the Windjammer Cafe.
Some nights after dinner, Ryan and I played Scrabble. One day, Ryan, his mom and I played Monopoly. Ryan beat us handily, though he hit some hard times with taxes on his plethora of hotels and houses.
We went on a cave tubing excursion in Belize. There was a 35 minute hike down to the river, followed by a slow ride through a couple of caves. We made a human chain on our tubes and used our headlights to see through the dark caves. I was kind of creeped out by the darkness and the bats nestled above us. It was an interesting experience. The water wasn't terribly cold, except when it dripped down on us from above which added to the creepiness.
Anywya, we had a great time and here are the pictures to prove it:
Me and Ryan in the Solarium.
The first day we had lunch in the Windjammer Cafe.
Ryan's mom won the first night's raffle! A huge bottle of rum.
The nightly shots with special shot glasses. There was a different color for every night. Nina's shot glass had pineapple juice and cranberry juice. Mine was something way too strong for my taste. Ryan downed it for me.
Here we are on formal night. 
Now it's back to the every day life in Florida for all of us. We will definitely have to plan another trip soon!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Fall in love
Today is me and Ryan's 4 year anniversary! After all these years together, it still melts my heart to look into his eyes and see how much he loves me. We had a spectacular day just hanging out together.
We started a tradition of going to Stonewood Grill and Tavern for our anniversary dinners every year. We always order basically the same thing, he gets a steak, I get the porkchops and then I'm always jealous of his steak. You'd think I would learn to just order the steak, but not yet. I ordered the chops again this year and envied his steak the whole time. And why doesn't Stonewood have regular, good ol' fashioned broccoli? They have some weird relative of broccoli which is nowhere near tasting good. I'm just saying.
This is us on our 1 year anniversary:
2 years together:
Anyway, we are happily in love.
We started a tradition of going to Stonewood Grill and Tavern for our anniversary dinners every year. We always order basically the same thing, he gets a steak, I get the porkchops and then I'm always jealous of his steak. You'd think I would learn to just order the steak, but not yet. I ordered the chops again this year and envied his steak the whole time. And why doesn't Stonewood have regular, good ol' fashioned broccoli? They have some weird relative of broccoli which is nowhere near tasting good. I'm just saying.
This is us on our 1 year anniversary:
2 years together:
We didn't have pictures from the actual day in 2007, so here's a picture of us on our first cruise. We were, together, a full 42 pounds heavier! 3 years:
For our anniversary last night, I made a second attempt at baking. I chose to use a metal pan instead of a glass one as a precautionary move. This time the cake actually made it into the oven. See? 
And finally, here we are with our lovely cake. Strawberry supreme with butter creme icing. The lettering is supposed to be red, but apprently it takes a million drops of red food coloring to make icing the red I wanted. I settled for that shade of pink.
On a side note, whenever I make a card or anything artsy for our anniversary, I always spell "anniversary" wrong. I spelled it wrong on the cake this time...I shouldn't have been an English major.
Anyway, we are happily in love.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
disaster in the kitchen
I've never exactly been a great cook. I put together very simple meals for Ryan and I, not venturing too far out in recipes. I frequently miss an ingredient there, burn something a little here, just little things that don't exactly ruin a meal, but don't make them gourmet either.
Today, I was making a blueberry bread out of the mix instead of the run of the mill muffins. I was even going to try a new glaze to go over it. It was going to be so tasty and I was very excited.
Ryan was standing behind me washing the dishes. I had used pretty much all of the very limited counterspace we have to work on the bread. The oven was preheating and I was trying to get at a piece of tape. The box for the muffin mix was taped close at some point, the tape landed on the counter and then got stuck to the baking dish. And then the whole glass dish filled with blueberry goodness (which was completely ready to go in the oven) slipped out of my hands and shattered on the tile floor. My pants were covered in blueberry goo and there was glass and the rest of the mix everywhere. All I could do was stand there and stare at the mess. All hopes of a new vanilla glaze atop a fresh take on blueberry muffins were out the window. I can't remember a time when I have broken a dish like that. It was my mom's loaf baking dish, too. I've had it for years, but somehow she can always walk into my kitchen and point out what used to belong to her.
Anyway, we cleaned up the mess and headed to Publix because I was still craving something sweet. We ended up with a slice of key lime pie, a boston creme something and buy one get one free cake mixes. In the next couple of days, I will try the whole baking thing again. Strawberry supreme cake with a light vanilla glaze sounds scrumptious. We have family coming in on Sunday night, so we can all take off for the cruise together on Monday. They can help us eat the yumminess if it doesn't land on the floor.
Today, I was making a blueberry bread out of the mix instead of the run of the mill muffins. I was even going to try a new glaze to go over it. It was going to be so tasty and I was very excited.
Ryan was standing behind me washing the dishes. I had used pretty much all of the very limited counterspace we have to work on the bread. The oven was preheating and I was trying to get at a piece of tape. The box for the muffin mix was taped close at some point, the tape landed on the counter and then got stuck to the baking dish. And then the whole glass dish filled with blueberry goodness (which was completely ready to go in the oven) slipped out of my hands and shattered on the tile floor. My pants were covered in blueberry goo and there was glass and the rest of the mix everywhere. All I could do was stand there and stare at the mess. All hopes of a new vanilla glaze atop a fresh take on blueberry muffins were out the window. I can't remember a time when I have broken a dish like that. It was my mom's loaf baking dish, too. I've had it for years, but somehow she can always walk into my kitchen and point out what used to belong to her.
Anyway, we cleaned up the mess and headed to Publix because I was still craving something sweet. We ended up with a slice of key lime pie, a boston creme something and buy one get one free cake mixes. In the next couple of days, I will try the whole baking thing again. Strawberry supreme cake with a light vanilla glaze sounds scrumptious. We have family coming in on Sunday night, so we can all take off for the cruise together on Monday. They can help us eat the yumminess if it doesn't land on the floor.
Monday, September 8, 2008
I am the QUEEN of homework and job applications
I have never in my life been such a good student. I created an organized outline of all of the things that I need to do just this week for school. There is so much to do! It was all sitting in the back of mind like a living, breathing blob resting on my brain. I had to get it out, hence the organized outline where I could see it broken down by day and not feel so bogged down. I actually got ahead of schedule yesterday, which prompted serious slacking off tonight. Other areas of slacking off include working out and charging my phone (::goes to plug in phone to end the disruptive beep-beep of said dying phone::).
I filled out several applications today. I have my stats memorized so throroughly I could read them to you in my sleep. Though I am slightly stressed about the job situation, I somehow feel like it will really all work out in the end. At least my homework is benefiting from all the free time lately.
In better news, we leave for the cruise in 21 days. My life can't be that hard, right?
I filled out several applications today. I have my stats memorized so throroughly I could read them to you in my sleep. Though I am slightly stressed about the job situation, I somehow feel like it will really all work out in the end. At least my homework is benefiting from all the free time lately.
In better news, we leave for the cruise in 21 days. My life can't be that hard, right?
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
One Month
I have been unemployed for one full month as of yesterday. I think I am going to really lose my mind pretty soon. I have been working on keeping some sort of structure to my days; trying not to go to bed too late or sleep in too much. I've gotten into a good rhythm of getting up early-ish every morning, working out every other day or so. The apartment is looking cleaner than any apartment I've ever called home.
School started last week (thank goodness). I am still anxiously awaiting a book in the mail. I have a lot of reading to do once that gets here. I'm not usually an over-the-top kind of student. I do what I need to do to get a decent grade, but I think the topics are increasingly more interesting this time around. The classes I'm taking are semi-overlapping one another which is helpful and confusing when I'm doing short anwer quizzes. It's all about how children perceive their surroundings, how it influences them, how researchers study child behaviors in certain situations and who plays a role in a child's development. For some that may be boring, for me it is very interesting. I wanted to say it's fascinating, but I think that would put me in the "big dork" group for being so interested in school. Except that I do find it fascinating. Oh well. Big dork it is.
I had a job interview last week. I haven't heard from the guy, so I'm thinking I haven't been chosen. I am currently going through the application process to become an extended-day care assistant. At least that would put me a classroom or at least in charge of a group of little people. Eventually, things will come together for me to start substitute teaching. I am anxious to see what it's like to stand in front of a group of children, without the help of a teacher who actually knows what he or she is doing. Anyway, I need a job and I need it soon.
School started last week (thank goodness). I am still anxiously awaiting a book in the mail. I have a lot of reading to do once that gets here. I'm not usually an over-the-top kind of student. I do what I need to do to get a decent grade, but I think the topics are increasingly more interesting this time around. The classes I'm taking are semi-overlapping one another which is helpful and confusing when I'm doing short anwer quizzes. It's all about how children perceive their surroundings, how it influences them, how researchers study child behaviors in certain situations and who plays a role in a child's development. For some that may be boring, for me it is very interesting. I wanted to say it's fascinating, but I think that would put me in the "big dork" group for being so interested in school. Except that I do find it fascinating. Oh well. Big dork it is.
I had a job interview last week. I haven't heard from the guy, so I'm thinking I haven't been chosen. I am currently going through the application process to become an extended-day care assistant. At least that would put me a classroom or at least in charge of a group of little people. Eventually, things will come together for me to start substitute teaching. I am anxious to see what it's like to stand in front of a group of children, without the help of a teacher who actually knows what he or she is doing. Anyway, I need a job and I need it soon.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Coloring book anyone?
When I was a kid, I loved my crayons. I hated when Nina would break them or lose them. My favorite color was cerulean. Do you think you know your crayons?
http://www.crayola.com/promos/64boxBirthday/colorQuizzer.cfm
There are some new colors that I couldn't identify. Those kids choice colors aren't named as well as good ol' Granny Smith Apple or Robin's Egg Blue. What kind of color is "Best friends"? Seriously? Good luck.
http://www.crayola.com/promos/64boxBirthday/colorQuizzer.cfm
There are some new colors that I couldn't identify. Those kids choice colors aren't named as well as good ol' Granny Smith Apple or Robin's Egg Blue. What kind of color is "Best friends"? Seriously? Good luck.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
back and back again
I'm back from my first vacation and I'm back in school, all on the same day.
