le sigh.

This past week, we had family from Canada come to visit. Since it is so cold up there, they are always excited to come to Florida once every 2 years or so. They are from my dad's side of the family; his cousin, Auntie Baby, her husband Uncle Rodel and their kids, Leyna, Larissa, and Laramie (ages 25, 26, and 28). They are particularly religious, well beyond the super-Christians group and into the super-Catholic category. For that reason, I was very adamant not to bring up the fact that I live with Ryan.

I am not sure who told or how/why it came about, but they found out somehow. I went to visit them at their hotel late on the one night they were in town. The girls and I, plus Mike and Nina talked for hours beside the pool. At the very end of the night when we were saying bye, my aunt pulled me aside and lectured me at 2:30am about how it is a sin to live with my boyfriend. She didn't just stop there, oh no, like every "good Catholic" she laid on the guilt. She basically said that my family was devestated about my living situation and that just because I think I'm so in love doesn't mean it's going to last forever. She said my parents were hurt that I had left home and that my cousins who "used to look up to me" are no longer sure of my character. She said that I am still a nice girl, but that I need to change my life. Her solution to the "problem" was to encourage Ryan to marry me, as if I am some marred person that no one else will accept. I told her I feel comfortable with the decision to move in with Ryan and that I do not feel I am doing anything wrong. I do not feel that other people's opinions of my "situation" should have any affect on how I live my life. At the end, I was trying to get away from her as she pulled me gently back by the arm and said she hoped she hadn't offended me. The conversation had brought me to tears and I walked away from her quickly without saying goodbye to the others.

She offended me on a grand scale.

I am who I am and will not make apologies for it. For days, her words tore my heart apart. I felt the need to justify my choices, to confront her and tell her to get to know me before judging. That will not change her opinion or her judgement. This is something between Ryan and I and her opinion matters not.