My family and I safely returned from our cruise yesterday afternoon. We took a 3-day adventure to the Bahamas in lieu of our usual 2 week cross country driving trip. We simply could not find 2 consecutive weeks for all of us to get together. So, we opted for a short trip. The goal was to bring us all together and we accomplished just that. I must say, I had a fantastic time. We all got along really well. My parents loved it! The food, the activities, the relaxtion -- it was all top notch!
The first day we were in Nassau. We did a segway excursion for about 2.5 hours. Nina's face in all of the pictures was sheer terror. It was all about balance and trusting the segway which Nina could not seem to grasp all at once. She said she had fun, but was just a bit nervous. Understandable. My sister-in-law (poor girl will never live it down) crashed her speeding segway into a flag pole and threw herself off. It took her awhile to feel steady on her feet again, but she was alright. All in all we had a blast. Pictures to follow once they've all been compiled.
The second day we walked around the beaches of Great Stirrup Cay. We played around on kayaks and did a little shopping at the market. It started to rain halfway through the day, but by that time we had had our fill and were ready to head back to the boat anyway.
Tropical storm Fay did little more than keep us cooled off throughout the whole trip. It was rainy, but not stormy, wet but not unbearable. Whenever the sun would beat down on us, the clouds would roll in and cool everything off. The rain never got in the way of anything we wanted to do and we couldn't have asked for better conditions. We all want to do it again next year and that's more than I can say for the usual driving trip. I am so thankful to my parents for working so hard to get us together every year, no matter what it takes. I took it for granted growing up. Now, I can see why it's so important. Every trip creates a cache of memories that will keep us together in the years to come.
Monday was the first day of school. It's weird to be enrolled in school again, after feeling so free when I finished the first time. I am looking forward to being a student again. I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm already working out how I'm going to get a good amount of studying time into my life combined with work, family, friends and me time.
Things are starting to line up neatly. It hasn't been easy getting to this point; patience and Ryan's help got me through.
P.S. On the drive to the cruise port, I finally had the opportunity to talk to my family about what happened with my aunt. My mother was furious that my aunt confronted me the way she did. My dad said that he never cried over it as my aunt claimed he did. They are in no way devestated by the way I live my life. My aunt had not even talked to my parents before talking to me, so there was no way for her to know what they were thinking or feeling about it all. They all (brother, sister, mom and pop), in their own way, told me that they loved me and that they know who I am and are proud of me as I am. I couldn't be any more thankful for my family's support.
My family and I safely returned from our cruise yesterday afternoon. We took a 3-day adventure to the Bahamas in lieu of our usual 2 week cross country driving trip. We simply could not find 2 consecutive weeks for all of us to get together. So, we opted for a short trip. The goal was to bring us all together and we accomplished just that. I must say, I had a fantastic time. We all got along really well. My parents loved it! The food, the activities, the relaxtion -- it was all top notch!
The first day we were in Nassau. We did a segway excursion for about 2.5 hours. Nina's face in all of the pictures was sheer terror. It was all about balance and trusting the segway which Nina could not seem to grasp all at once. She said she had fun, but was just a bit nervous. Understandable. My sister-in-law (poor girl will never live it down) crashed her speeding segway into a flag pole and threw herself off. It took her awhile to feel steady on her feet again, but she was alright. All in all we had a blast. Pictures to follow once they've all been compiled.
The second day we walked around the beaches of Great Stirrup Cay. We played around on kayaks and did a little shopping at the market. It started to rain halfway through the day, but by that time we had had our fill and were ready to head back to the boat anyway.
Tropical storm Fay did little more than keep us cooled off throughout the whole trip. It was rainy, but not stormy, wet but not unbearable. Whenever the sun would beat down on us, the clouds would roll in and cool everything off. The rain never got in the way of anything we wanted to do and we couldn't have asked for better conditions. We all want to do it again next year and that's more than I can say for the usual driving trip. I am so thankful to my parents for working so hard to get us together every year, no matter what it takes. I took it for granted growing up. Now, I can see why it's so important. Every trip creates a cache of memories that will keep us together in the years to come.
Monday was the first day of school. It's weird to be enrolled in school again, after feeling so free when I finished the first time. I am looking forward to being a student again. I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm already working out how I'm going to get a good amount of studying time into my life combined with work, family, friends and me time.
Things are starting to line up neatly. It hasn't been easy getting to this point; patience and Ryan's help got me through.
P.S. On the drive to the cruise port, I finally had the opportunity to talk to my family about what happened with my aunt. My mother was furious that my aunt confronted me the way she did. My dad said that he never cried over it as my aunt claimed he did. They are in no way devestated by the way I live my life. My aunt had not even talked to my parents before talking to me, so there was no way for her to know what they were thinking or feeling about it all. They all (brother, sister, mom and pop), in their own way, told me that they loved me and that they know who I am and are proud of me as I am. I couldn't be any more thankful for my family's support.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
and another thing...
I tried very hard to hold in my thoughts to spare you all the long and boring rant of ideas that have been scrolling through my head for the past 4 days. But this I could not hold in.
I came from a Catholic home. I once held true to those values that my aunt tried to impress upon me. I did once believe that it was very important to get married before living with a man, before having sex, before having babies. I didn't believe in birth control and I whole-heartedly believed that my salvation was based on living without sin and following the Bible. Living with Ryan has not torn all hope of religion and salvation from my mind and heart. I still believe that spirituality is important, but look more closely at the essence of what values are meaningful to me.
I once belonged to Gator Christian Life - GCL - and felt like I had found lasting friendship and a wholesome faith. I am a believer and yet I still have questions about faith and all that it entails. During my time with GCL, I attended several bridal showers. The focus of these bridal showers seemed to be "you're getting married so you can have sex!" They seemed to have lost all sense of what it means to be married, believing that being marriage just unlocked the box of forbidden fun. No one talked about having a partner for life or celebrating the start of a new journey with someone that you love. I realize that all sounds idyllic and cheesy, but through watching them do it the "holy and sinless" way took away some of the wedding glory.
I left GCL not too long after I joined. I did not leave my faith, however. Living with Ryan has opened me up to see the important things that build the foundation for a significant relationship. I haven't made the choices I made to disappoint my family and I can understand why my deviation from the religious norm has caused them worry. What choices I've made have been to look seriously into what I want my future to look like and to have actual experience to base future decisions.
I came from a Catholic home. I once held true to those values that my aunt tried to impress upon me. I did once believe that it was very important to get married before living with a man, before having sex, before having babies. I didn't believe in birth control and I whole-heartedly believed that my salvation was based on living without sin and following the Bible. Living with Ryan has not torn all hope of religion and salvation from my mind and heart. I still believe that spirituality is important, but look more closely at the essence of what values are meaningful to me.
I once belonged to Gator Christian Life - GCL - and felt like I had found lasting friendship and a wholesome faith. I am a believer and yet I still have questions about faith and all that it entails. During my time with GCL, I attended several bridal showers. The focus of these bridal showers seemed to be "you're getting married so you can have sex!" They seemed to have lost all sense of what it means to be married, believing that being marriage just unlocked the box of forbidden fun. No one talked about having a partner for life or celebrating the start of a new journey with someone that you love. I realize that all sounds idyllic and cheesy, but through watching them do it the "holy and sinless" way took away some of the wedding glory.
I left GCL not too long after I joined. I did not leave my faith, however. Living with Ryan has opened me up to see the important things that build the foundation for a significant relationship. I haven't made the choices I made to disappoint my family and I can understand why my deviation from the religious norm has caused them worry. What choices I've made have been to look seriously into what I want my future to look like and to have actual experience to base future decisions.
le sigh.
This past week, we had family from Canada come to visit. Since it is so cold up there, they are always excited to come to Florida once every 2 years or so. They are from my dad's side of the family; his cousin, Auntie Baby, her husband Uncle Rodel and their kids, Leyna, Larissa, and Laramie (ages 25, 26, and 28). They are particularly religious, well beyond the super-Christians group and into the super-Catholic category. For that reason, I was very adamant not to bring up the fact that I live with Ryan.
I am not sure who told or how/why it came about, but they found out somehow. I went to visit them at their hotel late on the one night they were in town. The girls and I, plus Mike and Nina talked for hours beside the pool. At the very end of the night when we were saying bye, my aunt pulled me aside and lectured me at 2:30am about how it is a sin to live with my boyfriend. She didn't just stop there, oh no, like every "good Catholic" she laid on the guilt. She basically said that my family was devestated about my living situation and that just because I think I'm so in love doesn't mean it's going to last forever. She said my parents were hurt that I had left home and that my cousins who "used to look up to me" are no longer sure of my character. She said that I am still a nice girl, but that I need to change my life. Her solution to the "problem" was to encourage Ryan to marry me, as if I am some marred person that no one else will accept. I told her I feel comfortable with the decision to move in with Ryan and that I do not feel I am doing anything wrong. I do not feel that other people's opinions of my "situation" should have any affect on how I live my life. At the end, I was trying to get away from her as she pulled me gently back by the arm and said she hoped she hadn't offended me. The conversation had brought me to tears and I walked away from her quickly without saying goodbye to the others.
She offended me on a grand scale.
I am who I am and will not make apologies for it. For days, her words tore my heart apart. I felt the need to justify my choices, to confront her and tell her to get to know me before judging. That will not change her opinion or her judgement. This is something between Ryan and I and her opinion matters not.
I am not sure who told or how/why it came about, but they found out somehow. I went to visit them at their hotel late on the one night they were in town. The girls and I, plus Mike and Nina talked for hours beside the pool. At the very end of the night when we were saying bye, my aunt pulled me aside and lectured me at 2:30am about how it is a sin to live with my boyfriend. She didn't just stop there, oh no, like every "good Catholic" she laid on the guilt. She basically said that my family was devestated about my living situation and that just because I think I'm so in love doesn't mean it's going to last forever. She said my parents were hurt that I had left home and that my cousins who "used to look up to me" are no longer sure of my character. She said that I am still a nice girl, but that I need to change my life. Her solution to the "problem" was to encourage Ryan to marry me, as if I am some marred person that no one else will accept. I told her I feel comfortable with the decision to move in with Ryan and that I do not feel I am doing anything wrong. I do not feel that other people's opinions of my "situation" should have any affect on how I live my life. At the end, I was trying to get away from her as she pulled me gently back by the arm and said she hoped she hadn't offended me. The conversation had brought me to tears and I walked away from her quickly without saying goodbye to the others.
She offended me on a grand scale.
I am who I am and will not make apologies for it. For days, her words tore my heart apart. I felt the need to justify my choices, to confront her and tell her to get to know me before judging. That will not change her opinion or her judgement. This is something between Ryan and I and her opinion matters not.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Cabin Fever
I officially don't know what to do with myself. There are clearly things I could be doing (writing thank you notes, cleaning, unpacking, working out...) It has been 10 full days for me in this place. My theory is, I haven't yet come to appreciate it the way a working person might appreciate their home. I haven't yet had to be some place else that would make me want to be home. Every outing with Ryan is a mini-escape. Poor boy, he comes home to me ready to run out the door when all he really wants to do is sit down to paint or go on the computer. We've seen 2 movies, Batman: The Dark Knight (excellent movie) and Pineapple Express (very entertaining), gone on many, many errands, even taking out the trash is like an outing since the distant trash compactor is such a trek.
We have finally gotten the majority of boxes out of the apartment, there are 2 boxes left. They sit in the bedroom mocking me. Today they will meet their death! Other than that, there is just a lot of crap lying around without homes. We took 3 boxes and a couple of bags to Goodwill yesterday. It felt good to be rid of so much stuff.
I still haven't found a job, though I am still hopeful. This stay-at-home-mom thing works better when you have a kid. As I stand now, I am a stay-at-home-nothing. Exciting. I think I'm going to take my exciting self to the pool now. Fortunately, I found my headphones the other day. Hello, Ipod.
goodbye.
We have finally gotten the majority of boxes out of the apartment, there are 2 boxes left. They sit in the bedroom mocking me. Today they will meet their death! Other than that, there is just a lot of crap lying around without homes. We took 3 boxes and a couple of bags to Goodwill yesterday. It felt good to be rid of so much stuff.
I still haven't found a job, though I am still hopeful. This stay-at-home-mom thing works better when you have a kid. As I stand now, I am a stay-at-home-nothing. Exciting. I think I'm going to take my exciting self to the pool now. Fortunately, I found my headphones the other day. Hello, Ipod.
goodbye.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Risk by candlelight
A lightning storm knocked out our power. Under normal situations, it would feel like an inconvenience. Tonight, however, we whipped out some candles and played Risk by candlelight. The power came back about half-way through the game, but we decided it was quite fun to play by candlelight. We singed a few arm hairs and Ryan handily wiped me off the board, but it was definitely a fun night. 
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
boxes, boxes and more boxes...
I have left the colossal task of unpacking and decided to slack off. Job hunting was today, cross your fingers that one of the applications goes through successfully!
Ikea shopping also happened today. For those of you who don't know, my wonderful co-workers (the ones that I liked) all pooled together and gave me a very, very generous gift card to IKEA as a farewell present. I have never felt so grateful and loved at that place, but on my last day there they made it all worth it.
Here are some of my purchases:
Ignore the state of unpacking as seen in the mirror, it's the flowers artfully placed on the mirror. I love them! The double mirrors are a bit intense in the small room, so I made them a little snazzier with the flowers.
Ikea shopping also happened today. For those of you who don't know, my wonderful co-workers (the ones that I liked) all pooled together and gave me a very, very generous gift card to IKEA as a farewell present. I have never felt so grateful and loved at that place, but on my last day there they made it all worth it.
Here are some of my purchases:
Ignore the state of unpacking as seen in the mirror, it's the flowers artfully placed on the mirror. I love them! The double mirrors are a bit intense in the small room, so I made them a little snazzier with the flowers.My other purchase today was:
This is a fairly large canvas wall art thing. I have been eyeing it for months and it went on sale (twice). It was a steal at $30, that's $50 off regular price!
I picked up a few other things, but those are my favorites. Once we have confirmation that we are or are not moving to Seattle, I will move forward with decorating and nesting. For now, we are saving boxes and making the living space, well, live-able.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Welcome to Oviedo
Ryan and I spent our first night in our new apartment on Saturday night. I only got to spend one night there b/c I had to trek back to Gainesville for one last week of work.
We didn't get all of our deposit back from the old aparmtent. I am bitterly sad about that b/c my mom, Ryan and I put our blood, sweat and tears into cleaning that place. I touched a toilet in places I've never wanted to even look at. Toilets are so not my job! I re-caulked 2 bathtubs and mopped floors on my hands and knees. Ryan worked his cleaning magic on 2 of the toilets. In short, there was a whole lote of work that went into that place. I won't say that the apt. complex manager was unfair. I definitely saw the spots that she was saying were dirty, but it was heartbreaking to see things that we could have taken care of if the move had gone down more smoothly. The good news is, we will get at least some of the money back and the whole mess is over now.
I'm camping out in my friend's living room for the week while Ryan lives by himself in our cute little apartment. We are far from unpacked, but already I am in love with the place. Stoneridge was a place to live, we kept our stuff there and it worked for what we needed. The new place in Oviedo is so adorable, so comfortable, and so much better fitted to us. It is strange to think that I am no longer a Gainesville resident. I've been whining forever about how I want to get out and suddenly I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. There is a mountain of boxes to climb through before I'm on the other side, but nonetheless, my new life has already begun.
My plans for Monday are to lay out in the sun beside the pool (sans 20 pounds). I have not yet had a chance to enjoy my new bathing suit. It has been a very long time since I've not had a job and no major responsibilities and I'm looking forward to relaxing for a day. Of course, bright and early on Tuesday morning, I will begin the serious job hunt. I've been looking online and applying for school jobs, but it will be much easier when I am actually in town.
And now I leave you with some tips for moving: bring toilet paper to the new place, leave some nail polish where it is easily found (your toes will thank you later), and remember to thank your parents for thinking to cook you food for the moving days.
We didn't get all of our deposit back from the old aparmtent. I am bitterly sad about that b/c my mom, Ryan and I put our blood, sweat and tears into cleaning that place. I touched a toilet in places I've never wanted to even look at. Toilets are so not my job! I re-caulked 2 bathtubs and mopped floors on my hands and knees. Ryan worked his cleaning magic on 2 of the toilets. In short, there was a whole lote of work that went into that place. I won't say that the apt. complex manager was unfair. I definitely saw the spots that she was saying were dirty, but it was heartbreaking to see things that we could have taken care of if the move had gone down more smoothly. The good news is, we will get at least some of the money back and the whole mess is over now.
I'm camping out in my friend's living room for the week while Ryan lives by himself in our cute little apartment. We are far from unpacked, but already I am in love with the place. Stoneridge was a place to live, we kept our stuff there and it worked for what we needed. The new place in Oviedo is so adorable, so comfortable, and so much better fitted to us. It is strange to think that I am no longer a Gainesville resident. I've been whining forever about how I want to get out and suddenly I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. There is a mountain of boxes to climb through before I'm on the other side, but nonetheless, my new life has already begun.
My plans for Monday are to lay out in the sun beside the pool (sans 20 pounds). I have not yet had a chance to enjoy my new bathing suit. It has been a very long time since I've not had a job and no major responsibilities and I'm looking forward to relaxing for a day. Of course, bright and early on Tuesday morning, I will begin the serious job hunt. I've been looking online and applying for school jobs, but it will be much easier when I am actually in town.
And now I leave you with some tips for moving: bring toilet paper to the new place, leave some nail polish where it is easily found (your toes will thank you later), and remember to thank your parents for thinking to cook you food for the moving days.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The Wandering Game
Lately Ryan and I have been playing what I like to call the "Wandering Game". You get a box all ready for packing, put the few main things in that you set up the box for in the first place, and then you spend the next 15 minutes wandering around the apartment finding things to fill the rest of the box up. Each night usually ends with one box that isn't quite full. This late in the game though, it gets harder and harder to find things to fill boxes.
The other game we play is to put stuff out beside the dumpster and then see how quickly it disappears. It's dumpster diving season in Gainesville. I always thought that people could be so wasteful, but then I realized that the community is completely aware of the massive moving of apartments that goes on every July. People drive around with trailers, truck or SUV's from one dumpster to the next. It's worked out really well for Ryan and I to have the dumpster right outside our back door. When we first moved in, there was a blue rocking chair by the dumpster. I swiped it in the hopes of restoring it. It ended up in a closet for the entire 2 years that we lived here. It went back out to the dumpster and was gone in less than an hour.
We have gotten rid of so much stuff. I'm anxious to see how all the rest of our stuff will fit into a much smaller place. I'm hopeful that we will be approved for the new apartment early in the week. Tomorrow is Monday again, it is the start of my last two weeks. I can't tell you how excited I am to be moving on!
Maybe tonight I will finish that box in the kitchen...
The other game we play is to put stuff out beside the dumpster and then see how quickly it disappears. It's dumpster diving season in Gainesville. I always thought that people could be so wasteful, but then I realized that the community is completely aware of the massive moving of apartments that goes on every July. People drive around with trailers, truck or SUV's from one dumpster to the next. It's worked out really well for Ryan and I to have the dumpster right outside our back door. When we first moved in, there was a blue rocking chair by the dumpster. I swiped it in the hopes of restoring it. It ended up in a closet for the entire 2 years that we lived here. It went back out to the dumpster and was gone in less than an hour.
We have gotten rid of so much stuff. I'm anxious to see how all the rest of our stuff will fit into a much smaller place. I'm hopeful that we will be approved for the new apartment early in the week. Tomorrow is Monday again, it is the start of my last two weeks. I can't tell you how excited I am to be moving on!
Maybe tonight I will finish that box in the kitchen...
Saturday, July 5, 2008
22 days!
On my iGoogle homepage (love it!), I have 2 countdowns. One counts down to the day that Ryan and I have to be out of our apartment and the other counts down the days until our 2nd cruise with my sister, Mike and Ryan's parents. In 1 hour, the countdown will tell me that there are only TWENTY-TWO days until move-out date and 85 days until cruising time. Now, normally this would be a post about how I don't know where I"m moving too so I'm really worried about not having a place to live, blah, blah, blah...In the past week, somehow I have come to peace with the idea that we don't know where we'll be in a month. How this was accomplished, I have no idea, but I'm enjoying the break from the constant worry.
Today, in light of having helped move my sister out of her apartment yesterday, I am more concerned with how we have to pack 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen into neat little, move-able boxes. Oy! Not only that, wherever we end up, the place will definitely be much smaller (i.e. 2 bedrooms or less). So, we're cleaning out the closets of clothes we don't wear, don't like or don't fit into. We're dumping dishes that are not whole and trinkets that are useless. All of the cleaning out has thus far lead us to several bags to salvation army and several more to the dumpster and, still, it looks like we are very much settled into this apartment. Ryan has been working for days on cleaning up his crafting area and I have been packing up all the little things and scrubbing and cleaning what can be cleaned. It's a big project and I'm curious to see how the final days of moving pan out.
We didn't do anything special for Fourth of July celebrating. Not to say that I don't appreciate what the holiday represents, but we all celebrate in our own ways. I spent the morning helping my dad and sister clean out some of her apartment. Then we (+ Ryan) all had lunch at Olive Garden. Afterward, Ryan and I spent the rest of the afternoon at home. It was a perfect day to be honest. I read on the futon will Ryan packed up his Warhammer loot. We cooked dinner together and went to bed happy. I couldn't have asked for a better start to a 3 day weekend.
Today, in light of having helped move my sister out of her apartment yesterday, I am more concerned with how we have to pack 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a living room and a kitchen into neat little, move-able boxes. Oy! Not only that, wherever we end up, the place will definitely be much smaller (i.e. 2 bedrooms or less). So, we're cleaning out the closets of clothes we don't wear, don't like or don't fit into. We're dumping dishes that are not whole and trinkets that are useless. All of the cleaning out has thus far lead us to several bags to salvation army and several more to the dumpster and, still, it looks like we are very much settled into this apartment. Ryan has been working for days on cleaning up his crafting area and I have been packing up all the little things and scrubbing and cleaning what can be cleaned. It's a big project and I'm curious to see how the final days of moving pan out.
We didn't do anything special for Fourth of July celebrating. Not to say that I don't appreciate what the holiday represents, but we all celebrate in our own ways. I spent the morning helping my dad and sister clean out some of her apartment. Then we (+ Ryan) all had lunch at Olive Garden. Afterward, Ryan and I spent the rest of the afternoon at home. It was a perfect day to be honest. I read on the futon will Ryan packed up his Warhammer loot. We cooked dinner together and went to bed happy. I couldn't have asked for a better start to a 3 day weekend.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Italian night
For months some of the girls at work and I have been talking about getting together more often as a morale boost and a chance to get to know each other. Awhile ago, we all went out and saw Sex and the City together (free of charge thanks to my love!). Last night, Lisa hosted an Italian themed dinner. We had an Italian salad, smoked mozarella fonduta, pasta, lots of cheeses, red wine and a lot of laughter. We all decided to make something and bring it over. I made the smoked mozarella fonduta. True to my nature, I messed up the recipe a little bit and forgot one of the cheeses, but it still tasted delicious. There was also tomato/caper/other topped pasta, wine, salad and homemade tiramisu (soooo good).
Since I've not really had "girlfriends" since high school, I really didn't know what to expect from a group of 5 girls sitting around a coffee table, drinking wine. Little did I know, I was in for a fun night. We all come from such different places. There was Susan who tried to convince us she is from the ghetto of Durham, complete with only knowing how to "butt and grind" and being related to someone who got held up at gunpoint at the local grocery store. Then quiet Nora who dropped in a quick story every now and then, but seemed more content to sip her wine and laugh at the rest of us making fools of ourselves. Maggie the Polock put in her 2 cents with her bilingual abilities. And finally (but not the least), Lisa, our hostess. She always had a funny story up her sleeve - usually something about an awkward situation we can all relate to and how she elegantly (or embarassingly) maneuvered her way out of it.
It was definitely a fun evening. I had more cheese than I care to admit to eating, but it was worth it. Lisa's house was so lovely. It makes me wonder when I'll become a real adult, married with a nice house to nest in. I still feel like a college kid, renting and not knowing where I'll be for anything past the next year. But she had all these coordinated decorations and matching furniture; luxuries which I have yet to experience. I hope we do it again sometime soon, especially before Ryan and I move.
Since I've not really had "girlfriends" since high school, I really didn't know what to expect from a group of 5 girls sitting around a coffee table, drinking wine. Little did I know, I was in for a fun night. We all come from such different places. There was Susan who tried to convince us she is from the ghetto of Durham, complete with only knowing how to "butt and grind" and being related to someone who got held up at gunpoint at the local grocery store. Then quiet Nora who dropped in a quick story every now and then, but seemed more content to sip her wine and laugh at the rest of us making fools of ourselves. Maggie the Polock put in her 2 cents with her bilingual abilities. And finally (but not the least), Lisa, our hostess. She always had a funny story up her sleeve - usually something about an awkward situation we can all relate to and how she elegantly (or embarassingly) maneuvered her way out of it.
It was definitely a fun evening. I had more cheese than I care to admit to eating, but it was worth it. Lisa's house was so lovely. It makes me wonder when I'll become a real adult, married with a nice house to nest in. I still feel like a college kid, renting and not knowing where I'll be for anything past the next year. But she had all these coordinated decorations and matching furniture; luxuries which I have yet to experience. I hope we do it again sometime soon, especially before Ryan and I move.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
the best laid plans...
Way, way, way back in January I made a few goals, some of which have actually been achieved. I have lost 16 pounds and counting. I took the GRE (gasp!) and did shockingly better than I thought I would (1180). Ryan and I finally decided to stop waiting on Privateer Press and moved on with our lives. We scoped out places to live in Orlando, after he finally decided on a theater to work out and picked an area that would be ideal for us to live. Then, I applied for UCF Graduate School to become a teacher, was accepted and registered for classes.
After months and months of agonizing and searching, complaining and despairing, it all seems to be coming together. Then we had to hit the breaks on our newly laid plans, to wait for one glitch. After July 11, we'll have a better idea of what will really come to fruition. I will not complain or despair this time. I'm getting really good at waiting, it's not any fun though.
After months and months of agonizing and searching, complaining and despairing, it all seems to be coming together. Then we had to hit the breaks on our newly laid plans, to wait for one glitch. After July 11, we'll have a better idea of what will really come to fruition. I will not complain or despair this time. I'm getting really good at waiting, it's not any fun though.
Friday, May 2, 2008
GRE
Last night I began my first real night of studying for the GRE. I am not very good at studying well ahead of time, preferring to procrastinate and cram last minute. However, after last night I can see that I have a long road ahead. While studying, I realized that it has been 6 full years since the last time I took a math class. It was Calculus 2, rather impressive for an English major.
I am completely ashamed of how poor my math skills have become. Square roots? Integers? Area of a triangle/rectangle/square, huh? I figure the English part will need some attention, obviously, but the Math part is going to be a real challenge.
In other news, I really want get a dog. On those stressful days at work or boring afternoons at home, it would be really relaxing and fun to go for a walk and just be happy as a puppy for a little while.
Oh yeah, and my job is still pure hell.
I am completely ashamed of how poor my math skills have become. Square roots? Integers? Area of a triangle/rectangle/square, huh? I figure the English part will need some attention, obviously, but the Math part is going to be a real challenge.
In other news, I really want get a dog. On those stressful days at work or boring afternoons at home, it would be really relaxing and fun to go for a walk and just be happy as a puppy for a little while.
Oh yeah, and my job is still pure hell.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Patience - a virtue which I lack
I am so tired of waiting. Seriously. Let's get this show on the road!
Priority 1: Privateer Press needs to make a decision.
P-2: I need to take the GRE.
P-3: Ryan and I need to decide what city we're going to live in.
P-4: I need to find a new job.
P-5: I need to go to grad school for Elementary Education.
All of those things are contingent upon priority #1!!!!!
Priority 1: Privateer Press needs to make a decision.
P-2: I need to take the GRE.
P-3: Ryan and I need to decide what city we're going to live in.
P-4: I need to find a new job.
P-5: I need to go to grad school for Elementary Education.
All of those things are contingent upon priority #1!!!!!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
One thing I will never understand
Changing tastebuds: I've recently been experimenting with my "habit foods". By default, when I'm hungry and don't want to eat out, I eat cereal or chicken patties. For breakfast, I usually go for a bagel and cream cheese. Coffee is my main source of caffeine. Last week, I went for oatmeal, just to see if it's been "seven years" since my tastebuds decided they didn't like oatmeal. This week, I'm trying tea. So far, I've been successful in enjoying both of these things. Though, I'm still not a fan of lettuce on sandwiches or mayo in general or onions on anything.
When I'm hungry and I just have to go out to eat, I usually end up at a sushi place, Olive Garden or Sonny's. And when I go to those places I get either salmon or chicken and broccoli in some form. I've tried other meals to no avail. How do I know when it's been long enough to be able to enjoy something I never enjoyed previously?
That is all.
When I'm hungry and I just have to go out to eat, I usually end up at a sushi place, Olive Garden or Sonny's. And when I go to those places I get either salmon or chicken and broccoli in some form. I've tried other meals to no avail. How do I know when it's been long enough to be able to enjoy something I never enjoyed previously?
That is all.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
2nd grade
Today, instead of the normal daily grind (secretary extraordinaire), I spent the day in Mrs. Oak's second grade classroom. I was the most enthusiastic and eager to learn temporary teacher's assistant there ever was! I patiently helped kids make puppets, repeated myself 30 times telling kids to sit down or help their neighbors, I led the line of 20 children to lunch and was at the end of the line running the kids in after reccess. I ate lunch in the teacher's lounge (ooooohhhh) and I helped monitor the children at a school assembly (aaaahhh).
My friend Rachel introduced me to her mom a couple of years ago and then suggested that I sit in on her classroom one day to see if I'd like being a teacher. Mrs. Oaks is very sweet and motivating. She helped answer my questions and calm most of my fears and/or nervousness I had about leading a classroom. Her curriculum, though mandated by Duval County, is presented creatively. The children admire and respect her.
There are parts of me that are still unsure about entering into an educational career and part of me that is ready to jump right in. Let's face it, I've been kicking the idea around since about a month after I graduated, but for some reason never made the decision to go for it. After wasting 2 years being a banker and a secretary, I think I may have finally found what I am truly interested in.
In other news, after hearing the devastating diagnosis from All Pro Imports that my car is worthless and will! die! very! soon! I took my car in for a second opinion at Jerry Bush Auto. I spent a fraction of the $10,000 worth of work that All Pro quoted and got everything necessary fixed with much friendlier service. The car makes NO SOUNDS!!! I'm in heaven! I can hear the radio without any extra rattles and creaks in the background. I can drive with the windows down and not be embarrassed to go over bumps! I'm somewhat broke with the still expensive cost of the repairs, but I don't have to buy a new car.
The stress of the last few days has melted considerably and I am once again hopeful and positive about the future.
My friend Rachel introduced me to her mom a couple of years ago and then suggested that I sit in on her classroom one day to see if I'd like being a teacher. Mrs. Oaks is very sweet and motivating. She helped answer my questions and calm most of my fears and/or nervousness I had about leading a classroom. Her curriculum, though mandated by Duval County, is presented creatively. The children admire and respect her.
There are parts of me that are still unsure about entering into an educational career and part of me that is ready to jump right in. Let's face it, I've been kicking the idea around since about a month after I graduated, but for some reason never made the decision to go for it. After wasting 2 years being a banker and a secretary, I think I may have finally found what I am truly interested in.
In other news, after hearing the devastating diagnosis from All Pro Imports that my car is worthless and will! die! very! soon! I took my car in for a second opinion at Jerry Bush Auto. I spent a fraction of the $10,000 worth of work that All Pro quoted and got everything necessary fixed with much friendlier service. The car makes NO SOUNDS!!! I'm in heaven! I can hear the radio without any extra rattles and creaks in the background. I can drive with the windows down and not be embarrassed to go over bumps! I'm somewhat broke with the still expensive cost of the repairs, but I don't have to buy a new car.
The stress of the last few days has melted considerably and I am once again hopeful and positive about the future.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
a prayer
Hello Lord,
It has been sometime since I have whole-heartedly, unblinkingly, without reservation given you all my thoughts, hopes, dreams and faith; and even longer still since I've felt the connection to you that once was in my heart. In the time that has passed, so much has happened that I should have turned to you for guidance and faith to get through.
Lately, I have felt more than a little lost. My life feels full of unknown variables and blurry next steps. There are things that I whole-heartedly desire and things that I whole-heartedly want to be free of once and for all. Please help me come back to you, so that I can remember what it feels like to have my life in turmoil, but my core beliefs unshakeable.
Amen.
Sara Groves always said it best.
"Hello Lord"
Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering
It has been sometime since I have whole-heartedly, unblinkingly, without reservation given you all my thoughts, hopes, dreams and faith; and even longer still since I've felt the connection to you that once was in my heart. In the time that has passed, so much has happened that I should have turned to you for guidance and faith to get through.
Lately, I have felt more than a little lost. My life feels full of unknown variables and blurry next steps. There are things that I whole-heartedly desire and things that I whole-heartedly want to be free of once and for all. Please help me come back to you, so that I can remember what it feels like to have my life in turmoil, but my core beliefs unshakeable.
Amen.
Sara Groves always said it best.
"Hello Lord"
Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering
Friday, April 4, 2008
get this girl some alcohol!
It has seriously been one hell of a week for me at work and at home. Monday was chaotic just because it was Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday, the department had a candidate visiting and I was in charge of his itinerary. I can never, ever keep up with where a candidate is at, not even in a perfect world! I spent those days in meetings and chasing after the candidate. Then Thursday I toiled painfully through a rather daunting task. It took me nearly the entire day to get through it and at 3:00 I completely pissed off the Chairman. Lovely. That day ended in some tears and frustration. I held it together the best I could and kept my head down until I waas free at 4:00.
It is now Friday. Thank you Jesus for getting me here today. I can't even begin to explain how mentally exhausted I am feeling this morning. A typical Friday consists of the bare minimum of work and a mindset of "let me just get through the day". This Friday, I am elbow deep in work that was neglected for the busyness of the past 4 days.
As far as I know, Ryan and I don't have any solid plans for the weekend and that is okay by me. If I spent the entire weekend on the couch playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl, taking naps and reading, I'd be happy as a pig in mud.
It is now Friday. Thank you Jesus for getting me here today. I can't even begin to explain how mentally exhausted I am feeling this morning. A typical Friday consists of the bare minimum of work and a mindset of "let me just get through the day". This Friday, I am elbow deep in work that was neglected for the busyness of the past 4 days.
As far as I know, Ryan and I don't have any solid plans for the weekend and that is okay by me. If I spent the entire weekend on the couch playing Super Smash Brothers Brawl, taking naps and reading, I'd be happy as a pig in mud.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
tuesday feels like monday feels like rain
Me: Does anyone else feel like today has felt like a second Monday?
April: Yes! I can hardly stand one Monday, much less two!
About 2 Mondays a month, we have seriously hectic days, where it feels like someone turned the office upside down and shook it really hard before turning it rightside up again. Yesterday was one of those Mondays and today followed in its wake with just as much chaos. We had a faculty candidate coming to interview today. Like always, I arranged all of his travel, hotel and itinerary and crossed my fingers, praying that things would go as smoothly as possible. His flight got cancelled once, then delayed. His appointments all had to be rearranged. The entire office felt topsy-turvy, while I balanced his itinerary with the help of Nora and the rest of my job.
By the time I got home this afternoon, at nearly 6:00pm, I felt ragged. I'm afraid of what tomorrow holds, but I guess a fast-paced busy couple of days is better than endlessly, hopelessly slow days.
In other news, today is April 1. Ryan has officially turned in his application as of 3 days ago. I have this feeling like every day until we hear something, anything is going to be agonizingly painful. I've been thinking only positive thoughts about what could happen in the next month or so. It has been refreshing to think of something that I actually want to do whole-heartedly, rather than falling onto new places or hopes for lack of anything better to look forward to. Either way, July 28 is the last day in this apartment and we're off on a new adventure, maybe in Gainesvlle, maybe in Seattle or maybe in Orlando.
April: Yes! I can hardly stand one Monday, much less two!
About 2 Mondays a month, we have seriously hectic days, where it feels like someone turned the office upside down and shook it really hard before turning it rightside up again. Yesterday was one of those Mondays and today followed in its wake with just as much chaos. We had a faculty candidate coming to interview today. Like always, I arranged all of his travel, hotel and itinerary and crossed my fingers, praying that things would go as smoothly as possible. His flight got cancelled once, then delayed. His appointments all had to be rearranged. The entire office felt topsy-turvy, while I balanced his itinerary with the help of Nora and the rest of my job.
By the time I got home this afternoon, at nearly 6:00pm, I felt ragged. I'm afraid of what tomorrow holds, but I guess a fast-paced busy couple of days is better than endlessly, hopelessly slow days.
In other news, today is April 1. Ryan has officially turned in his application as of 3 days ago. I have this feeling like every day until we hear something, anything is going to be agonizingly painful. I've been thinking only positive thoughts about what could happen in the next month or so. It has been refreshing to think of something that I actually want to do whole-heartedly, rather than falling onto new places or hopes for lack of anything better to look forward to. Either way, July 28 is the last day in this apartment and we're off on a new adventure, maybe in Gainesvlle, maybe in Seattle or maybe in Orlando.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
It isn't the prettiest duck-cake of all time, but I like it!Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Melting Pot
Last night Ryan and I went to the Melting Pot with some friends. I've only ever done dessert there. We had never done the whole 4 course meal thing at this place before so we were all excited to see what it was all about.
It was nothing like the usual chain restaurants that we frequent, as in, the food was not cooked when it got to the table (and we're not talking uncooked the way sushi is uncooked!). The pot in the middle is where you put your skewered meat/fish choice in for a (random) amount of time.
Here we are with Liz and Anthony once our dinner was served. As you can see, there were about 30 different things to dip the food in. She named them all, but after she named the lobster tail and the shrimp, I was completely lost. Based on Anthony's reactions of "Hmmm, that's edible, not good but not bad either" and "Okay, that's gross", I stuck to the basic, cook the food until it isn't pink and eat it. Every item she set on the table had an explanation! " Cook this unknown meat for this long, cook that fish for that long. This sauce tastes like this and is good with that one. These take longer so throw them in early. Don't eat directly off your skewer. The spoon will get really hot" and so on. We felt like we needed little flags for each food and a timer. It was all very interesting and there was lots of laughter at our table. I'm not sure I would do it again, but it was definitely interesting to try it once.
Here's Ryan's tasty drink. Neat!
And of course, at the end of our 4-course meal came the DESSERT! Flambeed chocolate! There were strawberries, bananas, cheesecake, rice crispy treats, marshmallows, some cake thing and brownies. Obviously, we needed no assistance in naming these or timing how long to dip. The formula was simple: pick a dessert, drown it in milk chocolate mixed with Bailey's and try not to lose a single drop of goodness on the table or your shirt. If it lands on your chin, don't be wasteful!
Life does not get any better than a fabulous dinner loved ones!
Monday, March 17, 2008
thoughts
Weekends are just never long enough. By the time I’ve caught up on as many sleeping hours as is possible without feeling too slothful, the weekend was halfway over. My alarm went off this morning and my first thought for the day was “Oh man, not Monday again.” I’m so positive in the morning it kills me! In an effort to start the day off on a better foot, I crawled back into bed after I was all ready for work and got my traditional extra snuggle (and snooze) before I battled the day.
Today is St. Patrick’s day! A bunch of people from work are planning to go to Beef O’Brady’s. I haven’t decided if this is a good idea or a very bad idea. I have zero intentions to drink, as I am on a bi-annual schedule for drinking; once for Rachel’s birthday every year and one other random time. I had the “one other random time” a couple of weeks ago and my stomach is still sadly remembering the vomitous affects. Considering its St. Patty’s day and my co-workers have chosen an Irish pub, I’m thinking it’s going to be a little crazy.
In other news, Ryan has been looking into a job on the other side of the country. Since I love to research trips and other cities, I have been scouring the internet for all things Washington. We played with the idea of moving to Seattle last year, but it sort of fizzled out when we realized how much would have to go into planning that kind of move. This time around, my search has been more comprehensive and now moving to Orlando just doesn’t seem as exciting as it once did. There’s an Ikea there, mountains, actual seasons, a different coast, and Seattle has become more environmentally conscious over the years. We’ve even talked about mini-vacays to Canada. I’ve never been to that side of Canada!
The trees in Florida just don't look this good.
We’ve spent weekends in Orlando more times than I can count. Though I still don’t know my way around per se, I already know what Orlando has to offer. I have loved every trip, but Seattle has an entirely different set of fun things to explore. Orlando may be the more responsible move, as it will cost considerably less to make that move, but in the long run, who cares if we spent a little extra on moving? It isn’t like that little bit extra is going to let me retire any earlier.
Today is St. Patrick’s day! A bunch of people from work are planning to go to Beef O’Brady’s. I haven’t decided if this is a good idea or a very bad idea. I have zero intentions to drink, as I am on a bi-annual schedule for drinking; once for Rachel’s birthday every year and one other random time. I had the “one other random time” a couple of weeks ago and my stomach is still sadly remembering the vomitous affects. Considering its St. Patty’s day and my co-workers have chosen an Irish pub, I’m thinking it’s going to be a little crazy.
In other news, Ryan has been looking into a job on the other side of the country. Since I love to research trips and other cities, I have been scouring the internet for all things Washington. We played with the idea of moving to Seattle last year, but it sort of fizzled out when we realized how much would have to go into planning that kind of move. This time around, my search has been more comprehensive and now moving to Orlando just doesn’t seem as exciting as it once did. There’s an Ikea there, mountains, actual seasons, a different coast, and Seattle has become more environmentally conscious over the years. We’ve even talked about mini-vacays to Canada. I’ve never been to that side of Canada!
The trees in Florida just don't look this good.We’ve spent weekends in Orlando more times than I can count. Though I still don’t know my way around per se, I already know what Orlando has to offer. I have loved every trip, but Seattle has an entirely different set of fun things to explore. Orlando may be the more responsible move, as it will cost considerably less to make that move, but in the long run, who cares if we spent a little extra on moving? It isn’t like that little bit extra is going to let me retire any earlier.
I think another alluring feature is city skylines. Yes, Orlando is a big city, but Seattle seems to be a taller city.
P.S. I found these pictures at Seattle Daily Photo.
Friday, March 14, 2008
FRIDAY!!!
Good gosh it's finally Friday. This week I tried to bring a new attitude to work. It's helped me get through much better than I expected. The days have gone by surprisingly fast considering that it was a full 5 day week for once (I've been taking Fridays off for various reasons). I'm still not loving the job, but I'm getting through. We're halfway through March. It won't be long before Ryan and I go into full planning mode for what happens after July 28.
We had Panera for lunch today and I am absolutely stuffed. I didn't go to Panera for nearly 3 months and then I go twice in one week. When it rains, it pours, I guess. I don't have anything really interesting to say, just wanted to say something. That is all.
We had Panera for lunch today and I am absolutely stuffed. I didn't go to Panera for nearly 3 months and then I go twice in one week. When it rains, it pours, I guess. I don't have anything really interesting to say, just wanted to say something. That is all.
Monday, March 10, 2008
blue mondays
Another 26 or so Mondays before this all ends. Another 26 or so Mondays of getting up and going to work after doing everything and anything fulfilling that I can possibly squeeze in before selling my soul again for the weekly grind. Working for the weekend. Gross.
140 days until my lease ends.
203 days before we depart for the cruise!
4 more hours before I get to go home again.
10 more lbs to lose before I'm anywhere close to feeling comfortable in my skin.
sigh.
140 days until my lease ends.
203 days before we depart for the cruise!
4 more hours before I get to go home again.
10 more lbs to lose before I'm anywhere close to feeling comfortable in my skin.
sigh.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
What if I just did exactly what I wanted to do? What if I just wasn’t afraid, wasn’t afraid of anything? That question feels so monumental, I think I’ll repeat. What if I just wasn’t afraid?
Nora convinced me to watch this show, “Quarterlife” which can be found here: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=159457533. I warn you, small circle of readers, if you are as easily sucked into the miserable lives of fake people as I am, then you will be very sucked into this show. It’s “shtick” is that you can catch an episode in just 15 short minutes. There’s this girl who pours her heart out to you in this very raw why. I love her because she’s unsure of herself. And this girl asks the question that I haven’t been brave enough to ask myself seriously. What if I just did exactly what I wanted to do and wasn’t afraid?
There are so many things that I am afraid of. And in true, jennstarme fashion, I give you people a list. A list of things I’m afraid of (other than the dark):
1.Failure
2.Being to poor to provide me and mine with the simple necessities of life (and some of the more complicated, more useless things in life)
3.Never finding the right career
4.Disappointing my family, my friends, the love of my life
5.Giving up the things I value in exchange for what I think people want me to be or to have
6.Being fat
7.Being alone
8.Having a boring life
My latest obsession is teaching. I’ve actually let the idea of quitting my job and becoming a substitute teacher. What would I do in the summertime, you ask? I don’t know.
I waver on quitting and letting it all go to hell or being responsible and saving up as much money as I can to make sure that when I do eventually move to Orlando, I'll have enough money to last while I find a job. We all know I'll do the saving money route, but damnit I'll be kicking and whining the whole way.
Nora convinced me to watch this show, “Quarterlife” which can be found here: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=159457533. I warn you, small circle of readers, if you are as easily sucked into the miserable lives of fake people as I am, then you will be very sucked into this show. It’s “shtick” is that you can catch an episode in just 15 short minutes. There’s this girl who pours her heart out to you in this very raw why. I love her because she’s unsure of herself. And this girl asks the question that I haven’t been brave enough to ask myself seriously. What if I just did exactly what I wanted to do and wasn’t afraid?
There are so many things that I am afraid of. And in true, jennstarme fashion, I give you people a list. A list of things I’m afraid of (other than the dark):
1.Failure
2.Being to poor to provide me and mine with the simple necessities of life (and some of the more complicated, more useless things in life)
3.Never finding the right career
4.Disappointing my family, my friends, the love of my life
5.Giving up the things I value in exchange for what I think people want me to be or to have
6.Being fat
7.Being alone
8.Having a boring life
My latest obsession is teaching. I’ve actually let the idea of quitting my job and becoming a substitute teacher. What would I do in the summertime, you ask? I don’t know.
I waver on quitting and letting it all go to hell or being responsible and saving up as much money as I can to make sure that when I do eventually move to Orlando, I'll have enough money to last while I find a job. We all know I'll do the saving money route, but damnit I'll be kicking and whining the whole way.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
resolutions revisited.
Always around the first week of the year, everyone talks about their New Year’s Resolutions. By the end of January, the resolutions are out of sight, out of mind. This post, I’m revisiting my resolutions/goals to see how I’ve been doing.
1. Catch up in scrapbooking: I have now scrapbooked through May of 2006. I got on a scrapbooking kick for about 2 weeks and trudged through 2005 and half of 2006.
2. Make the Australia scrapbook: Zero progress.
3. Drink more water. 4 out 7 days a week, I’m good. The other days are mediocre, but I have been making Ryan drink more water. Does that count?
4. Create a health and fitness plan that gradually builds: I spent January reasonably dedicated to one workout a week and no eating out. Then birthday and Valentine’s day madness came around and I fell off the wagon, hard. I’ve since reached an all time high in weight and then come back down off the edge of a tall cliff. I’m back on water and the treadmill.
5. Move to a new city: Orlando is looking more and more realistic.
6. Make new friends: I haven’t exactly made new friends, but I have been more active with current friends and people from work.
7. Build up my savings account: I mailed a check to my mom yesterday to be deposited in my new MM account. It has a higher interest rate. I’ve been much better about controlling the urge to eat out. I’ve cut back drastically on how often I run downstairs for a coffee or bagel. I bought creamer for when we make coffee in the office and buy regular coffee instead of the fancy stuff (twice as expensive). This has been my greatest success in terms of making new year’s resolutions.
8. Figure out my career choices: I have been switching back and forth between nursing and teaching for months now. Finally, I decided that, either way, I have to take the GRE. So I have books and notecards courtesy of Maggie and will be taking the test by the end of April.
9. Religion: Not sure where this is going yet.
As for number 8, the latest issue of Real Simple touches on our greatest decision-making problems. In this case, I have gone through every road block in deciding what career I want to pursue. I’ve waffled, procrastinated, polled people’s opinion, been over cautious, etc. I’ve now set a deadline to decide. April = GRE. June = application deadline. I will have a decision and I will pursue something. Not because of a last minute decision, but because putting it off will only keep me more miserable.
1. Catch up in scrapbooking: I have now scrapbooked through May of 2006. I got on a scrapbooking kick for about 2 weeks and trudged through 2005 and half of 2006.
2. Make the Australia scrapbook: Zero progress.
3. Drink more water. 4 out 7 days a week, I’m good. The other days are mediocre, but I have been making Ryan drink more water. Does that count?
4. Create a health and fitness plan that gradually builds: I spent January reasonably dedicated to one workout a week and no eating out. Then birthday and Valentine’s day madness came around and I fell off the wagon, hard. I’ve since reached an all time high in weight and then come back down off the edge of a tall cliff. I’m back on water and the treadmill.
5. Move to a new city: Orlando is looking more and more realistic.
6. Make new friends: I haven’t exactly made new friends, but I have been more active with current friends and people from work.
7. Build up my savings account: I mailed a check to my mom yesterday to be deposited in my new MM account. It has a higher interest rate. I’ve been much better about controlling the urge to eat out. I’ve cut back drastically on how often I run downstairs for a coffee or bagel. I bought creamer for when we make coffee in the office and buy regular coffee instead of the fancy stuff (twice as expensive). This has been my greatest success in terms of making new year’s resolutions.
8. Figure out my career choices: I have been switching back and forth between nursing and teaching for months now. Finally, I decided that, either way, I have to take the GRE. So I have books and notecards courtesy of Maggie and will be taking the test by the end of April.
9. Religion: Not sure where this is going yet.
As for number 8, the latest issue of Real Simple touches on our greatest decision-making problems. In this case, I have gone through every road block in deciding what career I want to pursue. I’ve waffled, procrastinated, polled people’s opinion, been over cautious, etc. I’ve now set a deadline to decide. April = GRE. June = application deadline. I will have a decision and I will pursue something. Not because of a last minute decision, but because putting it off will only keep me more miserable.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Lovely.
Valentine’s Day is my second favorite holiday (Christmas is the first, of course). I love giving people chocolate and I loooooove flowers! Candy hearts are yummy (almost yummier than candy corn). Everyone is super nice to each other. It’s during the cold season, even in Florida. It’s just a lovely holiday.
Ryan and I went out to dinner on Tuesday to celebrate because Valentine’s Day is soo busy and because he’s working tonight (lame). He got me 2 of my favorite movies, the Little Mermaid and Bridget Jones’ Diary, for my birthday. Then, he got me a spa gift certificate for Valentine’s Day! Perfect. I got him a date in a box, dinner gift card for Sonny’s, dessert gift card for Coldstone, a movie – The Departed – and a snack for the movie, raisonettes. The candy is already gone, but the date night is yet to be had. He always asks me to go to Sonny’s, but I’m not quite as enthusiastic about it as he is, so I figure now we can definitely go to Sonny’s just for him.
I must say, I love the man with all of my heart! He got a haircut, trimmed his beard and shaved for our special night out. We got all dressed up and went to Bonefish Grill. He looked so handsome I could hardly take my eyes off of him! About 2 weeks ago, though, he made it painfully obvious that there was some sort of gift in the apartment that he was hiding from me. When I asked him what it was or when I’d get it, he just kept saying “I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Well, the most torturous thing you can do to me is tell me I have a surprise but not give it to me. Sooooo, last night he said I wouldn’t get to have it this mysterious thing until we moved to Orlando! That’s not until the END OF JULY! Are you kidding me?! I am not that patient! I can’t stand it! I want to tear the apartment up in search of this “perfect hiding space” of his. I like surprises, but geez, couldn’t he have kept the secret until closer to the time he was planning on giving it to me?! Oy. My life is very hard.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE! I hope your day is filled with love and romance.
Ryan and I went out to dinner on Tuesday to celebrate because Valentine’s Day is soo busy and because he’s working tonight (lame). He got me 2 of my favorite movies, the Little Mermaid and Bridget Jones’ Diary, for my birthday. Then, he got me a spa gift certificate for Valentine’s Day! Perfect. I got him a date in a box, dinner gift card for Sonny’s, dessert gift card for Coldstone, a movie – The Departed – and a snack for the movie, raisonettes. The candy is already gone, but the date night is yet to be had. He always asks me to go to Sonny’s, but I’m not quite as enthusiastic about it as he is, so I figure now we can definitely go to Sonny’s just for him.
I must say, I love the man with all of my heart! He got a haircut, trimmed his beard and shaved for our special night out. We got all dressed up and went to Bonefish Grill. He looked so handsome I could hardly take my eyes off of him! About 2 weeks ago, though, he made it painfully obvious that there was some sort of gift in the apartment that he was hiding from me. When I asked him what it was or when I’d get it, he just kept saying “I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Well, the most torturous thing you can do to me is tell me I have a surprise but not give it to me. Sooooo, last night he said I wouldn’t get to have it this mysterious thing until we moved to Orlando! That’s not until the END OF JULY! Are you kidding me?! I am not that patient! I can’t stand it! I want to tear the apartment up in search of this “perfect hiding space” of his. I like surprises, but geez, couldn’t he have kept the secret until closer to the time he was planning on giving it to me?! Oy. My life is very hard.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE! I hope your day is filled with love and romance.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
the good with the bad
The judge had no mercy. Not only did I have to pay for the full ticket, but I was assigned to take the class to avoid any points. I was a basket case in front of the judge, a nervous mess. It is over, however. After putting myself under restriction for the last month, the cost of the ticket and the class have not at all affected my bank account. Ryan and I avoided eating out as much as possible. We have not been to Papa John's in over a month now and I did not go to Panera or Moe's at all. There were times when we got subs or sushi and 2 trips to Olive Garden. However, Ryan paid for a couple and I had a gift card for OG. I paid for a couple, but eating out twice is much improved. The fact that I can count the number of times we "slipped" is a good thing in and of itself.
All in all, it was an expensive lesson. My self discipline has paid for my moment of irresponsible driving. I'm rather proud of myself for not allowing myself to stop the growth of my savings account for a careless mistake. We are hoping to continue the trend of not eating out. With the exception of my birthday/Valentine's Day dinner and an occassional bagel, we will continue to avoid Moe's, Panera, Papa John's and Arby's. We are also meeting my brother and sister in Orlando next Friday for a double birthday celebration. We're all going to a late lunch and then to Islands of Adventure for the evening.
February is going to be a good month, especially since I don't have the ticket looming over my head anymore.
All in all, it was an expensive lesson. My self discipline has paid for my moment of irresponsible driving. I'm rather proud of myself for not allowing myself to stop the growth of my savings account for a careless mistake. We are hoping to continue the trend of not eating out. With the exception of my birthday/Valentine's Day dinner and an occassional bagel, we will continue to avoid Moe's, Panera, Papa John's and Arby's. We are also meeting my brother and sister in Orlando next Friday for a double birthday celebration. We're all going to a late lunch and then to Islands of Adventure for the evening.
February is going to be a good month, especially since I don't have the ticket looming over my head anymore.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
tell it to the judge
This afternoon, I am going to stand in front of the judge and beg him/her to cut me some slack. I'm basically going to say that I have always taken pride in my clean record, I don't make a ton of money and I would really appreciate it if the judge could reduce the cost of my ticket and not assign points. I have the little paragraph written out. I'm not planning to "plead my case" word for word off the paper, but I will probably use it a crutch to get me through it.
I have never actually gone to court for anything, being the goody two-shoes that I am. I fully regret going the court route and wish that I had just paid the stupid thing. It will definitely be an interesting experience. This ordeal has been on my mind since the day I got the ticket. I'm sure my co-workers would love for me to just get it over with. Oy.
I have never actually gone to court for anything, being the goody two-shoes that I am. I fully regret going the court route and wish that I had just paid the stupid thing. It will definitely be an interesting experience. This ordeal has been on my mind since the day I got the ticket. I'm sure my co-workers would love for me to just get it over with. Oy.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Everything but work
I must make an effort to focus on the other side of my life, the side that has nothing to do with the day-to-day grind that comes with being a sr. secretary extraordinaire. My life is so much more than just work; I scrapbook, pretend to sew, I love to read, I'm in a wonderful relationship, good friends and I am trying to be healthier and more active.
During the menstrual days, I was dumb enough to weigh myself almost daily. I reached peaks that nearly brought me to tears! However, I kept it together long enough to watch what foods and drinks went into my mouth, not counting the comfort foods that got me through Friday, and weighed myself post-period. I have successfully backed off those horrible 4 pounds, to a more reasonable number that is basically right where I started.
Nora and I went for a 30 minute walk on Monday and then a 45 minute step-aerobic class. The step class left me sore and walking funny for a few days. I find myself looking in the mirror at my calves wondering if they are any trimmer for my efforts. I’m thinking no.
I have spent the last day and half being active, mostly through chores around the apartment and spending time with my love. Today, I have the day to myself so I’ve gotten back on the sewing wagon. Projects are small and easy to handle, yet help me get more experience in the measuring, cutting and prepping stages.
My scrapbook is now caught up through 2005 and the first 2006 pages are in progress. Once the pictures came in the mail my book doubled in size. I’m looking forward to getting into 2006. There was a trip to the Keys, family vacation, a trip to the Philippines, football games, Ryan and Jenn time and Nina and my graduation.
The apartment is looking better and better. Ryan and I have been fairly careful about keeping it presentable yet live-able. Occasionally the dishes pile up or the laundry is strewn all over chairs and the floor, but in general, with little effort, the place is guest friendly. We have been okay about my eating out restrictions. I haven’t gone to get a bagel and coffee at work at all. I have not ordered Papa John’s, nor gone to Panera. I ate once at Olive Garden, but used a gift card. We have gone to get sushi twice, but split the bill so as not to have one person spending too much money. My finances are stable and that horrible speeding ticket will soon be a thing of the past. The court date is the 31st, eleven days away. I don’t know what to expect in the least. I almost wish that I had just paid the ticket and moved on.
January is dragging. I have a lot to look forward to in February. Lots of birthdays, a trip to Orlando and no more worrying about being on food/money restriction. Hurry up February!
During the menstrual days, I was dumb enough to weigh myself almost daily. I reached peaks that nearly brought me to tears! However, I kept it together long enough to watch what foods and drinks went into my mouth, not counting the comfort foods that got me through Friday, and weighed myself post-period. I have successfully backed off those horrible 4 pounds, to a more reasonable number that is basically right where I started.
Nora and I went for a 30 minute walk on Monday and then a 45 minute step-aerobic class. The step class left me sore and walking funny for a few days. I find myself looking in the mirror at my calves wondering if they are any trimmer for my efforts. I’m thinking no.
I have spent the last day and half being active, mostly through chores around the apartment and spending time with my love. Today, I have the day to myself so I’ve gotten back on the sewing wagon. Projects are small and easy to handle, yet help me get more experience in the measuring, cutting and prepping stages.
My scrapbook is now caught up through 2005 and the first 2006 pages are in progress. Once the pictures came in the mail my book doubled in size. I’m looking forward to getting into 2006. There was a trip to the Keys, family vacation, a trip to the Philippines, football games, Ryan and Jenn time and Nina and my graduation.
The apartment is looking better and better. Ryan and I have been fairly careful about keeping it presentable yet live-able. Occasionally the dishes pile up or the laundry is strewn all over chairs and the floor, but in general, with little effort, the place is guest friendly. We have been okay about my eating out restrictions. I haven’t gone to get a bagel and coffee at work at all. I have not ordered Papa John’s, nor gone to Panera. I ate once at Olive Garden, but used a gift card. We have gone to get sushi twice, but split the bill so as not to have one person spending too much money. My finances are stable and that horrible speeding ticket will soon be a thing of the past. The court date is the 31st, eleven days away. I don’t know what to expect in the least. I almost wish that I had just paid the ticket and moved on.
January is dragging. I have a lot to look forward to in February. Lots of birthdays, a trip to Orlando and no more worrying about being on food/money restriction. Hurry up February!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
whining.
I have definitely been keeping to my “more social” goal. I’ve been to several game nights, a workout class, a Kevorkian lecture and movie nights. Maybe these things aren’t the coolest events or the hippest socials, but definitely more getting outing of the apartment. The downside is that the more I go out, the more difficult it is for me to come to my job. It isn’t that I’m too tired or anything, it’s just the more fun I have the more time I want to spend having fun instead of being miserable at work. It’s the same story all of the time: I am not happy with my job because I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I wish that I could just sing a different song. Maybe I’m just not growing up and am fighting the 9 to 5. Maybe I’m just not cut out for the office life. I want to be proud of what I do, not mumble, secretary when people ask what I do. I toy with the idea of teaching or nursing, but never actually go for it. What am I so afraid of?
I know that my attitude has taken a serious hit at work. I’m no longer bubbly and smiley. I no longer have patience to help those I once befriended. I am negative and grumpy and I am certainly not proud of it. Somehow I have to turn it off at home, remember that it isn’t anyone’s fault but my own that my attitude is in the dumps. I want to stay at my current job until August, simply for the longevity and continuity at one job. My resume needs the help. I don’t want to stay because I hate the work.
I know that my attitude has taken a serious hit at work. I’m no longer bubbly and smiley. I no longer have patience to help those I once befriended. I am negative and grumpy and I am certainly not proud of it. Somehow I have to turn it off at home, remember that it isn’t anyone’s fault but my own that my attitude is in the dumps. I want to stay at my current job until August, simply for the longevity and continuity at one job. My resume needs the help. I don’t want to stay because I hate the work.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
adventures in baby shopping
Today my sister and I ventured to Target so that I could purchase a baby shower gift for one of Ryan's sisters. ohmygosh, that was not fun! I printed out the list and attempted to find anything in the store. Most of the items were only available online only, and had I been organized and planned ahead, I could have had something cute and fun ordered weeks ago, but who has time for that? We spent about 45 minutes going up and down the 7 aisles matching brands, item numbers and actual items. I didn't get the things I wanted because they were not where they were supposed to be and the prices were completely off. The list said something cost $7.50 and then the store said it cost $39.99. Not helpful. None of the prices were anywhere near accurate, so I ended up just getting anything I could find on the list and in the store. When we got to the register, the items didn't scan off the list. The lovely (read: careless) cashier says "Well, maybe it'll come off eventually." Thank goodness for gift receipts. On the bright side, the mothers (and their cute little kids/babies) going up and down the aisles with me and my sister were very helpful with pointing brands or explaining what the stuff was actually used for.
The shower is on Friday, but unfortunately I can't go for dinner, I can only go to give her the presents. I am still on financial restriction (ticket, boo) and dinner at Garden is very much out of the question. Ryan and I have gone 4 days straight now without going out to eat. The entertaining part of not eating out is my pathetic attempt at cooking. I've tried a couple of dinners without taste-bud pleasing success. The food is edible, but leftovers are not appealing once we remember how tasteless the food was the first time around. I will not give up, though! A couple nights a week, I will try to learn to cook something and the others nights, well, there's nothing wrong with frozen dinners, sandwiches and/or cereal, is there? Here's hoping that January goes by fast!
The shower is on Friday, but unfortunately I can't go for dinner, I can only go to give her the presents. I am still on financial restriction (ticket, boo) and dinner at Garden is very much out of the question. Ryan and I have gone 4 days straight now without going out to eat. The entertaining part of not eating out is my pathetic attempt at cooking. I've tried a couple of dinners without taste-bud pleasing success. The food is edible, but leftovers are not appealing once we remember how tasteless the food was the first time around. I will not give up, though! A couple nights a week, I will try to learn to cook something and the others nights, well, there's nothing wrong with frozen dinners, sandwiches and/or cereal, is there? Here's hoping that January goes by fast!
Thursday, January 3, 2008
happy new year!
This year I will be turning 24. Yikes! The new year gives us the opportunity to start fresh, evaluate where I’ve been and where I want to go. I want to make things move in my life, so I’m compiling a list of things to work toward. 2008 Here I come!
In no particular order:
1. Catch up in scrapbooking: I’ve only scrapped up to 2005 and I already have pictures from 2008! Though it has been a fun adventure to peruse through pictures from my life 2-3 years ago.
2. Make the Australia scrapbook: Admittedly, this should be under bullet 1, but this beast is a project all its own. I haven’t even begun to sift through the hundreds of pictures from my trip to Australia.
3. Drink more water.
4. Create a health and fitness plan that gradually builds: This way my goals can change daily/weekly to accommodate my schedule. So yesterday, the goal was to just use the treadmill for a full 30 minutes. It didn’t matter how many calories I burned or how far I went, just that I was moving for 30 minutes and the time was blocked off in my head. I’m hoping to use this once a week to keep my mind set on working out regularly for a set amount of time.
5. Move to a new city: I am so done with Gainesville. Crazy drivers. Freshmen season. Bad shopping. Crazy college kids. Unappealing social activities (i.e. getting drunk) Six years is enough.
6. Make new friends: On the nights when Ryan is working or the times that we would like to just have a bunch of people come hang out, there is just no one to call. I’d like to build up a new friendship base complete with girlfriends (don’t be gross), board gamers, wine and cheese lovers, and workout buddies. Where do you find these people?
7. Build up my savings account: I did some research and found that my credit union savings account is making 7x the interest of my main savings account. I have 10x the money in my main savings account! I’ll be switching accounts to get the better interest rate, but this goal involves more than just that small change. I will be working on not eating out as often, controlling the impulse buys and conserving the energy/water we consume at home. I will also be looking for a home with lower rent starting August 1.
8. Figure out my career choices: I have no illusions in my head of finding the perfect career in the next year, but I would like to narrow my choices and head in the right direction toward my choice.
9. Religion: I would like to become more spiritually active. Currently, prayers come as an after-thought or during stressful/worrisome situations. I’d like to get back to the roots of my faith.
This year seemed to go by in such a blur. In 2007 I: filed my taxes, spent as much quality time with the love of my life as possible, was in my brother’s wedding, changed jobs, RV’ed with my family, went on a cruise, lost a little bit of weight, stayed in the same apt for a second year, donated blood, saved a little more money, went to my first black-tie event and started taking piano lessons. When making my goals, I forgot to think about all the things I have accomplished this year. I’ve done more than I thought. Here’s to a great oh-eight.
In no particular order:
1. Catch up in scrapbooking: I’ve only scrapped up to 2005 and I already have pictures from 2008! Though it has been a fun adventure to peruse through pictures from my life 2-3 years ago.
2. Make the Australia scrapbook: Admittedly, this should be under bullet 1, but this beast is a project all its own. I haven’t even begun to sift through the hundreds of pictures from my trip to Australia.
3. Drink more water.
4. Create a health and fitness plan that gradually builds: This way my goals can change daily/weekly to accommodate my schedule. So yesterday, the goal was to just use the treadmill for a full 30 minutes. It didn’t matter how many calories I burned or how far I went, just that I was moving for 30 minutes and the time was blocked off in my head. I’m hoping to use this once a week to keep my mind set on working out regularly for a set amount of time.
5. Move to a new city: I am so done with Gainesville. Crazy drivers. Freshmen season. Bad shopping. Crazy college kids. Unappealing social activities (i.e. getting drunk) Six years is enough.
6. Make new friends: On the nights when Ryan is working or the times that we would like to just have a bunch of people come hang out, there is just no one to call. I’d like to build up a new friendship base complete with girlfriends (don’t be gross), board gamers, wine and cheese lovers, and workout buddies. Where do you find these people?
7. Build up my savings account: I did some research and found that my credit union savings account is making 7x the interest of my main savings account. I have 10x the money in my main savings account! I’ll be switching accounts to get the better interest rate, but this goal involves more than just that small change. I will be working on not eating out as often, controlling the impulse buys and conserving the energy/water we consume at home. I will also be looking for a home with lower rent starting August 1.
8. Figure out my career choices: I have no illusions in my head of finding the perfect career in the next year, but I would like to narrow my choices and head in the right direction toward my choice.
9. Religion: I would like to become more spiritually active. Currently, prayers come as an after-thought or during stressful/worrisome situations. I’d like to get back to the roots of my faith.
This year seemed to go by in such a blur. In 2007 I: filed my taxes, spent as much quality time with the love of my life as possible, was in my brother’s wedding, changed jobs, RV’ed with my family, went on a cruise, lost a little bit of weight, stayed in the same apt for a second year, donated blood, saved a little more money, went to my first black-tie event and started taking piano lessons. When making my goals, I forgot to think about all the things I have accomplished this year. I’ve done more than I thought. Here’s to a great oh-eight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)